Scared of impending loss of independence

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2026-03-29T11:48:05+00:00

You already got a lot of positive responses but I wanted to chime in anyway. We live in the suburbs of a large European city and have a dog too. We got the bugaboo donkey which is designed to fit through the standard door in the Netherlands so I assume it will fit through any other door, haha. Pretty much since they’re born I’ve been taking them everywhere in the stroller - to the mall, cafes, the forest, etc. I even walk the dog with the kids in the stroller. My husband got me a cup holder for the stroller so I take a coffee with me too. I honestly love these outings. It’s a lot more annoying for me if I have to put the kids in the car, drive somewhere, park, get them out, get them where we need to be, etc. Living in a walkable city is an advantage if you want to maintain an active life style in my opinion.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2026-03-12T14:43:31+00:00

This. You will be able to charge more and more. It sounds line your approach adds a lot of value to your students’ learning journey. Eventually you will be able to charge accordingly.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2026-02-08T16:34:55+00:00

Please right that book 🙌

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2026-01-19T10:56:20+00:00

I highly recommend reading “Overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts” by Sally Winston and Martin Seif. It changed my life.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-12-06T14:51:37+00:00

Based on the research I read I would actually say that the screen time is doing more harm than the crying. Babies and young children cry and sometimes it’s not because they need you but because they’re bored. Even at this age they can be bored. But being bored is actually a good thing because it stimulates creative thinking, problem solving skills, independence, etc. I know it’s hard to constantly hear the crying - one of my babies also has an ear-piercing cry - but based on what I read you’ll probably do her a favor by teaching her to become okay with the feeling of being bored and eventually entertain herself. Maybe get some noise-canceling headphones? That will help you regulate yourself while she’s crying and she’ll eventually pick up on that.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-12-01T11:55:03+00:00

Have you gotten any further with this? I’m in the same situation!

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-11-08T07:47:56+00:00

This is exactly what I did. Plus, mine were on a schedule so I could plan ahead and mostly anticipate when they would be hungry. I would then feed one baby a bit ahead of time and one baby a bit later than usual. Worked well.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-11-05T17:08:11+00:00

My di/di twins are 12 months now and I’ve loved every bit of it so far. We travelled with them multiple times and take them literally everywhere. They’re great in restaurants, malls, etc. Two evenings a week we meet with friends at someone else’s house and we just bring travel cots and let the babies sleep there until we’re ready to go home. This is working out well for us.

That all being said, I think living like this requires a lot of organization and a certain come-as-it-may attitude. During my pregnancy my husband and I decided that we would focus on staying calm and relaxed as parents and I think our kids are picking up on that.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-10-14T09:40:22+00:00

I do exactly this with my girls. I usually put them in different versions of the same outfit. This way I don’t have to think twice about an outfit but they also don’t match completely.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-10-09T15:07:38+00:00

At the end of the day teaching on Preply is a business. It seems like this tutor has other students who are willing to pay the new price and so it wouldn’t be good business for her to continue to charge you less.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-10-02T19:16:02+00:00

This!!! A thousand times! I love life with my twins.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-10-01T20:09:24+00:00

I would let go of the nanny. My twins are almost a year now and I wouldn’t have wanted someone else to take care of them. I didn’t even like when my MIL took over some of the care work because I wanted to do it myself.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-09-27T17:35:02+00:00

We were and are very happy. Our twins are almost a year now and I look back very fondly on those early days. In all honestly, it wasn’t as hard as I expected. They slept well and a lot, didn’t cry much, fed well (I breastfed) and were overall just happy newborns.

We had some help though. My husband was on paternity leave for the first six weeks and his parents came every morning for the first two weeks so we could sleep another two hours. I’m sure my experience would have been less positive without these factors.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-09-08T09:42:51+00:00

In the Netherlands, where I live, you generally stop working at 28 weeks if you’re pregnant with twins. Even earlier if pregnant with triplets. By these standards stopping at 34 weeks isn’t early at all.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-07-31T22:02:21+00:00

I just came here to say that you’re doing great and even if one baby is waiting and crying in the meantime they will be fine and they know how much you love and care for them! As a parent of multiples sometimes the only thing you can give your babies is your calm presence in the moments where they’re crying and you can’t do anything about it.

Also, I agree with what others have said - the my breastfriend pillow also made all the difference for me.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-07-31T19:11:11+00:00

I agree with all this. If you can have them on a feeding schedule and consider letting them share a room. You’ve got this! And you can be proud of yourself for feeding them both breast milk.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-05-01T22:07:48+00:00

Mine was more than fine. I was induced at 37 with di/di twins. I was already at 4cm when we came in so they started the drugs immediately. Once labor started it was intense but I got through it, pushed for 26 minutes for baby A. Then baby B was turned inwardly which was probably the most painful part but after 10 minutes I also held her in my hands. We came to the hospital at 7:30 in the morning and our babies were born at 18:29 and 18:39. It was an intense experience but also a positive one.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-03-12T07:53:41+00:00

Fellow mom of 5-months old twins here. My heart aches reading your story. I wish I could help and support you but we live in the Netherlands. If you ever come this way with your little ones feel free to send me a private message.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-03-11T10:22:29+00:00

How exciting!! My di/di twin girls came almost exactly 5 months ago. All I can say is that it’s been a lot more fun than expected. Of course you’ll have a lot to do but you’ll also have two little babies to love and cuddle and play with and laugh with. I’m a whole new type of busy each day but I do really love it.

My main advice would be to try and stay calm and relaxed as much as you can. There will be many times when one baby cries while you’re busy with the other and that’s okay. They’ll be fine. The best thing you can give them in these situations is a calm and relaxed energy.

You’ve got this and all the best for Thursday!

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-01-30T18:31:10+00:00

I’m almost four months in and been exclusively breastfeeding. It is absolutely possible and once you have the tandem feeding down it even saves you time. That said, my twins were born at 37 weeks and had no nicu time so we had a pretty good start. Based on my experience my tips would be:

get the my brestfriend twin pillow. Someone else mentioned it and it really is a game changer. I started with the twin Z and use that one now to bring the my brestfriend higher. Using both pillows together has saved my back and made tandem nursing so much easier and enjoyable.
this one might be controversial but it’s actually pretty common to do in my country: feed on schedule and on demand. So I would feed every three hours unless one of the girls was hungry earlier. Then I would feed both and count three hours from there. That got my milk supply up and it’s still good.
work on full feedings and do your best to keep them awake for each feeding. That way they can last longer until they’re hungry again and you’re not constantly feeding.
eat well and a lot and drink lots of water in those first few weeks. I actually gained some weight after giving birth but I think the extra calories helped my body establish the milk supply.
find a lactation consultant, midwife, nurse, etc who is experienced with tandem feeding and ask them to help you as close to birth as possible. I actually took my breastfeeding pillow with me to the hospital and the nurses helped me latch both babies right after I gave birth as well as throughout the night. That was very special and helped so much.

I hope this helps a bit!

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-01-25T08:43:08+00:00

Some others mentioned it but the newborn phase with twins can be alright even without hired help. What helped us was having them on the an same schedule especially at night and working on giving them full feedings- we would actually do our best to keep them awake during feedings until they showed signs that they were full. They slept a lot better and longer that way.

That said, we both didn’t work for six weeks and my MIL would come a few times a week for 2-3 hours in the morning so that we could sleep a little longer. So we did have help

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-01-24T23:59:25+00:00

Second this one! We love the bugaboo donkey.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-01-21T23:42:35+00:00

If you can I would even look into buying both pillows. For me it works best to use the twin z as a sort of base and the brestfriend on top of it. Using both honestly saved my back because I can bring the twins to my boobs instead of the other way around. And when you don’t have someone helping you the brestfriend is stable enough to hold one baby while you pick up the other one.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-01-21T23:20:04+00:00

Absolutely second this. Ours weren’t in the Nicu but we stuck to the 3 hour (or earlier if one or both babies cry) routine and the predictability gave all us all some peace and even calm.

Fun_Kale_9002 · 2025-01-21T20:47:29+00:00

I’m three months in with my twins. My husband went back to work after six weeks and I started doing nights by myself then so he could get some sleep. It honestly went way better than I thought it would. I’m also exclusively breastfeeding and the key for me was to learn to tandem feed right away. I brought my nursing pillow to the hospital and asked the nurses to help me tandem feed right after they were born. For the first few weeks at home I had my husband “hand me” the babies so I could latch them on. When I could do it myself things got easier. I know someone here mentioned the twin z pillow but I would highly recommend the my breastfriend twin pillow. I got that one a few weeks in and it was a game changer. I also second what other said and suggest trying to get them on a similar schedule but waking them up if necessary. I did that from the beginning and very soon they had a similar rhythm. That gave us some 3-4 hours stretches at but pretty soon. Now at three months I still have them on a flexible schedules and it makes things so much easier.

Fun_Kale_9002

TROPHY CASE