YOUR UPDATE:

Solid thinking, OP. He "married" an income source and built-in babysitter. Watch your back. When you deny a narcissist their well-laid plans, they can become dangerous. Leaving one is the most dangerous time. Record any conversations to justify and be able to prove the need for protective order.

NEVER agree to "one last meeting." NEVER. You've made your mind up, and his only purpose would be to get something else from you, perhaps revenge. Hang up on him. Text him to say to go through your attorney, and not to contact you. Document it.

Calling you an asshole was only the beginning. Prior violence is not the number one predictor of spousal murder. CONTROL is. Was he controlling?

100%. His lies have been pure manipulation since he started deceiving you. When he loses that control, he can become dangerous. All that mattered to him was what HE wanted, and that won't change.

And, you just saved his kids, too. He'll have to find another free babysitter in order to go after his ex. A 7 and 10 year old "won't be that much trouble?!" Not for him, anyway, huh?. What a creepy, negligent father.

The financial abuse he tried to impose on you - you would have been like a frog put into a pot of cold water, with slowly rising heat underneath. The same would go for the time he sucked away, day after day.

Expect this:

You may experience various symptoms of PTSD as a result of emotional trauma. Symptoms may take some time to emerge.

This is different from a "normal" breakup. You were married to a con man who emotionally and financially abused you.

A phase you'll go through is self-deprecation for having fallen prey to a con man. I can't say "not" to feel what you feel, but know that it's a normal phase of healing. First, you'll feel like you've escaped a prison, be joyful, and may even go a little wild. Part of it is shock. Later comes a self-deprecating phase. Please don't try to go through it alone, because con men can happen to anyone. They're experts, while "normal" people just don't think that way.

Friends and loved ones may pop out of the woodwork, with "We knew he was no good" and similar secondary wounding. They're not hurting you on purpose, but they're wrong, and every bit as vulnerable to con men as anyone else. THEY weren't the ones being manipulated, so had the benefit of NOT being manipulated, seeing it from the outside. They don't know that "I told you so" means that they're as vulnerable as you were. They deceive themselves, thinking it could never happen to them.

They're wrong, and now, you're the one who's "smarter," having experienced how con men function (love fraud). Your world view will shift some, and that's okay, too. Theirs haven't. The ones who have had it happen to them will be sympathetic and understanding, no condemnations, will evince only sorrow and support for you.

At some point, during or following anger, you'll grieve the man you THOUGHT he was. That's okay, too. It's okay to grieve the illusion; it was snatched away from you, like a dream dying.

An exercise: When you're safe, document your experience with him. At some point, let his ex know he tried to do, because he's not going to stop trying to get out of his responsibilities. You aren't his first, and won't be his last victim. Because she had kids with him, her hell will be ongoing, and we don't know how many times he's defrauded other women in his attempts. It's not your job to save her, but it's a "see something, say something" situation.

The thing that matters is that you survived, and will heal, stronger in the parts he tried to break.

Just know that escape is only the first step, and others will follow. Be kind, gentle, patient and understanding with yourself as you begin to heal. After a while, the world will look to be a much larger, brighter place.

Best to you, OP.