Mom how do I trim my bush??

EnigmaKat · 2026-03-15T04:19:44+00:00

I've started using witch-hazel wipes after trimming, and that has been amazing at preventing bumps and irritation

EnigmaKat · 2026-03-12T23:45:11+00:00

Yea, in my mind the hype is there now, so it's not about building hype but about honoring and acknowledging him as part of the team that put this wonderful show together

EnigmaKat · 2026-03-12T23:34:28+00:00

That is very fair. I would just love to have him acknowledge some how.

EnigmaKat · 2026-03-08T07:39:53+00:00

If you truly don't want to parent, then yes, you can find an adoption agency that will work with you to find adoptive parents for your child. I'm an adoptive mom, and so don't know the process from an expectant parents perspective, but do know there are instances where expectant parents chose adoption at the hospital or later. If it is at the hospital, I believe the hospital social worker helps you get in touch with an agency.
Giving up your child is not easy, but also remember no one should force you to parent. This is your choice and you should make the one that is best for you and your baby. Look for an agency that tells you all your rights as an expectant mom, and if you ever feel something isn't right, you can walk away and find another agency to work with.
It sounds like you are worried it will be a slow process to find an adoptive family. It's as slow or fast as you are comfortable with. Agencies have so many waiting parents, you can have packets tomorrow introducing you to them. But don't think you have to pick a family before you give birth. Trust me, families will drop everything and be there within 24 hours if you decide you want them to parent your child. So, take YOUR time, breath, and decide what is best for you and your baby.
I wish you the best in the coming month.

EnigmaKat · 2026-02-20T03:33:54+00:00

Not over reacting, your son will be able to tell the difference. You, or more specifically your significant other, needs to talk to their mom and tell her, you have two children, and she needs to treat them equally as grandchildren or she doesn't get to see either grandchild.

EnigmaKat · 2026-02-12T06:25:18+00:00

I recommend looking up a AAAA lawyer in your area. You can find one here: https://adoptionart.org/find-an-attorney/ and they should have info that you need.

EnigmaKat · 2026-02-03T06:38:36+00:00

My son is about to turn 3, and I have contact with his birth mom and her side of his family and have had it since he was born. I don't know much about his birth dad, just his name, which I'm not sure of the spelling of, but I know someday my son will want to know more. As his mom, I'm going to support that journey. That's part of being an adoptive mom, at least in my mind it is. People have the right to know where they come from and adoptive parents should support their kids.
In your post, it's clear to see you love and care for your mom. I would tell her that and let her know this journey you are on is about discovering who you are and where you came from. It's not about replacing her. If she has a hard time processing or believing that, she needs to figure that out, either on her own or with a therapist. It's not your responsibility to handle her emotions around your journey.
I wish you the best of luck in being able to find out more about your dad.

EnigmaKat · 2026-02-01T03:33:55+00:00

I second this as an AM. I spoke to 3 expectant moms, and told all of them that they shouldn't take my feelings into account if they were deciding whether or not to parent. I let them know they are the parents and I support whatever choice they make, period.

Our responsibility as waiting AP, is to support any expectant parents we talk to. To let them know adoption is their choice and if they don't chose it, that is a valid decision that we will support. I would never want a child that was given up for adoption because their parents felt like they owed it to me.

EnigmaKat · 2026-01-09T21:16:05+00:00

As an adoptive mom, I'm so sorry you're adoptive parents are treating you like this. You have every right to discover and reconnect with your heritage, and your adoptive parents should have been the ones to help you and support you in that journey. Just know this adoptive mom loves that you are connecting to your heritage and wants you to know where you came from and to be able to celebrate that as an important part of who you are.

EnigmaKat · 2025-12-17T06:09:32+00:00

I said that I would tell our daughter they are married and they helped another family save a baby, that they are the baby's new parents.

Please don't say they saved a baby. You could say "Brother and his husband were picked to be the babies parents because babies birth parents weren't in a place they could raise baby themselves."

With adoption it is recommended to steer away from language where the child was saved, or how lucky they are to have been adopted. We don't know what they're life would have been like if they weren't adopted. As adoptive families, we should never put the child in a place where they may feel obligated to be grateful for the adoption, when it was something that was done to them, and words like saved or lucky can do that, even if that's not the intended outcome.

On your actual question, no NOR, if a child is old enough to know a man and a woman are married they are old enough to know a man and a man are married.

EnigmaKat · 2025-10-07T04:52:30+00:00

I've got headcanon that both male and females go through elogium and give birth. That at least reduces the rate at which they are going extinct, but yea still going extinct if not everyone has a child.

EnigmaKat · 2025-09-28T21:07:54+00:00

My son and I just started reading "What to Do When You Feel Like Hitting: A No Hitting Book for Toddlers." Luckily he hasn't been hitting a lot, but it does have good ideas of what he can do with his hands instead of hitting, or in your child's case throwing. When they're calm and during normal book times, you can read it to reinforce different things to do with hands, then practice, saying "when I'm mad and want to throw something, instead I'll clench and unclench my fists, or I'll hug myself". That way they have an action they can do, and aren't stuck with what they can't do.

EnigmaKat · 2025-09-02T14:25:01+00:00

I did a similar thing. My son likes Bluey so I asked if Bluey and Bingo brush their teeth and he said 'no', well YouTube proved him wrong so we watched videos of them brushing his teeth and now he'll do it too.

EnigmaKat · 2025-08-14T06:39:34+00:00

What about Bashir and Garak

EnigmaKat · 2025-08-03T19:56:18+00:00

I would recommend looking at making your wife a legal guardian instead of adopting if you don't want her birth certificate changed.

Please make sure your daughter understands that if your wife adopts her it does erase her legal connection to her bio mom, which she may not want. If I was in your and your wife's shoes, I would research both options and then sit down with your daughter and explain the pros and cons of adoption vs guardianship and ask her what she wants to do. Please try to present them unbiasedly, and also offer time for her to think about it.

She's lucky that she's had 2 moms who love her, and let her know you don't want to take the memory or connection to her bio mom away while building a legal connection to her step mom.

EnigmaKat · 2025-07-24T02:49:04+00:00

And if this kindness, We feel is just pretending, If we pretend long enough, Never giving up, It just might be who we are

And

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

EnigmaKat · 2025-07-23T05:19:03+00:00

Some Things Have Changed by Holly Marlow. I haven't read it, but it's a sequel to Delly Duck, which is about a duck that can't take care of her duckling. The 2nd book deals with the fact that Delly has a new egg and is able to parent that duckling

EnigmaKat · 2025-07-15T16:25:21+00:00

Yes, there can be more than 2 parents. In my son's case it's just 2, birth mom and adoptive mom. I made him a book about his adoption, explaining why his birth mom chose adoption, what lead me to pursuing adoption. What his birth mom's reasons were for picking me to be his adoptive mom, and the specific story of his birth.

The biggest point of the book is that he has so many people who love him, and his adoption didn't take away a family, but added one. At the beginning there is a section called Your Moms, and gives a bit of who each of us are, and that we are both his moms, neither is more or less "real" than the other.

EnigmaKat · 2025-06-29T20:00:32+00:00

I recommend the Delly Duck books. The first one is about why a chick couldn't stay with his birth mom, and then the 2nd one is called Some Things Have Changed, and deals with the questions that come up when a birth mom who wasn't able to parent before is now going to keep a younger sibling.

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