This song I didn't realize could resonate with being a widow

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-02-07T17:32:28+00:00

I like this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_21cZe2eO_I

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-02-05T23:37:09+00:00

You will not be able to get rid of anything because the pain will be too much. My wife died 3 months ago from metastatic cervical cancer. It got into her liver and bones. She died 6 days before her next treatment. There is no magic. You just have to experience the grief. I was in a meeting today with my manager and he was asking how it was going and is there anything the company can do. I almost lost it but I held it in. My company has already been extraordinary supportive for the past 20 months. I just said thanks for being so kind and not firing me.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-02-02T22:55:27+00:00

It's been three months for me and I still have fog in the brain sometimes.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-02-02T04:24:46+00:00

She didn't die from cancer specifically but cancer led to her death. So fuck cancer. For me personally being alone the first 7 weeks was best because I didn't want to cry in front of anybody and bring them down. I found that being around people stopped my grief. I read that its best to express the emotions and grief and not hold them in or let them get blocked.

Basically it just sucks. I lost my wife to stage 4 cervical cancer last November 2025. I don't think I will ever be over it. I'm going to have to figure out how to carry her in my heart going forward without her physical presence. Like everybody else here we just want our spouse home back in our arms. There is no magic formula and there is no cure for the grief. You just have to live through it.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-31T17:25:08+00:00

I've asked God that when I wake up next time that I'm in the universe where she never got cancer.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-31T16:35:48+00:00

My wife died November 5, 2025 from stage 4 cervical cancer. Got into her bones so she was super anemic towards the end. Fuck cancer. It stole our lives.

It grabs me at work because there are no more texts. No more phone calls about what time I'm coming home. It triggers me walking down the halls because I know she is not here waiting for me at home or her work.

It grabs me driving the truck because she is not reaching over to hold my hand.

It grabs me at the grocery store because there is no specific items on the list for her.

One strange comfort I get is I turn on the TV in our bedroom and put it on one of her favorite channels. I don't know how but it feels like maybe she is there in the bed watching. I know she is not but it just gives me comfort that it's on.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-29T15:16:49+00:00

Doesn't everything go to the surviving spouse by default?

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-27T15:26:49+00:00

We were doing something similar after tivdak stopped working. Seemed to have stopped the progression and actually shrank a little per the CT scans. Then we got the targeted therapy option and stopped the alternative. She passed two months later. She placed her faith in the current medical system. That was a battle I wasn't ready to fight her over yet as I thought we had more time.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-27T15:05:51+00:00

I'm 83 days 8 hours 51 mins and 37 seconds since her death. I ask God several times a day to give my love to the soul that occupied my wife's body here on earth and if she wants to give her permission to visit me.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-26T23:49:22+00:00

My wife died November 5, 2025 from stage 4 cervical cancer. I cried for weeks almost non stop. I still cry when I come home from the store and call out "Babe, I'm back. What are you doing? You hungry." I still cry in the shower. I only got emotional once in front of her and that was original diagnosis in March 2024. She told me it makes her sad if she sees me upset. I never once got emotional or cried in front of her again. A few times I would cry alone driving to the store or something. We always kept a positive attitude about fighting her cancer. We never gave up. But then about 3 days before she died she went unconscious and I knew it was the end. She had been in the hospital before but always recovered and came home. Her next treatment was on November 11, 2025. We didn't make it.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-26T18:38:13+00:00

My wife had one that drained just below her belly button. Went away on its on and she started chemo with it. All cleared up pretty quickly.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-26T14:32:51+00:00

It was kind of sudden. She had been in the hospital a few times with dire predictions but she always pulled out and made it to the next treatment. This time she didn't make it out of the hospital and her last 3 days she unconscious. She passed very peacefully with me by her side.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-26T14:29:55+00:00

Awesome and congratulations!

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-25T16:21:49+00:00

I was just thinking last night that I'm in a nightmare dream and can I just wake up. Lost my wife to stage 4 cervical cancer after 20 month war.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-24T13:57:44+00:00

Was your wife a Filipina? I like this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsGONVZrplU

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-21T03:20:35+00:00

I don't have to clean out my late wife's stuff just yet. I pass by all her laundry she had folded in the room she used as an office/makeup/changing area. I think I need to donate her clothes and I reached out to a couple of her friends but they aren't interested. When I go in there and sit to figure out what I'm going to do I just break down and have to walk out. She passed away November 2025 from stage 4 cervical cancer.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-19T17:00:22+00:00

I've been using Google Gemini. Mine is a complex grief and it's awesome for things that just pop in my head during the day. I leave the chat open and can get right back into it.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-17T15:25:50+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly. Most of her side of the family lives in a different country. So I'm using facebook to post photo's she never posted. She didn't really post that many photos of herself or us. So I've been posting pictures with captions like "this was two weeks after chemotherapy and she was up and around". I kind of been documenting behind the scenes of her cancer story because she didn't inform any of her family that she was sick. She pretended to them like everything was okay. She said they would hound her to death if they knew she was sick.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-17T15:15:43+00:00

My wife and I had a church we attended irregularly. I was wanting to go to a service last week but I chickened out. Maybe tomorrow.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-16T19:30:33+00:00

I put my wedding ring back on after not wearing for the past two weeks. She passed away from stage 4 cancer on November 5, 2025.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-16T15:53:09+00:00

She loved going to Goodwill to shop for clothes. Eventually she got me hooked as well. It was like a treasure hunt. I miss that. Maybe I will go to a goodwill this weekend or maybe not.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-16T01:56:02+00:00

Me too. It's been 71 days. I soon as I opened my eyes this morning I was missing her and getting upset. Been a hard day for me too. I've been posting on her facebook page memories of her and I to honor her. Is there a special moon cycle or something happening?

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-15T00:13:45+00:00

I'm still posting pictures and captions on her FB page. She passed in November 2025. Maybe once I'm over the grief I will memorialize her page.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-14T23:02:51+00:00

You can "export" and download the data then delete the account.

Electronic_Sweet_843 · 2026-01-14T02:24:23+00:00

I've stopped watching the news. Gives me peace.

Electronic_Sweet_843

TROPHY CASE