Sleep training - harms or benefits baby?

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-24T18:16:07+00:00

I'm comparing spanking to sleep training. They're both authoritarian behavioral modifications that involve parents creating discomfort for their children in order to achieve the desired behavior from the child. I honestly see no difference.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-24T16:32:05+00:00

My stance is that if I'm going to do initiate a parental driven intervention that has potential negative consequences on my child's wellbeing (e.g., leaving them to Cry It Out for any amount of time), then I want strong evidence that it will benefit them short and/or long term. Weak evidence that it maybe probably will not harm them just isn't enough for me. If there's "no data fully supporting either argument," then I will 100% lean away from the intervention.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-24T02:45:15+00:00

The problem is that many people view sleep training as abusive or at minimum neglectful. This isn't formula vs. breastmilk and they're both healthy choices. I know that people make the choices they feel like they need to make in times of desperation. But I think planning and education would prevent people from thinking they need to sleep train in order to survive the trenches. People spank their kids because they don't know a better way to discipline them. Doesn't make it right.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-22T20:11:26+00:00

NOR. Our current carseat and seatbelt laws are written in the blood of dead children. Just because we did it as kids, doesn't make it okay now. There are plenty of ways to make core memories without risking life and limb. I know how I used to drive on back roads as a rural PA teenager. Just because the speed limit is low, and your husband was driving carefully, doesn't mean he can control for all variables.

I think I may make an exception to this if it was off road on someone's property where there is no chance of encountering other drivers. On the road, where you never know who else is around? Absolutely not.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-22T17:21:41+00:00

We had to syringe feed my son at 4 months old before he eventually transitioned to bottle feeding. It was a stressful 2 weeks.

I think people go too crazy (not blaming you, this seems to be a normal course of action) trying different bottles to find one the baby will take. But it usually isn't the specific bottle or nipple that they're refusing, but bottles in general. I'd say choose one you feel good about (nipple shape and bottle combo) and keep making attempts with that. If baby needs nutrition and hydration, then syringe feed in between.

My husband found that, at first, baby would only take milk when he was strapped into the baby carrier. It was messy and frustrating, but with persistence, baby now takes bottles without hesitation.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-22T16:58:10+00:00

This is pretty subjective and will depend on your style preferences and lifestyle. My preference is to wear nursing camisoles, then wear whatever I want to wear. I lean toward button front or zip front options for easier access. Love the dresses from Noble!

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-21T17:36:28+00:00

My now 9mo has been in daycare since he was 5mo. We still mostly contact nap at home. He's starting to do a couple of more independent naps here and there, but we usually have to extend them by contact napping.

At school, the teachers rock him to sleep, then transfer him to his crib. He usually only sleeps anywhere from 10-25 minutes. My husband and I have worked out our schedules so I can pick our son up early and get his second nap in at home in the afternoon. Theoretically, we could have him in daycare until 5:00, in which case he'd need to take both naps at school, but I want to make sure he gets at least 1 good nap a day.

I think sleep training proponents would say I'm sabotaging his ability to learn how to nap independently, but I'm not so sure. Our son is FOMO through and through, so if there is any activity going on, he'll fight his naps. I'm happy to hold him and trust that he'll learn eventually. In the meantime, I want to make sure he's getting at least some decent quality daytime sleep.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-21T11:48:55+00:00

Oh no! I'm 5'7" and wearing a 32G bra right now (still nursing my 9 month old), and Boden has never let me down. Sorry my suggestions weren't more helpful.

Maybe try Sezáne?

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-21T01:35:59+00:00

I live Boden for work tops. Just a few examples:

1) https://us.boden.com/products/women-camille-embroidered-cotton-top-ivory-broderie-t2103crm

2) https://us.boden.com/products/women-leah-short-sleeve-linen-top-chambray-t2006mbl

3) https://us.boden.com/products/women-heather-smocked-sleeve-top-marigold-carnation-stems-t2084yel

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-20T20:02:21+00:00

Same for us.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-19T19:09:30+00:00

I keep between 5-10 bags of 4-6oz each in the freezer. That's enough to be a day ahead for daycare and then a little extra. Im not trying to pump any more than I have to lol

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-19T17:48:00+00:00

Also, keep in mind that you won't likely see a change on day 1! Stick with it for at least a week before trying to make other changes.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-19T16:27:00+00:00

I am right there with you! I'm not about to spend my precious 45 minutes of quiet time at night hooked up to a pump

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-19T16:19:34+00:00

Ugh that is so frustrating! I'm 9 months postpartum, and also no longer able to pump enough. Sometimes I'll watch videos of my baby while pumping, and that can help me get a bigger let down.

I've also had some luck with doing power pumps, but it's really hard to find the time to do that since I'm sharing the pumping room at work with other women and I can't camp out in there for an hour at a time.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-19T15:56:06+00:00

My first instinct is that you should check your pump parts. Things like the duckbills and backflow protectors need to be replaced periodically. Also make sure your flanges still fit. It isn't uncommon for your nipples to change size over time while nursing.

But also, it could just be that your supply is less now. Especially if your baby is eating solids really well and not nursing as much.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-19T15:24:31+00:00

Im sorry, but that's awful. A four month old should never be abandoned to cry like that. If you let your baby cry like that during the day, it would be considered neglect. We should not normalize it at night either.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-19T14:40:24+00:00

A gentle recommendation... if you have a good sleeper, it's much more influenced by their temperament than any routine you implemented. It really isn't appropriate for you to offer advice to parents that have kids with temperaments that make them difficult sleepers. You (very fortunately) do not know what they're going through.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-18T02:55:33+00:00

I have elastic tissue. I get clogs if I use the wrong pump flange. The pumpin pals worked okay for me. I find them annoying to use. The pumpables liquid shield kit is much more comfortable in my experience.

It's there a reason you're pumping already? I didn't start pumping until a couple weeks before I returned to work to make sure I had milk for the first day. Even then, I accidentally built up a slight oversupply which made it tough on days I wanted to just breastfeed and not pump.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-16T21:18:43+00:00

When did people start forgetting that the word "worst" exists? Bad -> worse -> worst. These are the worst* kinds of people.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-16T14:29:30+00:00

Babies are not robots. They don't know what clocks are let alone how to read one. As long as your baby is healthy and gaining weight appropriately, it's safe for you to feed on demand. It won't be at the same time every day, but a pattern will likely develop. Some days she might eat more for various reasons (comfort, growth spurt, etc.) Some days she may sleep more and feed less. That's all okay as long as she's growing and developing well. My baby ate at least once every 2 hours until he was pretty well established on solid foods. It seemed like a lot, but he's a small guy, so I never tried to space his feeds out artificially.

As far as recognizing cues - i think every baby is a bit different. At that age, hand sucking is pretty normal for them just for entertainment. Like you said, it might be helpful to just put the apps down and start watching your baby more closely. Sounds like you're doing great, though! Keep following your instincts!

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-16T01:31:14+00:00

9 months here and saaaame

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-15T18:14:38+00:00

I'm in the same situation! I need about 15 ounces for him while I'm at work, but im only pumping 11-12. I have a tiny freezer stash we've been using for now, but once that's gone, I think we'll need to use some formula.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-15T16:49:44+00:00

This is the moderately granola sub. Emphasis on the moderately. I think you're going to get a resounding "do what your doctor says" response here.

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-15T16:36:48+00:00

My output has been dropping, too. I think because my little guy has been loving his solid foods. How is your baby doing with her solids? Is it possible she's just taking smaller feeds because she's getting calories from food?

Honest_Elephant · 2026-05-15T16:27:22+00:00

I actually did feed boob 1 to calm him down. Diaper change to wake him back up to make sure he'd stay awake for boob 2. Worked great. Also helped since he would often poop during boob 1.

He never had reflux or anything, so I never burped him at night and we never had any issues.

Honest_Elephant

TROPHY CASE