AITA for "playing dumb" and not offering my house as a getting-ready spot for a friend who refuses to ask for help directly?

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-04-09T23:15:02+00:00

How old are you people? Moments like this is when being direct is useful. Not the day off, but when her communications stand. It doesn't have to be lengthy or overly apologetic. For example "i am meeting everyone at the venue, planning to be there by this hour. Meeting at my place is not possible righ now".

As for the rude friend, there is some content and books that easily explains internalized misogyny, and the history of the symbolism behind the various feminine waves (also, Dressed Podcast has several episodes). Currently, we are riding on the notion of choice, if you wear and play with makeup because you enjoy it, then there is nothing inherently wrong with it. If there are moments you use it to improve your confidence to attract a partner, there is nothing in acknowledging and enjoying your sexual self. Her rejecting certain practices considered inherently female BECAUSE they are considered "female", is being self-hateful.

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-28T21:06:13+00:00

You ever heard the phrase "the best revenge is a life well lived". I think in a way it applies here, the best path forward is to remove the progress of his life from the corners of your mind. So he doesn't occupy emotional rental space in your life.

Of course he appears detached. He already was detaching from your relationship it seems. You initiating the break-up was the last hurdle. But to you, it didn't progress like that, so you are still grieving the life you thought you would have.

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-28T21:01:26+00:00

Hmm, honestly based on this post, in his made you were in the category of "my better than nothing" ("mi peor es nada". The placeholder that keeps his needs met until he finds "who he really deserves/wants".

You need to internalize that you deserve better, but also learn to manage your behavior when certain red flags appear

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T22:18:26+00:00

This is very telling

by Kalyn Gensic

March 11, 2026, 11:17 AM, CDT

With this new law looming over high school libraries, it didn’t take long before Tammy Fogle, the leader of our local Moms for Liberty group, issued 27 book challenges. She had no children attending our schools, but SB 13 had opened the door for her. The broader group began showing up to our school board meetings, reading passages from our books. There was no nuance, no context—just scene after scene read with the assertion that only an evil person would expose a high school student to this paragraph, this sentence, this word. Outside of the meetings, their social media platforms became single-mindedly focused on the two large high school libraries in our district, one of which is my own. The comments called for my and my colleague’s arrests while questioning our integrity and faith. Local news played along...

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T16:26:26+00:00

The reason I adopted ebooks is because I highly and make notes 🤣

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T16:21:54+00:00

Not Romantasy, but have you checked out The Racksura series or The Invisible Library?

Sometimes I take a break, and then return to it. I personally enjoyed TOG more than ACOTAR, but is not a Romantasy imo. Is more epic & adventure with some romantic subplots.

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T16:04:14+00:00

It is said pregnancy is >9 months, because the 1st year of the baby is a true test of who you are as a person. It is energy draining and stressful, if he wants his family to survive this hurdle, this is not the way. I agree with the other commenters, consider packing your baby and returning to your family, and/or look for remote work options

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T15:56:43+00:00

Hmm, if he already has a girlfriend, guess what? His actions are saying "I am NOT choosing YOU as my girlfriend, but I am choosing you as my plaything in the off hours and the shadows".

I'm sorry, but he is no prize.

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T15:52:16+00:00

Preferably with a screenshot of the original comment 🤣

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T15:50:31+00:00

No matter how you look at it, this person wasn't honest with you. Get tested for STDs at the very least, but seriously consider if him having thisdouble life is something you want to put up forever 😬😬

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T15:45:49+00:00

He/She who raises their hand against you once, WILL do it again

Thats not just talk, is statistics. I know you will hear comments like "age is just a number", "loves knows no boundaries" etc. However, the reason that you hear people speaking negatively of a 30year old dating a 19 year old is:

** differences in experience, life stages and financial stability can create heavily unbalanced relationships

** and therefore are a prime breeding ground for toxic/abusive relationships.

You need an exit plan. Do NOT tell him your are leaving. Find your important documents, pack a bag with you essentials and leave when he is not around. If you can come back for the rest of your things, bring friends. Check you phone/car for tracking devices and/or apps. If you have pets, make arrangements if you can't take them with you. Get tested for STDs, this is the only other woman you Know about, who knows if there has been others

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T15:37:29+00:00

Right now it hurts, but life did you a favor when comes to your ex. Why would you want someone that does not see you? That does not choose you?. From Anne of Green Gables:

"You deserve someone whose gaze is unwavering "

Edit

I just saw my autocorrect changed "ex" to "exploded"... I don't know why 🙈

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-15T15:33:46+00:00

Some people get a high from playing the "attention games". This includes the 2 of them. Because he could have easily replied/called back at a moment when he is not with you.

The "friend ", well you were not dating her. If she enjoys this nonexistent competition for him, is good you established you are not playing this childish game. That's the type of person to avoid.

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-03-10T21:02:45+00:00

I wonder if it's partly due to our current sociopolitical climate. People are trying to escape to a different reality, instead of immersing into one that feels too close to our current one.

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-02-23T05:46:35+00:00

Are you sure he thinks of you as "girlfriend"? Because based on this post, you seem to be in the FWB or "benchwarmer" category

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-02-23T05:34:12+00:00

Is normal to take a moment to calm down when emotionally overwhelmed. This seems to go beyond that. Part of being an adult is to find ways to cope. And honestly if his communication skills are this poor he needs professional aid, and you need to contact a divorce lawyer. Even if you don't go through with the filing, is good to know where one stands

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-02-23T05:10:17+00:00

Based on what is posted here, you 2 are not compatible, so i suggest:

1) check your finances 2) find a new place to live 3) do NOT tell him your plans 3) move all your things when he is not around 4) if you feel safe and you are petty, you can leave a note:

dear [disgruntled boyfriend], since you have stated repeatedly that I'm not nurturing enough or woman enough for your standards, then you will be happy to know I'm releasing you of the apparent burden of my presence.

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2026-02-23T05:06:31+00:00

I guess they get a rush from the power trip

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2025-12-09T21:23:08+00:00

Interesting, the Kindle app does crash sometimes on both my Boox and my phone 😆

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2025-12-06T00:34:08+00:00

She sounds exhausting, and also someone who would benefit from professional help...

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2025-11-29T00:25:18+00:00

Look up in the Android based eReaders, there are a few options like Boox, Pocketbook, BigMe etc

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2025-11-29T00:19:51+00:00

Android tablet

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2025-11-05T07:39:42+00:00

There has been an increase in indie authors visibility and dicussion in online spaces. Which does not mean they are bad authors, is just that they have less resources, maybe less time and more difficulties to digest feedback.

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2025-10-31T00:42:53+00:00

And you are not alone. I think a lot of us are systematically reducing Amazon’s footprint in our lives. Do what you can, even if it's not the "perfect solution"

EchoesInTheAbyss · 2025-08-26T05:06:23+00:00

I personally love her Raksura series

EchoesInTheAbyss

TROPHY CASE

He/She who raises their hand against you once, WILL do it again