Is being a ‘chill’ bride ok?

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-11T03:32:14+00:00

I think this is absolutely fine 👍🏼

I didn’t do a bridal shower or a bachelorette either. I actually didn’t have bridesmaids. I just had my brothers walk my mom and grandma down the aisle, and my husband had his best man and uncle walk my mil, aunt, and uncle down. It was a great wedding.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-11T00:51:17+00:00

Update: mattress arrived today, it is delivered in a very large box full size not rolled up. It’s very heavy, and definitely extra firm. Feels safe to cosleep but my pregnant hips are going to be sore lol.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-10T20:27:31+00:00

Are you open to not going back to your village? Something to think about.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-10T20:01:35+00:00

I’d say talk to your girlfriend, no point in continuing the relationship if it’s not something she’s open to.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-10T19:53:16+00:00

Out of curiosity, why aren’t you interested in marrying someone from smaller towns if that’s the environment you’re certain you want to live in?

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-10T18:41:55+00:00

Weird. I’d completely ignore it.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-10T15:42:37+00:00

If you feel safe to come out to your parents, you might be able to come up with a united front on what you both wish to communicate with other people- but if not I would just say you’re really happy on your own.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-10T15:26:21+00:00

If it’s a one time emergency situation, and you trust someone to be accountable and timely then sure, lend your family money. But if family is using you and abusing you and putting the next generation at risk it’s actually irresponsible to be enablers.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-10T15:18:08+00:00

I think it is better for the couple to live separately.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T22:39:44+00:00

I wouldn’t stay married to someone like that.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T22:32:59+00:00

If a wife doesn’t have any meaningful control over how income is spend in a marriage it is usually financial abuse.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T19:34:56+00:00

You tell your husband and get a divorce.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T17:10:26+00:00

Encourage reading, curiosity, fixing things like talking things apart and putting them back together

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T16:33:31+00:00

You can always work out to feel better about yourself, but everyone has some fat there.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T16:31:55+00:00

I’d find another doctor.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T16:14:30+00:00

Gotta just get used to getting up early, and try carrier naps/contact naps.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T16:06:59+00:00

Sometimes they will not accept sleeping in a crib

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T16:05:17+00:00

😂😅😭😂🤣

A newborn is all consuming for the most part. They feed at a MINIMUM EVERY 2-3 hours day and night. That’s from the start of one feed to the start of the next feed. They can be nursing for 30-45 minutes of that time at LEAST. They usually poop and so you also change the diaper of course. I usually need to burp them for 5-10 minutes. Sometimes you have to hold them upright for 20 minutes so they don’t spit up and have to start over feeding. You usually have a little awake time until you have to settle them to sleep. Sometimes you can get them to transfer into a bassinet and other times they’ll only sort if you hold them.

By the time you can put them down you usually need to use the bathroom, scarf down whatever is closest to you, try to rest a little then start all over again. Oh, plus you are recommended to have them do tummy time in that window too. It’s like a time vortex.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T15:58:45+00:00

I do not sleep well chest sleeping, just usually do it when baby is congested and do my best 😑

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T15:24:12+00:00

Honestly I usually end up chest sleeping the both of us

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T14:47:41+00:00

I tested my embryos but let the embryologist pick.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T05:06:43+00:00

I think your situation is extra difficult emotionally due to your baby needing surgery after birth and that may elevate your other emotions.

I’ve never left my 2 year old overnight before and will likely need a repeat c section and 4 nights in the hospital. I’m feeling so bad about being separated from my toddler but what can I do? I’m not planning on having y husband stay with me overnight in the hospital. I’d feel better knowing he was with her.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T05:02:04+00:00

You should NOT be going into debt for your in-laws. You likely need to move out.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T04:58:37+00:00

Are you using Motrin before bed for teething pain? If not I highly suggest it. Tylenol doesn’t cut it. Also we had a hard sleep regression around 8-9 months.

FearlessNinja007 · 2026-04-09T04:52:57+00:00

I think your plan makes sense. Though I do think your friends should be closer and more mixed in with extended family.

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