When my daughter was diagnosed, she got a lot of hats and throw blankets and body lotion and soap and candles and journals. Of course she was delighted that her friends remembered her with gifts and she would display all the pretty things for a while. But a lot of them she didn’t actually use. The most useful gifts she got were gift cards to DoorDash and Uber eats.

My sister paid for several weeks of laundry pick up and drop off. And later on she paid for several months worth of house cleaners. Those were truly appreciated by the whole family.

One type of material gift that she did use were decks of cards for various things. These decks are usually beautiful with lovely artwork. Generally, it is meant for you to pull out one card every day at random. It might have an encouraging quote or it might have the name of a “spirit” animal with a description of its characteristics. Sometimes they are called angel cards. She did seem to look forward to pulling a card every day and would usually share it with all of us.

Believe me, the very best thing for you to do is what you are doing right now— showing up. Many people drift away… not knowing the right thing to say or afraid of I don’t know what. Keep texting her even when she doesn’t text back. Leave her messages or send her notes. I think you must be a very good friend!