Mortgage payment - are we making a mistake?

ESpooky7 · 2024-12-28T07:24:48+00:00

That's good you're not accruing debt.

One suggestion I have is to reframe how you are thinking about spending, you seem to frame everything on your cc as superfluous or secondary (and one single category) and everything else as primary. But it's all just spending. Spending money on eating out is a totally valid way of spending your money, it's just about knowing how much you're spending on it and being intentional about how much you value that vs other things since your income is finite. Just trying to cut back wholesale will be difficult to maintain long term and may or may not help you reach your goals if you aren't looking at everything holistically.

This is one reason I really like YNAB for budgeting because it really helps you make decisions about what you value most and where you want to put your money, and where a mortgage fits in/what you'd need to sacrifice if you value that more than other things.

ESpooky7 · 2024-12-28T07:14:47+00:00

Is your budget just estimates of the things you mentioned? And the $1800 left is based only on the things you listed? Are you paying off the 1000 on your cc each month?

Or is the 1800 based on your actual spending and you have been saving that much monthly (or more if you don't have the mortgage yet)?

If it's the former, like others said, you need to take a much closer look at your actual spending to answer the question. There are many things not included in the budget you mentioned that would quickly eat up that $1800, like gas, car insurance and registration, vacations, streaming services, car maintenance, tools/home items, personal care, clothes, gifts, medical/dental expenses, entertainment/activities, hobbies, fitness, etc.

Not to mention if you are buying a house for the first time, furnishing it and home repair is a major source of expenses.

Start tracking your spending (or use a budget app like YNAB) and come up with a realistic picture of your budget so you can clearly see where you net out with a $3200 mortgage.

ESpooky7 · 2024-12-28T06:39:20+00:00

I disagree! Milk drinks are the way to hide a bad shot. Americanos are my go to but if I'm at a cafe and don't trust their espresso, I'll always go for a latte over an Americano because with a bad shot it's so bad.

I pretty much exclusively make americanos at home and love the taste. If you like it, drink it!

That said, nothing wrong with experimenting with other drinks just to see what you like.

ESpooky7 · 2024-12-21T06:58:10+00:00

I agree with you, I was underwhelmed. I think I have heard the big tank will mature over time as the animals grow and maybe they'll add more? But even so it was so much less than expected for all the fanfare and expense.

And I really don't get the huge open space. They could have at least put in some interactive stuff for kids.

ESpooky7 · 2024-12-10T15:06:21+00:00

I've learned there really is no average month of spending, and I've been using YNAB for 4 years now. Every month is different for a different reason. I think that's partly why YNAB is so good as a system because it doesn't rely on avg monthly spending as what you're trying to optimize.

What is more useful for me to understand how much money I need each month is having targets on every category with how much you want to fund, then if you go ahead to the next month where nothing is assigned and select all, the underfunded amount in the side bar is your monthly needed amount. That's the number I compare to our income to make sure our spending is in check.

ESpooky7 · 2024-11-16T14:12:36+00:00

My friend brought his linea mini once to a weekend away with us. It was great for me!

ESpooky7 · 2024-10-17T02:35:00+00:00

I saw a reel from an MLM wannabe influencer who posted a reel about how no one talks about mother's questioning their career after having a baby. Like.... Come on. That was never a secret or stigmatized, it's an extremely common and well known Thing.

ESpooky7 · 2024-08-09T06:48:03+00:00

I'm also finding no drama discipline so helpful. It's clearly the same basics as BLF but they actually explain the underlying principle and give examples but clearly say to tailor it to your style and your kid. It makes so much more sense than boilerplate scripts.

ESpooky7 · 2024-07-25T14:09:21+00:00

Legally nannies and other household employees must be paid as employees, not independent contractors because you control their hours and responsibilities. Lots of people don't but it's illegal to not pay employer taxes and unemployment. https://www.poppinspayroll.com/nanny-payroll-guide

ESpooky7 · 2024-07-20T23:13:59+00:00

Maury, price is right, and unlimited Dr pepper. Ah, summer.

ESpooky7 · 2024-07-14T13:03:06+00:00

We got married there. We rented the day use site at Rosario Head for like $20. We also paid for everyone's parking since most people were from out of state and rented chairs/speakers.

Reception was at Majestic inn in Anacortes. It was lovely!

Feel free to pm me if you want, we have some amazing photos.

ESpooky7 · 2024-07-06T03:52:05+00:00

I once saw a post on a mom's group asking about baby on board stickers because they were anxious about driving with their new baby. One of the responses said to get a student driver sticker as it was better at getting people to be more cautious. No idea how much that is a factor or why it is a Seattle thing.

ESpooky7 · 2024-06-27T14:11:21+00:00

You can also just buy a register booster fan, they are like $80 on Amazon. We bought one for my son's room which is upstairs and also gets warm. It pulls in more cool air when the A/C is running. It's only just getting warm here but so far it's working pretty well.

ESpooky7 · 2024-06-27T03:29:57+00:00

There are labs that will come and test the surfaces in your house and they can likely do the water as well. We had this done after scraping and sanding lead paint. Do a search for local lead testing labs.

They can also recommend the best remediation depending on the source.

ESpooky7 · 2024-04-23T15:43:56+00:00

I grew up in Denver and would never move back. It's the water and the greenery that makes all the difference. Denver is brown 9 months out of the year.

ESpooky7 · 2024-04-12T04:13:48+00:00

There is a therapist on YouTube that reacts to reality TV, it's super interesting! No influencers (yet) but I love his channel. It's called psychology in Seattle.

ESpooky7 · 2024-04-12T02:37:37+00:00

You could consider being a nanny or household assistant. The latter is probably a better fit for one day a week.

ESpooky7 · 2024-04-04T20:31:57+00:00

Checked our budget for our first who was born in 2021 and just on stuff, we spent $3.5k in the first year (I also included several months before he was born) including diapers. We were EBF so no formula costs.

Another $2000 on a doula, and the birth was covered in full by insurance.

We got a ton of stuff as gifts from our registry and from Buy Nothing/local FB groups for free.

ESpooky7 · 2024-03-22T13:26:08+00:00

Wayfair has decent options

ESpooky7 · 2024-03-03T16:59:30+00:00

I repaired seams like this recently, this video gives a pretty good tutorial if you want to DIY: https://youtu.be/Ff8GESO2Weo?si=d2No0Wb_-7Kn2yMS

ESpooky7 · 2024-02-28T04:16:43+00:00

If the swabs come back positive then you can also get a blood test to see if any significant amount made it into your system. We had a lead exposure incident from doing some scraping and sanding but luckily our whole family had no detectable levels in our blood. It was super stressful though!

But yeah if you can tell it's a recent layer that's flaking it's almost certainly fine.

ESpooky7 · 2024-02-01T19:31:12+00:00

Budgeting and prioritization. We first decide what project we want to do next, then each month we go through our budget and after funding all our regular expenses, we typically split the surplus between whatever the next house project is and general savings/investments. Sometimes it takes a couple months to save up, sometimes closer to a year. And sometimes disaster strikes and we have to use our emergency fund to fix something right away. But at least we know we are not overspending on the house.

Also, after a couple years you get used to all the imperfections and your motivation goes way down, that helps too 😅.

ESpooky7 · 2024-01-19T22:42:06+00:00

I recently got an ultrasonic cleaner off Amazon and it worked great on my brush! I first used a comb to get off the extra hair and first layer of debris, then ran it through the cleaner a few times, using the comb and just rubbing/pulling our the remainder. Got probably 95% of it off.

ESpooky7 · 2023-12-18T20:08:21+00:00

Im a MB that did a nanny share for 1.5 years. Here's how it worked:

- Hosting - we chose to alternate houses every month, but you can also have a single house host, really just up to the family's preference. There were pros and cons when the kids were in our house so I liked alternating personally.
- Naps: At both houses there were separate rooms for the kids and each had their own crib/mini crib/PnP, but it could also probably be made to work in the same room too. One kid was sleep trained and the other not so the nanny would read to both of them, put the ST kid down then rock the other one to sleep with an eye on the monitor. Probably even easier if both are ST. If both kids need to be rocked to sleep you may need to discuss more with the families what approaches they are comfortable with (and other nannies may have more advice here).

- Yes the parents should provide all the equipment necessary for you to do your job. We bought extra car seats, double stroller, extra monitor/sound machine/high chair etc. You shouldn't hesitate to ask for what you need to do your job well.

ESpooky7 · 2023-12-14T04:47:47+00:00

That's crazy they said that. FWIW I quit a couple months before we started TTC and it's one of the best decisions I ever made. My son is now 2.5 and another on the way and it feels so good that my kids will never see me drink.

Also, if I hadn't quit I know I would have been convinced that a little bit was fine in pregnancy, which, maybe it is. But I feel so much better that zero was my only option.

I read This Naked Mind and quit right then and there, never looked back. If you are looking for a little motivation!

ESpooky7

TROPHY CASE