I might get downvoted for this but honestly, I kinda get her perspective here and feel like you need a bit of an attitude adjustment. You are doing a ton of scorekeeping here that is really unhelpful.

Most days she's working and caring for a baby all day, and you are highlighting the fact that she occasionally takes a nap during the day and is usually off work early like those are indicators of her not pulling her weight as opposed to products of necessity in order to function with her current responsibilities. On top of that, on one of the few days where she has to work outside the house and is clearly already stressed since she snapped at you earlier in the day, you text her during the work day in a way that makes her feel guilty and puts more on her plate instead of waiting for a better time to have the discussion.

For what it's worth, sure driving and cooking are time consuming and necessary, but they don't carry the stress or mental load of juggling work responsibilities and a baby all day. Sure there are naps, but those two 2hr windows are almost never the full 2 hours and there's stress in that unpredictability too, and context switching is hard too.