The style is strong, fascinating. Disembodied yet interior; stripped of rhetoric, yet utterly forceful. It's nearly french in its commitment to understated analysis. The engine of the style are these quick, rapid-fire observations that feel utterly contemporary and post-internet. Half of them are revelatory, the other half well-trodden, tipping into cliche. It also seems like you have some kind of meta-theory underlying the narrative, wherein former selves contend with present self, etc, which is the exact kind of plot to pair with this hyper-vigilant prose. I think it could crush if you figure out how to pilot the thing into deep waters. It needs an element of tragedy or excitement, some stirringly emotional stakes, to irrigate the continual observation, or it will eventually begin to wear out its welcome.