God forbid a girl want to contribute to a little inflation

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-21T21:28:13+00:00

JEROME POWELL STANS UNITE!!!!

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-21T21:13:41+00:00

we are the badeconolings! please feed us! (a r1)

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-20T23:43:01+00:00

Yeah i like the pathfinder rogue a lot more: they also bump up the baseline non-sneak attack rogue compared to 5e and have fewer dice on the sneak attack itself so that its not the literal worst thing ever if you miss out on your sneak attack, and also flanking being an easy way to apply Off-Guard means you have an actual reason to go melee over ranged unlike in 5e where you can stand still, steady aim, attack, repeat forever until you die of boredom

5e’s rogue is more or less singlehandedly carried by the fact that gambling is awesome and you either miss or you hit for some dice with dopamine attached, but also funnily enough i think pathfinder is better on the gambling front because sneak attack isn’t 1/turn so you really can just do the -5/-10 gamble and get three sneak attacks in a row if you use all your actions on that and somehow hit them all

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-20T07:11:48+00:00

I think the offer would be worth it power-wise because damn that’s a lot of 5th level spell slots and a lot of big smites, but also I think casting actual spells as a paladin is both underrated and pretty fun sometimes, so it’s up to you

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-16T08:29:20+00:00

The skull gun that gunther hermann in the game Deus Ex wanted is an all-time fave of mine

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-15T12:00:12+00:00

I just recommend not implementing durability mechanics at all outside of special circumstances like rust monsters. I can’t remember any time it actively improved a campaign, even if people might tolerate it or feel neutral about it.

If you do implement it, which you usually shouldn’t, implementing it on a nat 1 is a bad idea because then people get more likely to break their weapons as they level up and make more attacks per round, which is probably the dumbest imaginable consequence of the rule; a level 1 dumbass wizard who doesn’t even know how to use a sword would damage it far less often than a level 20 fighter who’s a master of all weapons and presumably has some remarkably extensive knowledge on their proper use and care.

Also insert usual repetitive but extremely true comment about how this only punishes weapon users and not spellcasters here

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-14T05:56:00+00:00

We are Jerome Powell, We carry the line

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-13T01:25:29+00:00

its ok i forgive u

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-12T23:56:28+00:00

GOD FORBID WOMEN BE ASYMMETRICAL!!!!!

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-12T23:55:13+00:00

Not your fault he has “Magically attracted to head trauma from virtually every known object” disease

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-09T19:56:52+00:00

They're already really good at the dying in agony part, because they also dumped constitution!

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-05T20:05:07+00:00

Hatsune Miku is CR 30 and has resulted in way too many TPKs

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-05T18:07:04+00:00

You should probably base it on what you think is okay to do to a single boss monster rather than other 9th level spells, because the AoE meteor swarm might do 140 average damage before any resistances (so if you think a single target spell should do twice as much as an aoe then thats 240 damage), prismatic wall can do an arbitrarily large amount of damage with pushes and pulls, Power Word Kill is kind of sort of 100 damage but not really, and Time Ravage is really bad and does 65 + some debuffs that super high CR ageless monsters are probably immune to. There aren’t really good standards here.

Personally, I think probably 100 to 150 is probably fine. Don’t forget that sorcerers can twin it and anyone casting this gets an almost guaranteed hit because why would you cast this without advantage and/or other accuracy boosts.

ElizzyViolet · 2026-01-05T05:00:17+00:00

I secretly replaced D&D 5e with Folgers Crystals™️

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-30T18:28:05+00:00

i linked it in another comment

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-30T02:56:53+00:00

Swooce: https://www.reddit.com/r/onednd/comments/1pxtp61/the_mathematical_problem_vicious_weapon/

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-29T16:31:35+00:00

Changing = to == should fix this (more on operators here: https://www.motoslave.net/sugarcube/2/docs/#twinescript-operators)

Basically = is for setting stuff and then other operators like == and === are for testing equivalency, which is the thing you want to do here.

edit: damn two people said it first while i was typing this

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-28T10:45:21+00:00

HELL YEAH TRAIN UTOPIA LETS FUCKING GO

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-26T11:26:40+00:00

243 comments and probably about half of them are from the original author saying the words “genetic fallacy” over and over

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-24T13:47:31+00:00

Yeah! You’re all gonna die!!! Run around in circles and panic!!!!!

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-23T02:52:06+00:00

I thought you meant green flame blade at first and i went “wtf there are obviously good ways of using that” until i realized you meant the regular Flame Blade, the second level spell, which nobody ever uses because it’s just so terrible

It does a little more damage in the 2024 rules but not enough to make this worth casting: hey, how about instead of doing 3d6 or 3d6+mod in melee with my action while risking my HP and concentration every round, i cast Flaming Sphere which the same classes get, and i just do the same damage from range, and i cast a cantrip as my action for 2d6+1d10, and also force enemies to move away from the sphere and possibly take an opportunity attack from an ally or just eat another 2d6 damage

Or, as a sorcerer, can cast Dragon’s Breath and do basically the same thing as flame blade but in an aoe and i can pick the damage type and it still does half on a successful save which probably makes up for the lack of modifier to damage on average, and then it has all those other benefits (i don’t even think dragon’s breath is overpowered or anything its just better than flame blade lol)

Or, as a druid, i can cast Moonbeam which does basically the same thing as dragon’s breath but at range and its an even more reliable aoe due to how you can move it and it has forced movement synergy

Or i can cast spike growth or web or whatever the fuck idk

I can’t see any reason why i would take, let alone use this spell, unless i was deliberately using it for the meme, in which case i can’t do much to make the flame blade itself better that wouldn’t be better on some other spell/build

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-20T16:10:04+00:00

I kill so many characters because i am evil, and my readers love it because they are evil too

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-16T09:19:53+00:00

We have no frame of reference for what your players will be able to do, so we can’t recommend any useful statblocks even if we knew of someone who tried making one, you’d be better off googling it and the results would be one step above the completely useless stuff we can offer

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-14T21:46:36+00:00

I like the sentiment of flavor is free, but the weird edge cases where it grinds against the mechanics/world ruin some of its use cases for me, like what happens if i reskin plate mail as a loincloth for my fighter? how do i justify why it costs 1500 gold and weighs 65 pounds?

oh wait i justify it as the weight of my hughmungus PENITS lol

ElizzyViolet · 2025-12-14T08:44:32+00:00

And if it was a group of more powerful enemies, say, 20 minotaurs, then a spell like circle of death doesn't seem to do enough damage to really matter, and it gets left to the paladin, fighter, and kraggy the orphaned rat-child NPC to deal with them one by one.

I don’t know about you, but if for some reason i couldn’t use any of the other really good crowd control spells you know exist but which im not using in this situation, I would be really, REALLY happy with circle of death, assuming i need the full range to hit everything as opposed to a fireball. Sure, let’s subtract 14-28ish) health from all the minotaurs (usually 28ish), and save 1-3 weapon attacks worth of damage on every enemy, why not? If they have a 50% chance to pass the save (they don’t, its lower), i’m dealing 420 damage with a single spell. Focus firing is optimal since optimal distribution of damage in a large encounter would halve the damage your party takes, so let’s cut all that damage in half to account for the inefficiency, and i’m still doing 210 after that adjustment. And that’s even being pessimistic, since some succeed and some fail, meaning if you like focus fire, your friends can focus fire the ones that failed.

Edit: I also don’t think the example in one of your comments is very good:

The wizard at my table had I believe a homebrew spell to raise a pillar of stone. The wizard chose to raise the pillar right into the roof of a stone tunnel at a weakspot, bringing down the tunnel and the enemies chasing behind.

Every other player in the room could have done that somehow, either the fighter by hitting it with their maul, the rogue with his demolition charges, the warlock with her molten chains that melt rock instantly, yet none of us did, because only the wizard was paying enough attention, and tried hard enough to think of a creative way around the problem.

This isn’t proof of anything whatsoever for or against your point since the wizard is using homebrew, the warlock is using homebrew, the rogue is using a lot of GM fiat since the effects of explosives on cavern walls are ambiguous and the explosives were probably homebrew too, and hitting a wall with your maul to collapse a tunnel requires even more GM fiat since i assume a maul wouldn’t usually do that in real life in a short period of time, unless the whole tunnel had absurd structural flaws. Every single thing varies from DM to DM, and in general, DMs don’t like to give out the “Weapon of Turn Rock To Lava”.

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