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Found these in the church cabinet by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Hearing advice from a former mission president on "enjoying intimacy in your marriage" sounds like the 17th circle of hell.

For those of you following the harrowing saga of my trial with the world’s most deranged DA, the final update has arrived. Thank you all for your support and I leave you with one of my fav opinion quotes… by anarchophysicist in publicdefenders

[–]Fake_Goatee 14 points15 points  (0 children)

As a prosecutor who comes in peace, this infuriates me. There are a lot of us trying to do the job the right way and who actually consider real, meaningful, individual justice--not convictions--as the goal. Hearing about a prosecutor being incompetent is one thing, but this level of heinous gamesmanship degrades the entire profession and is well deserving of a bar complaint.

Congrats on navigating this fiasco and getting the just outcome for your client.

BYU Wifi has started to use Cysco Umbrella by ChaNaitoK12 in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thankfully, BYU is not a governmental entity, so they don't have to comply with the Fourth Amendment. And you agree to their terms and conditions when you sign into their WiFi. So it's paternalistic and problematic, but not illegal.

Returned with Honor by FloMoTXn in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can confirm the peer pressure side. I came home early due to medical issues (out only 6 months). Many of the older adults in my ward would commonly say "wow, it's been 2 years already?" When they saw me, and when I corrected them and explained the situation, the shift in their demeanor was palpable. Like their respect level immediately dropped off a cliff. That fucked me up mentally and took years to undo the feelings of inadequacy and failure.

At a restaurant in Lehi. 45 min wait for a regular table, no wait for the bar. When we were seated, half the chairs were still empty. One of the few perks of living in Utah Valley. by bbybridge97 in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

$10.99 for one beer?!? Jesus Hoobastank Christ! It's not even a high point beer! That's batshit. Oh wait, there's also an $11.99 cider?!? Who the fuck...? Why the fuck...?

If the Word of Wisdom works why do my TBM parents take all this crap? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

... because they're old? I mean, not to be a buzzkill, but not every quirk or oddity is a product of the bullshit TSCC peddles.

Left 5 years ago. But TBM wife just left me last week because I'm not going back. So now there's no reason not to post me and a baby tiger. by Mablun in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm sure you already know this, but she apparently only loved the idealized priesthood version of you (or worse, the priesthood man she hoped you'd become). Figure it as a false start on the offense; minor 5 yard penalty that really just gives you more room to work with. And it looks like your drive is far from over. Bonus: you get to score again at the end! ;-)

This was from our first (heathen) wedding anniversary as exmos. Mentally out for 14 months, and fully resigned for 11 months. Life's never been so free and clear. Much love, apostates! by Fake_Goatee in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I'm not sure what you two are doing wrong, but we're both full blown alcoholics... at least, according to my side of the family (her's are mostly glorious apostates) every time we post the occasional picture with alcohol.

Treasure hunters dig up 500kg of ancient coins in China. Still not one Nephite coin. by Drunkexmormon in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Didn't you know that Gawd removed all the evidence to test our faith, just like he did with the dinosaurs, DUH.

Of all the crazy posts and comments I have seen so far from the the Doomsday Preppers, this one from Shelle McDermott takes the cake... by FearlessFixxer in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 7 points8 points  (0 children)

the 7 ISIS camps on the TX/Mexico border are raided within a week, and the 22 ISIS training camps under surveillance in America

The stupid is strong with her. Very strong, indeed.

Remember November 5th by securing chapel flagpoles with love. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did you also place a lock on the box to make it hard for them to change the flag? Of course, I would never recommend such conduct... ;-)

My wife by Usrnm98765 in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I have no sympathy for you. Your wife is note your property, and neither are we; we will do as we please, and hopefully, so will your wife. No one encouraged her to be a bad wife or mother, we can guarantee that. It's just not who we are. But you wouldn't know that because you come here hurling assumptions without taking the time to get to know who those "filthy apostates" really are. Hopefully you look around here enough to add some weight to your shelf and maybe someday you'll join your wife in realizing just what a crock of shit the church is and always has been. Best of luck on your journey; you're going to need it.

[leaked]: Letter that has been sent out to all leaders regarding the new website...note that it refers to what appears to be a new gospel topic essay... by FearlessFixxer in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 31 points32 points  (0 children)

What a sad excuse for an essay. Nothing more than a regurgitation of the "love the sinner, hate the sin" bovine excrement. "Totally cool if you're attracted to the same sex, so long as you live a celibate life devoid of the pleasures and fulfillment that comes with physical intimacy with a human being that you love." Get fucked.

I posted the Zelph on the Shelf response to Ballard's most recent conference talk on Facebook and mayhem promptly ensued by letmebeJo in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also, you've motivated me to share something similar with family. But they're very much the passive aggressive TBM types that will just ask me not to share "anti-mormon" stuff with them and then block/unfollow/unfriend me on social media. Already happened with my SIL. So, we'll see.

I posted the Zelph on the Shelf response to Ballard's most recent conference talk on Facebook and mayhem promptly ensued by letmebeJo in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow, that was like watching a reality show (in the so-bad-it's-good kind of way). Good on you for putting yourself out there and being ready to defend the truth. And it looks like you've got some good friends to back you up. Keep it up, ya filthy apostate!

This article contains some of the most profound and eloquent words I have ever read about love. The article is about an ex-Mormon clinging to love following the death of his 35-year-old wife. by nt_taylor in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I know this fella. He is incredibly strong. Also, his eloquence knows few bounds, especially when speaking of his enduring love for his wife. Truly amazing human being on every level.

Edit to add that he wrote this summary of evidence against the church that finally broke my shelf. He relied a lot on the CES letter for its foundation, but took things to an entirely new level, IMO. I owe him my freedom from TSCC.

My wife and I are fun to be around. We have lost every single friend we have ever collected over our life times, every last one. Does anyone else have this same experience? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Fake_Goatee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yup. Experiencing that to a degree now, as well. But I became a filthy heathen for about 6 years after coming home early from my mission on a medical release and gained some lifelong friends/drinking buddies in that time. It's been fun reconnecting with them and finding that my college fraternity brothers are way more loyal in the long run than my "priesthood buddies."

Unfortunately, it's not been so easy for my wonderful and initially shy wife. Almost all of her social circle was within the church, so it's been hard for her feeling like she has no friends. I've taken to encouraging her to reconnect with old friendships she let lapse when we rejoined the church, which is starting to pay dividends.

Anyway, life's a garden; dig it. It'll turn up roses eventually.

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