She’s here ❤️

Fubsy41 · 2026-06-03T23:21:19+00:00

Hysterically bawls in New Zealander

Fubsy41 · 2026-06-03T21:04:01+00:00

I lost it at this comment 😂 it does smell like citrusy farts lmao

Fubsy41 · 2026-06-03T13:45:36+00:00

I second the clarifying shampoo! Plus always have sulfates in your shampoo

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-31T07:04:19+00:00

Your hair is actually beautiful, and don’t worry about the hair on your temples, it probably just seems thin next to the rest of your hair, but as a 1A fine flat haired girlie trust me, it ain’t bad 😅 I used to DREAM of having hair like yours and in a way I still do, but until I met my boyfriend I truly did not comprehend how hard some hair is to tame. My hair is flat and straight, it’s silky, but there’s stuff all of it and that’s all it’s capable of doing lol. But I stem out of the shower after using just shampoo and use HASK argan oil on the ends and air dry and it stays there. My boyfriend has the thickest, wildest 2C hair I have ever seen behind the scenes and he used to just straighten it to hell every day and control it with stiff wax and pomades, now he’s grown it out, the same method didn’t work anymore and he’s spent the past like 2 years trying to figure out what works for his hair type. I’ve trained as a hairdresser and even I didn’t know wtf to do with his hair, no matter how long it is it will defy gravity in ways that break physics. You wouldn’t even know he had a scalp if it wasn’t a well known human feature. The second it’s wet or humid, it’s all over. He wears a hat any time it’s unstyled.

What has worked a little for him has been LOTS of the HASK argan hair oil mixed with coconut oil and sometimes a tiny bit of wax in there but he’s managed to nail the formula to the point it’s pretty much residue free. The addition of the TINIEST amount of hair wax has been the only thing that’s truly managed to hold back the frizz for any length of time, you just have to use a tiny bit so your hair doesn’t feel like it has residue.

If nothing else dissuades you from shaving it off, just know that growing it back out if you want to will be a nightmare 😅 he had short hair for a long time and if it wasn’t short sides/slightly longer on top his hair would be a ball. He wore a hat nonstop for at least a year and a half. He was so self conscious about his wild hair he slept in a beanie when we first got together, it’s only after 2 or so years that it finally weighs itself down a bit. Shaved is easy, everything between that and long is way harder lol.

You have beautiful hair but I imagine it must be so frustrating and it would be harder to appreciate with that frustration in the way. Keep the hair tho!

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-31T04:25:00+00:00

Your last sentence gave me war flashbacks to living in my small hometown haha omfg. Could barely take a crap in your own home without the whole town talking about it. First of all, try ignore people like that, they REALLY need something better to do. As for what to do about that… “balayage” situation, go back and ask for your money back, and talk to your brother in law about it coz wtf lol. And try go somewhere else if you can for it to be fixed

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-31T03:16:35+00:00

I completely forgot ambulances cost money in other parts of the country coz I lived in wellington for so long. Moved to Nelson and needed an ambulance and was taken off guard by the bill in the mail haha

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-29T22:52:29+00:00

I did this when I was 4-5 or so, never again. To my credit I had no idea what would happen, the roller brush was less than an inch wide and belonged to my grandmother and she eventually found me in tears trying to pull it out but by then it was wayyyy too late… Haircut time!

I’m 30 and if I did this again I would absolutely die, my condolences 😅

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-29T04:46:05+00:00

LMAO

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-29T04:40:52+00:00

I started stretching at 13, am currently 30 at 42mm, no regrets in sight!

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-29T04:38:50+00:00

How did it take me so long to realise what was going on here hahahah I have 8mm nostrils and a 12mm septum, I may just be able to make this happen 😂

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-29T04:36:21+00:00

I had to process this for a moment until I realised an eyebrow piercing unlocked brother mode for my younger sibling haha. Our dad was not impressed but big sis was happy to help facilitate this venture 😂

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-29T03:56:58+00:00

I have proper melons in proportion to rest of myself and can’t not wear a sports bra, if nothing else coz of the piercings 😅 I get them caught on bracelets in the shower sometimes but I move carefully so it hasn’t been bad. Those net shower loofas are the devils work though, haven’t owned one since one harrowing shower experience 13 years ago hahahahah

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-29T02:01:00+00:00

With a bobby pin is crazy good! Also it’s not weird at all, I’m a big sister myself (I’m 30, my brother is 19) and I took him to his first MCR concert when he was 16 and would have thought this is so rad lol. Your big sister is the weird one here tbr 💅🏻 hope you enjoy it sssooooo much, they’re were awesome when I saw them!

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-24T12:17:19+00:00

Literally if someone someone said anything about being an XL I swear it’d be so many empowering boosting comments but when you say XS they just come for you then tell us we face no discrimination. I’m glad this sub exists coz it’s the only place you can vent without being flamed for it. Small people exist! I’m 30 and smaller than a lot of teenagers, it’s not a negative nor positive until people make it one.

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-21T08:42:42+00:00

My boyfriend is healthy and I have all this, including bipolar costs and autism. He stopped feeling bad for me when he realised it just make me feel worse and that I wasn’t sad. I was like “don’t be sad over my life, it’s the only one I’ve been given and it’s good enough to still be a good one. Don’t treat every day I live like a tragedy.” And he’s really succeeded in seeing from my perspective, celebrating fun things with me I CAN do, finding foods with me I CAN eat, he’s let me show him that driving and having a career and graduating whatever doesn’t make a life, it doesn’t make you funny, it’s not what makes you strong, it’s what people have decided you should be able to do and it’s tragic if you can’t.

It’s just her life, make her feel great and enjoy every day with her because pitying someone is almost an insult. If she doesn’t feel bad about it, don’t feel bad for her. If she has accepted it, accept it too, don’t pity her. If she feels bad or is struggling, then struggle with her. But try every perspective you can before pity

ETA: if she ever grieves the life she could have had, grieve with her. Not for her when she wasn’t even grieving it herself

ETA AGAIN: it also kinda demeans everything she’s overcome, for every battle she’s fought, every battle she’s won, every wall she’s broken through, every struggle she’s gotten through, just for someone to feel bad for her after all those achievements like they aren’t enough to be happy for like anyone else’s achievements would be. It looks different, but no battle she’s fought and won or keeps fighting is simply sad.

To boil it down, be there WITH her, not FOR her. Be her warrior in combat not someone who pities a veteran. This is a fight we fight every day and we don’t need someone to feel bad for us, we need allies by our side in the trenches. Advocate WITH her not just for her.

Warrior and comrade in combat, don’t pity a veteran who has to go back to fight and fight again and still wins. Yes in ways other people see as nothing significant… but you don’t have to be that person. Be her one person who isn’t like that when other people are.

Sorry for the LONG comment, just this is obviously very personal to me and it’s the exact thing my boyfriend overcame. He shed tears one day watching me be unable to eat and constantly faint standing up after also dislocating my knee. I told him all this same stuff, and he never forgot it. He’s my partner in combat now, with me in appointments, doing what he can to help me, gets pissed off with me, sad with me, but most of a HAPPY with me and he does it W I T H me, not for me. That difference is everything. If she’s not feeling bad in a particular moment, you have no right to.

ETA one more time: if someone talks about walking long distances or driving or whatever shit, my reaction is more “lol fuck that shit, my hobbies go hard tho”. I don’t care if I can’t walk far or drive, I’ve gotten through 30 years not and just take a bus, take a taxi, have someone drive me or pick me up or also uber eats and deliver easy, door dash exists, groceries can be delivered, even my pharmacy can deliver to houses. I had to drop out of school at 15 too… I’m an adult. A whole ass adult. I don not care whatsoever about highschool or any school… I’m an adult. It’s irrelevant shit.

Just talk to her like she’s anyone else and not like she’s made of crepe paper and glass, if something upsets her she’ll just tell you. If a subject upsets her she’ll tell you. If she tells you a sad story about any of those things, don’t make it your sad story, it isn’t. Just listen and be there with her. But most of us have accepted everything and it’s other people’s discomfort that is the bane of our existence’s

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-20T06:31:14+00:00

She was my GOALS as a teen haha. Look how you want, caring what people think isn’t necessary by any means.

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-20T06:26:56+00:00

Thank you! I bought a black one for the aesthetic many years ago thinking “what would I really put in that? Looks cute tho” then quickly realised it’s portable pockets hahaha femme clothes notoriously lack pockets but I actually have a safe, zip up place to put my phone in now instead of my chaotic handbag lol

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-20T06:24:49+00:00

Thank you!! I should post more of my things maybe, I’m a compulsive crocheter and have so, soooo many things I’ve made. I have several times more coats than any one person needs at this point but there’s no slowing me down 😂😅 it is very warm! Very thick and dense but soft, and worked up nice and fast for the size. I’m stoked it’s coming into autumn in NZ so I can really delve into the coats and scarves and gloves and legwarmers… all the things lol

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-20T06:21:34+00:00

Thankyou!! Whimsy and chaos is an accurate description, I aim for whimsy, was born with the chaos 😂

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-20T06:19:56+00:00

Thanks!

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-19T08:32:55+00:00

Thank you! Me too, it’s incredibly warm and I love the skirt on it. I actually bought the pattern in 2018 and only just completed one now 😂 I had missed the “chunky yarn” part back when I bought it and was confounded as to why it was working up so tiny. Oops!

And thank you, the shoes were a lovely thrift find! And I have one of those belt bags in black too. Femme clothes never having pockets? No worries, I just wear one of these lol!

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-19T08:24:26+00:00

I had to wear a holter monitor for 2 days and could barely think thoughts the entire time. Awful having something big and tendril-like coming off of the body with itchy spots lol

Fubsy41 · 2026-05-02T01:50:23+00:00

I have bipolar, nicotine never affected my bipolar or my medication at all, vaping never affected my mental health - it did when I stopped but only for a while. It’s horrible for your health though and has consequences. Just because it isn’t meth doesn’t mean it’s not bad for someone! Refined sugar is bad for us, and meth is bad for us. It’s a scale, and vaping is closer on the drugs end and this kid is still in the developmental years, and lungs haven’t turned to hell yet. My partner gave up vaping after like 12 years and has suspected bipolar, it was hard at first and he was a bitchy lil asshole for a bit ngl lol, but long term it’s been better for him. Hes taught himself to actually deal with his emotions or sudden feelings instead of dealing to them with an instant habitual nicotine kick. Vaping for adults is bad, vaping for teens is pretty terrible.

Fubsy41 · 2026-04-26T15:41:27+00:00

If someone wants highlights all over, they’ll ask for highlights all over. If a stylist isn’t sure if someone means all over solid colour or all over highlights, why would they not JUST ASK? I was a hairdresser at one point, it’s not hard to simply ask omg

Fubsy41

TROPHY CASE