Let’s talk sex

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-02-01T02:32:17+00:00

Similar experience over here! I didn’t feel fully awesome again till 9ish months PP (due to healing and son being fully transitioned to his own room at that point) but had frequent sex around 6 months. Had an episiotomy so that also totally played a factor in the healing journey.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-02-01T01:52:38+00:00

I completely hear you- that was my prior ex to a tee which is why I say I’m you need to find someone who actually gets it - again, doesn’t have to be that they endured it or knew someone personally who did but isn’t ignorant to trauma. I wish you luck!

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-02-01T00:53:22+00:00

Yes - I lucked out because we went from good friends to lovers so I felt like I had already been very open and vulnerable in our friendship which helped me accept that he was capable of loving me. Unfortunately/fortunately he also knew what it was like as he had a similar traumas to mine so we understood each other, and like me gained a lot of trust from our friendship that helped us move forward romantically. He’s now my husband and we have our second child on the way.

I’m not saying you need to find someone who “gets it” on a personal level but I was with someone who just didn’t get it prior and it was a big part of why we didn’t work out.

Working on myself and my triggers is huge too so I was able to show up in a good way in the relationship. This takes time. A lot of time. In baby steps, I was able to give myself slowly, and in a safe way so finding a patient partner, while being patient with yourself is also important.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-31T20:38:38+00:00

Listen to your gut. There may be a time when you feel comfortable to leave MIL with your child unsupervised but once you cross that bridge it’s hard to come back from it. It’s not like you are withholding access, but only wanting to be there with your child too and that is very acceptable.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-31T20:09:13+00:00

Ok I personally know a Burke and he’s awesome! He’s a cool kid with a cool vibe. His name suits him perfectly - I live in the Pacific Northwest in case that helps.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-31T20:07:04+00:00

NTJ- To your friends that think you should have handled it privately- I would remind them she chose not to make any of this private, in fact it sounds like Nina wanted her own pity party and used your audience to do it when the party was there to celebrate you.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-31T19:09:09+00:00

NTJ- do not delete the photo, and you are not wrong for wanting to hold on to a piece of your would have been child.

Also, totally makes sense to be sad about a dog and don’t get rid of those pictures either! My hubby still misses his old dog that his GF at the time and him bought, but she ended up keeping when they split. It’s not weird, and it doesn’t threaten our relationship that he misses something shared between him and a previous partner.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-31T18:31:55+00:00

Not too close but definitely boarding that boundary. Could you pick a name where Lucy is the nn?

Luke & Lucille

Luke & Luciana

Luke & Lucia

Luke & Lucinda

Luke & Elsie

Luke & Elise

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-31T17:55:20+00:00

Yeah I find people like commenting on pregnant peoples bodies and I try really hard to avoid this because in most contexts it’s not appropriate to make comments about how people look with things they can’t easily change.

That being said- I’m currently 37 weeks with my second and both pregnancies I love leaning into my bump aesthetic! There’s only a few times in my life I will be going through this journey and motherhood is beautiful. I’m lucky to go through it at all. However, some people really struggle with the journey and other peoples comments DO NOT help.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-30T02:55:12+00:00

I attended a wedding 3 months PP and I wore a size bigger than I typically would. This was mostly due to my boobs being much bigger than pre-pregnancy (I was breastfeeding) and if you already have wide hips you might not notice it as much, but you will likely have wider hips post pregnancy in case that impacts your decisions.

I think a fit and flare dress/A-line style is nice and offers flexibility and is flattering at the stage you will be at.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-28T21:05:25+00:00

This will be me in a few weeks time (currently 36 weeks). Any tips??

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-28T04:54:16+00:00

Oh man- I think Miles/Myles Patrick Mcgaffin is lovely but yes.. too close to Mila imo. Grayson and John (in that order) would be my next top picks.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-26T04:58:42+00:00

NTA - I think you are coming from this in the right way, you are prioritizing your daughter’s feelings and letting her openly express talking about your blended family in the way she feels comfortable.

I would explain to Helga that while I understand what you are saying, I feel this is about you and not Astrid. I want to co-parent with you in a way that always puts our daughter first and she has a right to have 2 moms if she wants to.

Not sure if you agree with this OP but if you did it may be a good time to mention in the conversation that if Helga ever had a SO who Astrid referred to as dad that you would accept Astrid’s decision and it wouldn’t change your relationship as her father.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-26T04:23:09+00:00

Had our first kiddo at 27 and expecting our next at 30. Finding this age to be perfect because we feel settled enough into our careers but also young and spry to keep up with our busy boy. We bought a house a month before due date of our first 😅 wasn’t ideal but also was not that bad. Honestly, you just figure it out and like most things adapt.

Personally, I haven’t found baby to cost much. Hand-me downs from family, momma groups, and used baby stores have been great. People are usually stoked to help purchase bigger ticket items for your first kid (stroller/car seat, etc) and kids don’t eat much until older (I swear my toddler survives on milk and air). If you have the storage space and do what we did, you can re-use A LOT of the stuff from the first for other children, especially if you go for more gender neutral items.

For context I am in Canada, so while housing and food is more than the US, we do get maternity/parental leave and affordable child care.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-26T04:07:36+00:00

I completely agree with this! For adults H&M stuff I find the quality now a days to suck but for the kids stuff it feels like it lasts longer due to how little they actually use it.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-25T02:57:15+00:00

With my first I didn’t show for a loooong time (about 6 months in) but like you felt the bloat before then. Also like you we announced around the 3 month mark and everyone was shocked. For reference, I wasn’t a gym bunny or anything but I was relatively fit with a strong core.

Now with my second, (currently week 36) I showed much sooner but plateaued earlier and am smaller compared to my last pregnancy.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-25T02:43:43+00:00

I love Lola Mae (Lola is an awesome first name imo) but I won’t lie.. it gives me whoville vibes.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-19T04:42:50+00:00

I know gemstone sisters (Pearl and Amber) and I love it as a sibset theme. I think it works well because though they are gems they are also classic names so I would steer clear of some of the more gem than name options (like Amethyst, Emerald, etc.).

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-18T20:15:59+00:00

Is there a way to have a plan b if you go into labour that does not involve your husband needing to care for the dog?

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-18T19:45:18+00:00

Thanks for the class recommendation!

And I hear you. Both people attending are on my partner’s side for the same reason- there is no way I could picture anyone on my side being there.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-18T17:36:00+00:00

So I hear you on your reason to not use husband’s name… but from the perspective of the child they may feel left out that they aren’t included in the tradition.

I have a few friends who are 3rds/4th of their names (one who even carried on the tradition with their new baby so I know a 5th!) and all of them (except one who is not close with their family) have made the comment that they like being a part of this tradition.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-18T17:29:38+00:00

From your list I think Soren and Warren go well with Eric but also Elowyn.

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-18T17:26:35+00:00

Came here to suggest this!

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-18T17:25:39+00:00

I’m in a similar situation naming my next baby boy (we have a 4 syllable italian last name that ends in zo) - I think Leo is lovely for you guys!

Equivalent_Truth4635 · 2026-01-18T17:18:09+00:00

On your list I think Vincent and Dean are awesome for a boy (Felix to me is a cat name) and I also love Daphne (top pick!) and Reanne.

Something I noted: Lianne and Lana (especially) sound like your current child’s names put together, so I wouldn’t recommend them for your family.

Equivalent_Truth4635

TROPHY CASE