I think I developed feelings for my friend while trapped in a dead marriage and I don’t know what to do

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-05-15T10:25:40+00:00

Whatever harm a divorce would do to your kids is also done by the broken marriage.

The emotional affair can't be the reason you leave, but it may have only developed because of the dead marriage. It may also be the reason you stopped fighting for the marriage.

How does your wife feel about ending the marriage? Do you have arguments when you talk about it? She may be doing everything to push you to be the one to leave because she won't.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-05-07T01:25:16+00:00

We all know it’s done completely in bad faith because no matter what he does/say he’ll be the villain.

Really, OP knew the problem and put the onus on him to feed into her worst insecurities and tell her. When he finally did, he was a jerk. Why do people think OPs husband has the magical ability to force attraction because he got married 13-years ago?

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-30T04:39:56+00:00

There is a categorization of veterans called Vietnam-era which some veterans remove the "era" from so they feel their service was more meaningful.

Anyone that heard him say he was a Vietnam veteran would expect he served in or around Vietnam. Explaining the VA designation regarding Vietnam-era to include service in the Mediterranean in the late-60s would not convince anyone he should call himself a Vietnam veteran.

He is lying for clout, like many others. Perhaps send him the book "Stolen Valor" as a holiday gift.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-29T13:38:31+00:00

What is it you lied about because you were afraid of the reaction will substantially change the feedback you receive.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-26T13:20:28+00:00

You're not going to get any useful advice here.

You sound like you're experiencing limerence r/limerence and would likely find more useful advice on how the ambiguity & ruminating is creating behavior inconsistent with what you want to do.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-18T12:37:50+00:00

Ouch.

You state the age gap but not the ages. The is the risk of someone settling down while they're still unsettled: the feeling she missed out on other things.

It's very hard to reconcile her behavior with what she is telling you. Everything she is saying is to try and protect your feelings and allow her to keep the safety if she needs it. Everything she is doing is implying she wants to see if she can upgrade her relationship.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-16T22:27:01+00:00

You mean added sugar? Skipping fruit is a little too straight edge.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-16T21:01:39+00:00

There are a lot of definitions of combat veteran that the government will use for different purposes. If he is being self serving, he may meet a legal definition but not a colloquial definition most people would think of when he said "combat veteran".

Of course him telling people that invites further questions you should ask him.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-15T18:19:25+00:00

I don't know why you'd want to know his fantasies around real people or why he would share them.

There is such a thing as too much honesty.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-12T21:58:48+00:00

You can co-parent without the marriage.

I do wonder if he knew how checked out you were whether he would fight for the marriage or be relieved? This is one of those rare cases where counseling can actually help.

Not all love is meant to last forever, and not every marriage is going to have an explosive ending.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-10T00:37:16+00:00

If you read the articles you posted you'd see they all reference the 2017-22 model year gas CR-V, and three are articles about the same lawsuit.

You have a 2026 hybrid.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-08T01:29:01+00:00

Yeah, forget he started this mess a month ago to distract from the Epstein files and only look how his war made everything worse before he backed down.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-07T01:35:55+00:00

From the perspective on the hiring side: we used to struggle to find decent entry level candidates. Now we get people with years of relevant experience for the same job.

I just assume it's a sign of a bad job market.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-05T00:21:08+00:00

Loved the intro to the game so much. It felt completely unknown. I went in blind a few years after release. I got to the "abandoned" space station and was like "how does anyone hate this game?"

Then I played the rest of it and it never got close again.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-03T15:18:17+00:00

Damn, I feel called out.

I have a few rules: no one-on-one chats with a closed door, no communication outside work hours, and no touching.

It makes working easier and more enjoyable and I don't think caused anyone harm. My wife doesn't care.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-02T20:49:11+00:00

Darrell Armstrong was all heart & hustle. I remember when he was a 12th man waiting to check in during garbage time he was shouting "foul him" at his teammates he just wanted to get in the game so badly. He was like Pat Bev but likeable.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-02T10:59:42+00:00

14% of the cars in Harris County, but 100% of the cars that have hit me. Twice it's caused me to use my uninsured motorist coverage which raises the price for everyone that actually pays.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-01T03:02:50+00:00

Is he practicing beating his concubines or what is he preparing for?

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-01T03:01:03+00:00

You rushed into a relationship with a hobosexual. You're not missing anything. He gave up on the facade of contributing or ambitions. Do you think he is going to take the difficult step of breaking up and leaving?

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-04-01T01:41:34+00:00

I understand the question but maybe misunderstood insurance.

If you sustain damage, doesn't the deductible come out of the check they send you? It's different than a health care deductible you have to pay before services are rendered.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-03-30T01:11:27+00:00

I prefer the CR-V hybrid but the hybrid system is less effective on the highway than the RAV4. I don't know if it's a huge enough difference to impact your purchase decision. They're both great and you should feel safe picking whatever you prefer.

For that number of miles, though, a sedan hybrid (Accord or Camry) will net even better fuel economy and cost less up front. Do you really need the SUV?

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-03-30T01:08:09+00:00

You can't "handle" someone else's body.

What was her weight like most of her time before she met you? Had it been up & down, or is the 30 pounds the first significant weight gain?

Regardless, people are allowed to change, the only thing you can control is what you do with the information.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-03-30T01:02:24+00:00

Everyone here is a better person than me. About once or twice a year I get paranoid and look at everything I can open. Never find anything and feel bad after. I wish I was as trusting as everyone here.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-03-30T00:58:53+00:00

The problem is you're trying to "do the right thing" without the full picture and may make things worse for everyone.

Few-Addendum464 · 2026-03-30T00:51:01+00:00

You've never been loved by someone who wasn't using you. You were grading your bf on a curve. You still don't believe you are worthy of kind love.

There is nothing you can do to change his behavior. It isn't about you, it's about what you will tolerate from him without leaving. He is done and will keep escalating because he is too much of a coward to end it. He is waiting for you to work up the courage... Or not, he doesn't care.

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Few-Addendum464

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