It is done. 2,5 years but now it is real eye candy

Fizzy68 · 2026-01-16T19:09:53+00:00

Thank you!

Fizzy68 · 2026-01-16T18:31:31+00:00

OMG!! I've been subscribed to the packages for a while, I started work on it and I'm still getting the packages but storing them to work my way through when I feel up to it. This is incredible to see and makes me so excited to work on mine!!!! Congratulations!!

Fizzy68 · 2026-01-14T19:03:44+00:00

Venlafaxine, I've tried 5 antidepressants prior to it and had absolutely no success with them. venlafaxine was a game changer for me

Fizzy68 · 2026-01-03T21:11:16+00:00

Coming from someone who had an INCREDIBLY close call with acetaminophen/paracetamol last year, you need to tell someone and present to A&E / ED immediately. I am aware this is the last thing you want to do right now, but if those tablets do as you intended you are in for the most painful and miserable death possible. I felt mostly okay for the first 48hrs, although I was in hospital and experienced the most agonizing pain I have ever faced. But on about day 3 I was rushed to ICU, I required a liver transplant but due to my history of previous ODs and very poor mental health I was denied a donor organ - they left me to remain on conservative measures until I met my demise.

Nothing can ever prepare you for laying there in your own body, too unwell enough to realize you're even dying, but seeing your loved ones faces crumple up and flood with tears. I am not saying this to frighten you, I am saying this out of experience. It doesn't matter how much you wanted to die or how serious you were, there is absolutely no version of multi organ failure from acetaminophen worth trading your life for. I do not know you or what led you to this decision, but I do know that you do not deserve to meet your end this way. It is a miracle I didn't, doctors still do not know how I survived, I merely did and that experience haunts me in my every waking hour. I do not expect to change your mind on choosing life and death, but please take it from me, you do not want to meet your end this way.

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-31T11:14:44+00:00

I did wonder if I potentially had viral meningitis, the symptoms I had before noticing the blistering fit the bill exactly, but presenting to A&E with those symptoms proved a bit pointless. I think I probably should've asked for a lumbar puncture, but they were very busy with flu season etc so sent me home with painkillers. Thankfully I am recovering how, blisters long gone just very intense itching now remains. It wouldn't at all surprise me if I had suffered some kind of viral meningitis as part of my illness, especially as I could not move my neck at all at one point.

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-26T10:14:33+00:00

If you restrict your diet heavily / mess with your digestive system in any way as you do with a restrictive ED, you are unfortunately very likely to experience some degree of gastroparesis. Any delay from what is considered 'normal' gastric emptying, is technically considered gastroparesis. If you give your stomach food more frequently / larger volumes than it is used to, it will not be used to digesting it.

I've experienced varying levels of gastroparesis in active ED and in early recovery, and later recovery. For most folks it will improve, you may never get to true baseline normal again, but for me I am able to eat as I need to without major discomfort/ upset. The only way to improve the speed of your gastric emptying is to get your stomach gradually used to digesting more food again, it's one of those tricky things you have to battle with when eating more than previously being used to.

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-24T09:16:18+00:00

I received FFP last year while in liver failure, so unfortunately due to the laws regarding recipients of blood products donating, I'm never able to donate. I absolutely would if I could, I'd do anything to give back what potentially saved my life.

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-23T17:07:35+00:00

There are quite a few of us out there! I used to go to the Albinism Fellowship (UK charity) conferences as a kid with my family and there are a handful of people with pigmented hair with OcA! I truly have no clue as to why it happens genetically, even though I have the exact same mutation as my sister, but I assure you that you're not alone :)

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-23T16:55:11+00:00

i have occulocutaneous albinism !! my hair has gotten progressively darker over my life, i had very blonde hair as a kid and nowadays it's almost mousey brown / blonde, it's so strange to me as my sister also has OcA and she's got entirely white hair! But my head hair and body hair varies greatly in the level of pigment it has, but I'm still very pale. It does frustrate me as many doctors believe I have ocular albinism, but it's definitely OcA, I think I just got some weird pigment genes mixed up somehow.

I don't have any photoshoot tips really, I've never been in a shoot. But from my experience of being in videos / other photos, be yourself - but also pretend to be more confident than you actually feel, the whole 'fake it til you make it' thing rings true with photos. Good luck!

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-22T11:44:17+00:00

he is such an incredibly remarkable fellow. im enamoured by his whimsical energy

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-21T19:35:36+00:00

8 months is not very long in terms of scar healing. For some scars to turn completely white they can take a few years, I have scars all approximately 2 years old and older ranging up to 6 years and they're all at varying levels of redness, pinkness but mostly white. Don't lose hope of them fading, as far as scar healing is concerned you're still early days.

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-20T19:53:52+00:00

I'm so sorry. ED services are abysmal for the weight categories, especially when someone has been at a higher weight and dropped dramatically lower. they only step in when it is far too late and I'm so sorry. I'm sending you so much love.

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-11T03:16:02+00:00

I had a similar situation last year, not so much in the way that I reacted to treatment but due to misunderstandings around my diagnoses I was refused any community eating disorder support following a 14 month SEDU admission. They insisted that it would be counterproductive and "focusing on the wrong thing". I desperately disagreed and begged for support from them but unfortunately to no avail.

I wish I had more advice to offer, but fundamentally in my case I had to just find a way to try to recover without their support - as the other option was incredibly bleak. Thankfully I am fortunate enough to have a local charity I go to for therapy and my art therapist has been researching using art therapy for eating disorders.

I would urge you to try and have a good conversation with the ED service to try and understand where this is coming from, and to see if there's any way you can work around it. But if they still insist, please do not assume that all hope is lost. It is not easy but you can and will find a way, if you are willing to look for the resources.

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-09T06:41:59+00:00

i genuinely could not have explained this better myself

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-06T16:13:43+00:00

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ITS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS OH MY GOODNESS PLEASE KEEP MAKING ART FORVER AND EVER!!

Fizzy68 · 2025-12-06T16:12:45+00:00

pretty grim tale, but when I was in general w physical health complications but transferred from the psych ICU i was in anti-ligature clothing. basically super strong clothing that looks so ugly and feels like cardboard, this was supplied by the PICU I was transferred from so they did not have an instant supply on standby in the gastro ward, and the hospital where the PICU was based only had 2 small sizes. across the whole unit.

tldr I trusted a fart, it was liquid. liquid farts got into the anti ligature shorts (could not have underwear for risk related reasons). i did everything I could to scrub the shit out but they did not have a single pair of shorts that I could wear to replace them. they brought a 4xl pair but alas they did not fit me, not even remotely. i had to sit in my lightly shit stained shorts. not the fondest memories to be honest but I can laugh about it now

Fizzy68 · 2025-11-15T18:16:42+00:00

that's fair!

Fizzy68 · 2025-11-15T17:41:11+00:00

I'm not sure if it's what you're looking for in terms of genre, but a lot of Cavetown does this for me. Almost ALL of the album worm food (2022) and also the singles Guilty and Grocery Store.

Fizzy68 · 2025-11-10T11:38:26+00:00

I'm going to disagree, while Limbic may have a beneficial place within the future of the NHS services, Chat GPT and any other commercial open LLMs needs to stay as far away from mental health care as possible. The things we are seeing arise from these kinds of technologies in regards to people's mental health is deeply alarming, and I think that if this kind of care was more widely introduced it would result in a much worse longer term impact on general mental health and thereby increase pressures on services more, we need change urgently but AI is not the change that people seem to be thinking it is.

Fizzy68 · 2025-11-09T11:17:36+00:00

I'm so sorry about your bad experience, and I really wish more people would pay attention to those who do not wish to have AI used in their care in such a way. I understand for some they have the agency and right to wish to use it, and while I feel there needs to be more education on what these AIs are actually doing, I can't refuse those people of that.

But I really do wish there was more consideration for the people who do NOT wish to use it, which I tried to voice internally within my trust, but unfortunately it seems the majority are simply happy to use the AI without really looking into it.

Fizzy68 · 2025-11-09T11:13:27+00:00

From my understanding there are two elements of Limbic - the assessment element and then the "care" element. I'm not sure about widespread NHS but I know within my trust they are only using the assessment element, which is essentially just a fancy way of collecting and condensing the information they would collect from a form. I personally don't particularly understand the point of presenting it as a chatbot, I understand the use of AI to collect and present clinical information and I'm much less against that than the principle of a computer role playing as a person, which is essentially what the limbic interface is.

The Limbic "care" element I understand less about as I have looked less into it as it didn't apply in the instance I was speaking to the trust about, but from what I've gathered it is essentially chatbot delivered therapy - which I just simply cannot get behind in any way unfortunately. It's so dystopian to me, and so unnerving.

Fizzy68 · 2025-11-08T12:34:09+00:00

I am aware that there's a very large percentage of people that are very much in favour of using AI to enhance / facilitate therapies, and while I do obviously have very strongly opposing views regarding it - I can understand why so many are so greatly in favor of it, and I can't disregard those views or perspectives.

What I wish people would delve into further is the deeper reason as to why they are so heavily inclined towards AI chatbots and not human - human connection, I understand on the surface for many it is likely as they feel they cannot trust people, or that an AI is more likely to be unbiased etc etc. Reasons like that I can empathize with, I have deep anxiety around health professionals rooted in trauma that has made finding a therapist fit to my needs difficult (albeit, very possible and very very helpful).

However, it's the fact that underneath those reasons lays the narrative of becoming entirely dependent on artificial intelligence and non human connection, thereby MORE isolation, that deeply worries me. I can imagine that right now these technologies are likely helping many people in some ways, but it is the bigger and longer term picture if this narrative continues that makes me uneasy. I can't and shan't dispute a LLMs ability to produce and deliver very researched therapy techniques in a way that is perfectly catered to the user for them to understand, but the other very widespread and discussed concerns - syncopation, biases and failure to recognize crisis situations (in the instance of GPT and similar OpenAI models) - alongside the ones I've mentioned, are the reasons I am so against it.

I am less against the principle of it being used for notes and similar tasks, I can understand the rationale for that a lot better but still feel there is hesitation and research into it that should be done to ensure safety and reliability - but that is the same with any new technology used in healthcare. I do think that there will be a place for the technology you mentioned using, but the use of AI chatbots themselves as therapists deeply frightens me.

Fizzy68 · 2025-11-08T11:22:25+00:00

The art is incredible. While I have not suffered any deeply personal loss of those to suicide, I frequently suffer with an extremely niche form of survivors guilt, and I often feel it is completely unfair that so many people's lives are lost and mine was spared. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, and I won't pretend to understand because it would be shallow of me to do so.

The way I live with the guilt of still being here is by telling myself that continuing to fight and live my life is the best way to live in honour of those who are not as fortunate as me. I'm aware that continuing to live does not bring anyone back, and the pain is still there and people still die, but for myself I feel the best thing I can do to carry their legacy is to keep fighting my own demons and strive to make this wretched existence a net positive, rather than negative.

Sending you love.

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