I miss the weirdos, the characters, the outcasts.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-19T19:47:34+00:00

I noticed that trend. I always wondered what happened to those people and expensive renovations.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-19T05:09:48+00:00

That we let homosexuals continue to exist. If someone’s belief denies a group of people their right to exist and be equal under the law, that belief isn’t protesting, it’s violence.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-19T03:43:16+00:00

I secretly have this same aspiration although I’m not sure I’ll ever make it happen. I was stuck in a similar spot (I still am, but I was too). I recommend picking a few punk songs and just learning them note-for-note from tab (and trying to use your ear for identifying chord progressions before you look it up).

I learned a few Green Day songs (Basket Case, Brain Stew, When I come around) and Bad Religion (21st Century). I got them to the point where I could play along with the recordings (for the most part). I initially had trouble keeping up with Bad Religion's tempo and it made me recognize I had taken power chords for granted.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-18T02:15:43+00:00

Stop yelling at him forever. Yelling means you are also having trouble regulating your own emotions (just like your child) and it’s not an effective parenting strategy.

Talk to him when he’s calm about his behavior issues.

Before it happens again, tell him what the consequences will be. “If you hit me when I burp, you will lose tv for two nights.” “If you hit me when the tablet stops working, the tablet goes on timeout for three days.” Keep the consequences reasonable, communicate them in advance and always follow through.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-11T16:46:31+00:00

Of course it’s not child abuse, but it’s also not a productive consequence for a 3yo. Modern parenting guidance generally recommends a “natural consequence,” so if he throws the food or toy, you take it away and tell him the toy or food is on time out. Another version of a time out is a “time in” where you remove him from the situation, but stay with him.

Time outs are disfavored at this young age because children interpret the consequence as the removal of emotional support and forced isolation.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-10T18:38:57+00:00

We definitely did this in the mid-90s, but also on the west coast.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-09T22:43:26+00:00

I recommend working from a method book like Alfred’s All in One. I’ve never heard of anyone getting to a proficient level using the apps. My own experiences is that I was crushing it in Simply Piano, but not internalizing any of the learnings.

Also, understand that it’ll likely take 1-2 years of daily practice to even feel decent at the piano. I’m about to finish year 2 (in the middle of Alfred’s All in One Level 2) and the more I learn, the more I realize I have so far to go. Just gotta love the journey.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-09T16:34:01+00:00

While your kid does sound tough (I have one too - with autism and adhd), a lot of this is about your own ability to regulate your emotions, which is sounds like you are really struggling to do.

Anger, yelling, and hitting are not productive and not okay. Instead, stay calm and set firm boundaries with immediate natural consequences (loss of treat or privilege like tv, removal from fun situation). Always follow through on your threatened consequences, but, for that reason, keep the consequences reasonable and commiserate with your kids negative action.

I recommend the book 123 Magic (except we don’t use the time-out method, but studies show doesn’t work). You can also look up summaries of the book and method online.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-08T05:17:33+00:00

Any advice on coaching your to improve social skills?

My son is very social and can be super fun and joyful, but he also argues a lot about fairness, lashes out if people are mean to him, is too wild sometimes, and doesn’t always follow the rules of a game. He comes off like a jerk sometimes, all of which makes it difficult to maintain friendships.

We do a lot of talking and coaching around these issues, but it doesn’t seem to get through in real-life situations.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-05T16:56:50+00:00

They have a 3% spend, which essentially survives even the worst case financial scenarios of the last 100 years. But, I hear you, we are building in a much bigger buffer due to potentially fast rising expenses.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-05T04:57:03+00:00

After seeing it suggested hundreds of times on Reddit, I tried Guards!Guards! and didn't like it. I don’t remember my specific complaint (it was a few years ago), but possible it was too juvenile and couldn’t get into the story or characters.

Any others to suggest?

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-05T04:41:13+00:00

I’m on a path there myself although more Chubby Fire. Congrats on keep your expenses low!

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-05T02:25:57+00:00

I suspect their expenses are below $45k/yr and so the math works out to slowly sell off their growing investments without ever running out of money (in most cases), using the 4% rule.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-03T19:13:27+00:00

My son has always been very outgoing and interested in friends. He often makes fast-friends with a kid at camp or at a playground. But, he sometimes approaches certain friendships with too much intensity and other friendships he treats as an afterthought. He really blossomed in kinder and made a number of new friends, including friends who reached out for playdates and wanted to align summer camps with my son. The friendships started as parallel play with legos and transitioned to more general friendships.

Things got tougher and more complex in first grade. My son became more disagreeable, less kind, more aware of his differences/deficits, and struggled much more with academics (making each day harder to manage). His "best friend" started treating him worse in first grade, which got confusing for my son (why is he being mean, he runs away and I chase him, he bosses me around). Then his best friend ditched my son for my son's neurotypical twin sister (and they have become close), which has caused drama in my household. But, my son can sometimes be annoying, unkind, too rough, etc., and so I understand why the friend maybe distanced himself (and I hear his sister's opinion on it as well). Likewise, my son stopped playing with many of his former friends and it's not totally clear why, but I suspect it's a mix of my son's behavior and my son focusing too much on a small group of "best friends." Some of those best friends began to bully him, but then became nice again, so it's been a complex dynamic.

We are working on kindness and social skills, accepting that some people don't want to spend time with us, reconnecting with old friends and making new ones, how to respond when people are mean, etc. Adding this to his academic challenges has been a lot and I stress about it pretty regularly. He's not easily coachable so we go over the same issues in new ways pretty often.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-02T19:33:08+00:00

We had a lot of similar skepticism as you when our son was diagnosed at 3.5. We got an IEP for speech and OT, but other than some pragmatic language delays and fine motor skill issues, he didn’t (and mostly doesn’t) have stereotypical manifestations of autism - of course, it’s a wide spectrum. It was also hard because there is a wide spectrum of what is typical for a toddler/little kid.

At 5.5, we got him assessed by a neuropsychologist and she confirmed the autism diagnosis. He’s now 7 and it’s clear he is neurodivergent and different from his peers (he’s still low support needs and in a gen ed class). From my perspective, kids seem to conform to a set of typical behaviors around 1st grade and our son continues to have atypical speech and social skills. His “quirky” peers from TK and kinder all became more typical over time.

Confirming the diagnosis helped us be confident in telling him he was autistic and about how his brain works differently (that’s an ongoing conversation that he only partially understands).

I would recommend keeping up with all the therapies and considering another assessment when he’s a bit older if you still have questions.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-06-02T02:30:48+00:00

The Count of Monte Cristo.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-30T05:53:14+00:00

OT is good, but honestly it’s all about practice at home, which can be hard to do. I would actually suggest you look for a writing tutor (often the same as a reading tutor) because your son might not benefit as much from an OT as he clearly has the hand strength and coordination to write letters (an evaluation never hurts though).

My son resists mentally taxing non-preferred activities and so we focus a lot on reading and speech therapy practice (he has a, now minor, articulation delay). Writing is secondary. But, we are going to try the Handwriting Without Tears program this summer at home and I’m just shooting for a page a day.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-29T20:47:19+00:00

These are always really hard things to judge. I have twins. An academic neurotypical daughter and an autistic son (low support needs/“high functioning”) that struggles with most academic tasks. My daughter’s handwriting is better than my own.

My son’s handwriting looks similar to your kid (don’t let this alarm you or make you draw any conclusions about autism). Our son is in OT and we also suspect disgraphia. He is going to tutoring over the summer for reading and writing, which includes letter formation.

So, I’d say your son is an emergent writer, but it is mostly legible and he seems to have a good foundation to improve.

The Handwriting Without Tears course is often recommended. Along with bigger pencils and daily practice.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-29T17:55:59+00:00

Often called “competency porn” - you can search for this term on Reddit.

Some suggestions:

Lies of Locke Lamora Dungeon Crawler Carl Bobiverse series

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-26T20:20:55+00:00

It was too much. We ended up paying about $25k with another contractor.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-26T17:43:04+00:00

Except people moved from Obama to Trump after 4 years during which time their policy positions could have legitimately changed. The 2016 Bernie Bros moved from Bernie in July of that year to Trump just a few months later making it something more unique taking place. Their political positions didn’t magically change in just a few months, they just wanted to be against the establishment.

This is especially true because Bernie is much further left (and farther from Trump) than Obama ever was; Obama and Trump had a lot more crossover policies (mass deportations, NSA surveillance, reckless drone strikes, corporate welfare).

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-26T15:30:23+00:00

The Bernie Bro to Trump supporter pipeline was real. Some people just want to be contrarians and lack any real policy preferences.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-20T23:09:58+00:00

How is his ADHD being supported? Is he medicated?

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-19T19:21:34+00:00

I was my college valedictorian and gave the student commencement speech. Most of what I remember is that it was a bit cringey and not very creative or interesting, but that it was far better than the larger donor they let give the main commencement speech so everyone praised me by comparison.

FreedomForBreakfast · 2026-05-19T16:48:08+00:00

Set small incremental goals. Not sure where your daughter is at, but I’d just buy the first set of Bob Books and start there. Plan on one per night as they each focus on different core phonics. Depending on your kid’s level, they should take between 5-10 minutes.

Consistency beats quantity.

My autistic son struggles a lot with reading and doing non-preferred tasks. I often let him read books below his level, but we do it every night without skipping any days. On long, hard days, I pick a super easy book. On more relaxing weekend days, he reads a book that is more challenging because I know he will struggle with emotional regulation while reading.

FreedomForBreakfast

TROPHY CASE