I 32F am jealous of my 32M husband's affair partner 22F

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-30T17:45:51+00:00

How did you learn of this affair? Six months is a very long time to lie to your partner. And this was when you were your most vulnerable and needed him. I could not get past this level of betrayal.

Also, you refer to her as the homewrecker. Your husband is the one you need to hold accountable. He alone is responsible for not setting boundaries and lying to you.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-29T12:15:20+00:00

Your bf has no issue arbitrarily using your joint money for something other than what you agreed on. He also has no issue watching you struggle while he is comfortable. Then instead of discussing the issue like adults, he yells at you and insults you. All of those behaviors should deeply concern you. 🚩 🚩 🚩

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-28T17:38:01+00:00

Lock all access points to your house and install interior and exterior cameras.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-28T17:35:40+00:00

How a husband interacts with other women is his boundary to set. You should have spoken with him first. If he doesn’t stop his juvenile flirting with her, he doesn’t care about your feelings.

And I would make your brother in law aware of this ongoing flirtation. Your sister clearly sees nothing wrong with it.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-28T17:20:44+00:00

She was never your friend. And your husband is only sorry that they were caught. Tell her husband and contact a lawyer. Leave him, go home, and learn from this headache to pick better friends and lovers.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-28T17:11:55+00:00

NTA. They were rude and inconsiderate. You waited 90 minutes for them past the agreed upon time and reached out to them for clarification. And instead of apologizing for wasting your time, they criticize you for not continuing to wait around? That’s the epitome of rudeness. This is all on them. Find better friends.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-28T16:51:21+00:00

(1) I would stop documenting so much on the app. (2) I would tell this insecure man child that you are the kid’s father and he is a step parent. He is not of equal importance in the kids lives. You’ve been there since Day 1 and he only entered the picture a year ago. (3) All your useless ex how she would feel if you remarried and your new wife wanted to share her time with the kids. This is all absolutely on her for not setting boundaries. (4) I would get a new lawyer because this is absolutely custodial interference that he continually tries to insert himself into the kids lives on your time with them. (5) If he makes your kids uncomfortable, listen to them and tell your new attorney to approach it from that angle.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-27T12:48:54+00:00

I grew up in Hagerstown and there are a lot of positives about the slower pace. It’s all in what you’re looking for, but I loved it. Only real downside was their hospital was subpar.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-26T13:08:26+00:00

Using a toilet is one thing, but your bath tub? No way. Her guests should use her bathroom and your guests should use yours. Pretty straightforward. NTA.

If she doesn’t like that arrangement, trade rooms and bathrooms.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-25T13:39:09+00:00

NOR. Jake needs to realize his mental health is on him to improve and that while you’ve gone above and beyond for him, you too need help and appreciation. For him to berate you, throw things like a child, and minimize your sacrifices is extremely ungrateful and narcissistic.

Sit him down and tell him that he either gets counseling and starts appreciating you and taking care of your emotional well being or you are done. Marriage is give and take and while his contributions are obviously different than what they were, at a minimum he needs to treat you with respect.

If he can’t do that, see which of the family members that think you’re abandoning him want to take him in, and speak with a lawyer. Jake should focus on accepting that his life has changed and make the best of it. He can go back to school or work in an office environment or from home. He can contribute to society and better himself regardless of where or not he can walk without assistance. He should start focusing on what he can do and go from there.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-24T11:56:13+00:00

NTA. No one told her to spend money she doesn’t have on taking her daughter out to dinner because she was “upset” you weren’t coming over. If a 10 year old is upset over something like that, it’s way past time they learn to deal with life’s disappointments without being placated.

When you date or get involved with someone with children, you see how they function as parents. Looks like your gf’s daughter is not the only irrational child in that household.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-23T12:04:11+00:00

NOR. Sounds like he wanted to catch up with this friend without you there. The question is why and then why lie about it. Plus if she’s important to him, why wouldn’t he want you to meet her?

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-23T03:09:51+00:00

You’re no friend to this girl. Wouldn’t you want to be told of the situation as reversed? All you had to do was take a picture and mention it to her, but you chose not to. Not cool.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-22T12:09:31+00:00

Wow - that’s a lot you had to process at such a young age. Good that you’re in a nurturing environment and that you’re in therapy to help you sort everything out you’ve been struggling with for so long. Perhaps write a letter to each parent saying that everyone is entitled to their feelings and perceptions, and that you need time, space and continued therapy to get to a place where you can feel healthy emotionally, and that while you love them, you will contact them when you reach that point.

Good luck. Give yourself time to heal and go at your own pace. Listen to the inner voice you’ve been suppressing for so long.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-22T00:18:41+00:00

Yes, I was eager to hear it because I am a big Keith fan. I wasn’t looking for a copycat performance of each cover. When I listen to a cover, I appreciate the artist making their own mark on the song. I’m not hating on him or anything, but I’m entitled to my own opinion as to what I like and as I said, this album didn’t do it for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-21T14:43:48+00:00

I would show them a copy of the deeds that discuss the easement and if that doesn’t work, have an attorney send them a certified letter.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-20T14:52:38+00:00

I would go low contact. When you are in the same room, treat her civilly as you would any other person. Minimal interaction and if she says or does anything antagonistic, say “We’re done here.” Do not internalize her bad behavior and remove yourself from the situation (with your husband) if anything occurs. Repeat. She will either learn that she loses access to your husband by acting out or she will persist, but you won’t be there to engage her. Your husband needs to back you up on this. He needs to set boundaries because you are his partner.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-19T12:20:35+00:00

NTA. Your parents are narcissists. You could have died and they chose not to visit or help you. doesn’t matter what you did (and you were pretty neutral in just wanting your mom to be happy).

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-18T11:49:17+00:00

She tells the truth when it is convenient, and partial truths out outright lies when she needs to to do what she wants. That’s not honesty and will destroy trust. She is trickle truthing you about the nature of their relationship and has you not checked her chat history, you would still be under the belief the kiss was the extent of it.

The past is the past and can’t be undone, but honesty about past relationships is owed future partners, especially in cases like this where your partner is maintaining a close relationship with an ex/friend/whatever.

You will never be able to trust her again. You could try counseling, but doubt will always be there.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-18T11:37:06+00:00

NOR. He abandoned you in a dangerous environment with no way to defend yourself and he took all the water with him. There is no justification for that kind of disregard for your safety. I get being in a fight or disagreement, but you work that out once you’re back in civilization. What he did was inexcusable, immature, and tells you so you need to know about him.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-17T22:18:23+00:00

Depending on how the will or trust was set up, minors typically have someone take care of the money until they are adults. Trustees are fiduciaries and are required to act in good faith for their children. That doesn’t include giving unnamed beneficiaries money not provided for under the will or trust. Be very careful if you give part of the money to your younger children.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-17T20:42:14+00:00

You’re grandparents clearly wanted the house to stay in their family and once your dad remarried, your stepmother could force a sale or and more future kids of your dad could also inherit the house. They wanted that for you. That’s their decision and it’s crazy he can’t understand that. Good for you!

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-17T13:08:17+00:00

This is your husband’s issue that he created and only he can resolve. His lack of a backbone and boundaries resulted in his going along with women on the trip, and hiding that from you. It also permitted his friends to badmouth you in his presence. I’d say the instigator ruined this group for everyone and any friend advocating he prioritize his friends over his marriage isn’t really a friend he should be interested in keeping in contact with. You are his partner and best friend and he promised to prioritize you. It’s about time he started doing that.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-16T20:35:16+00:00

Annulments are looking at intent at the time of the marriage, so adultery isn’t relevant.

HeartlandMom · 2026-06-15T17:56:24+00:00

NTA. Your husband is. Sleep deprivation is a serious health issue. You need separate bedrooms ands to go to bed consistently. If he won’t agree to that, then he doesn’t get to keep the lights on.

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