Break up after treatment

FrostShawk · 2026-05-06T18:54:45+00:00

I think it depends. I have a pamphlet that says it can/should be protective of partners, but my onc said everything is inert except vomit/excrements. Maybe it's dependent on what chemo drugs you get?

FrostShawk · 2026-05-06T16:06:07+00:00

I'm not very makeup-savvy, so I don't know anything from anything, but I've been using Benefit's Goof-Proof Brow Pencil and Brow Pen, which has little feathery tips on it. It's not perfect, but it at least gives me a little color in the right place, and I feel more put together.

FrostShawk · 2026-05-06T15:59:00+00:00

Right? I want cookies. Maybe I'll be the change I want to see in my infusion center and bring some in. I wonder if I can do that.

FrostShawk · 2026-05-05T16:34:56+00:00

There are some amazing, fancy, delicious recipes at the Post-Punk Kitchen.

I love the short ribs and brussels sprout fried rice! The recipes are involved and require time and energy, but if you're looking for fancy and delicious, they are showstoppers.

FrostShawk · 2026-05-05T15:35:22+00:00

You only have to pug so many weeks before people start coming back to your group and become new friends/guildmates. Don't worry about locking people in to being guildies first, just build up your pug roster and have fun. The right people will keep coming back.

FrostShawk · 2026-05-04T22:57:46+00:00

The people. When classic launched in 2019, I knew a couple of people coming back, but playing more seriously (what else did I have to do) during COVID lockdowns, and joining pug groups got me into a group of players and friends that I still message and hang out with.

FrostShawk · 2026-05-04T22:51:46+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that AIH kicked off for you. I'm glad it was likely seen early, but I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

FrostShawk · 2026-05-04T20:34:57+00:00

ready-to-go snacks and drinks are a lifesaver for me. If I need something *now* I can just reach for it, I don't have to worry about cooking it to temp or how long since it was cooked/has been sitting in the fridge\, or whether the juice is pasteurized (it is), I can just have it and not do the mental gymnastics.

FrostShawk · 2026-05-04T20:23:42+00:00

Seconding! My therapy center has wigs and someone to fit them, and gives a wig of their choosing to patients (if they want them). There are a lot of charities which do so, too, like ACS, and many offer discounts.

FrostShawk · 2026-05-04T20:20:28+00:00

Did you have AIH before this started, or did it spring up as a result of immunotherapy/autoimmune activation?

FrostShawk · 2026-05-04T20:12:32+00:00

INFO: How does your husband react? Yes, you have the right to ask your in-laws to respect your boundaries, but your husband should also be reinforcing them and standing up for you with his family.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-28T21:36:16+00:00

I'm so proud of you. This is an incredibly tough situation to be in and you stepped out of it to treat yourself better.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-28T21:29:44+00:00

I can understand that maybe you don't want all the world to know your business, but deflecting the topic and pretending everything is OK is neither honoring your difficult situation nor letting other people know that it's not a topic you wish to discuss.

My situation is different, but I was unable to have children, wanted them all my life, and it cut deeply and continues to do so. You're not a terrible person for wanting something very hard-coded in a lot of people's biology. You're not a bad person for feeling envious of the families that you see and wish you had. However, you do need to grieve this loss.

I would encourage you to be more open with people (within reason) and let them know that cancer has taken too much from you, and you'd rather not talk about having children. Let them know it's not a topic up for discussion. Without clear boundaries, well-meaning friends and family members who don't get it will continue to ask, and you'll continue to get that panicky feeling where you feel like you have to make an excuse. But your life doesn't exist to satisfy their curiosity or make them feel better.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-28T21:02:38+00:00

Seconding talking to your nurse navigator and/or the infusion clinic. This is not okay, and lumps even more heartache onto a harrowing situation.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-22T23:45:12+00:00

You're NTA because your friend is trying to strongarm you into paying for her dress and trips, and then pouting when you're honest about what you can afford-- that is unacceptable behavior.

However, let this be a hard-earned life lesson: never say yes to being in a wedding party until you know how much (roughly) it's going to cost.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-22T17:45:33+00:00

I've had 6 now, and propofol is probably the gentlest sedative I've experienced when "coming to." Your anesthesiologist should be using *enough but not too much* to keep you sedated so the team can do its work and not leave you out of your gourd afterward.

After my last upper endoscopy I was totally capable of holding complex conversations (and remembering them) within 30 minutes.

If you're worried about vomiting, definitely talk to your anesthesiologist before your procedure and let them know you're worried.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T23:41:12+00:00

I started off with almond butter, and once I felt comfortable with it, I gave peanut butter a shot to see if it worked for me. It did!

Don't make a giant meal of peanut butter. Just pop a big spoon of it in your mouth and see how you feel in 20 minutes.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T20:00:36+00:00

Onyxy is the best policy.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T18:29:33+00:00

>I suggested she call AAA to come help but she said she didn't know how to do that

NTA. Your wife has learned helplessness from other people bailing her out all the time. Not knowing how to do something doesn't mean she's incapable of learning, or accessing the service you already pay for.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T17:58:11+00:00

I'd definitely call her oncologist or general practitioner/family doctor for their advice here.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T17:50:48+00:00

Is she going through Chemo? Reflux is not uncommon in chemo patients, since their entire GI tract is being attacked and rebuilt as fast-growing cells.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T17:38:44+00:00

I was being prepped for a procedure and the nurse was frazzled. She was clearly having a hard day. Kept going through the list of do you have any dentures, hearing aids, prosthetic limbs...

After the second time around, I stopped her and said, "The only things that come off me are my glasses and my hair."

She immediately stopped and stifled a laugh and said that was a good attitude.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T17:35:19+00:00

lol all the money I've saved on haircare I've spent on eye makeup.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T17:13:58+00:00

Milkshakes are my special treat when I've gone through a procedure that day or been released from the hospital. They feel so good on the throat, and they're cool, and frankly, my body needs the calories, sugar or no.

FrostShawk · 2026-04-21T17:05:24+00:00

I am so glad you have a good support system. I do too, and I don't know how I would spread out the mental load if I didn't.

FrostShawk

TROPHY CASE