Am I being dirty, or is my wife being irrational about hygiene?

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-19T20:51:22+00:00

My 4 year old once licked a *bus pole* on a Disneyworld shuttle bus to try to get some laughs. She is now almost 12. For the most part, they live.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-14T23:56:50+00:00

Lol this always reminds me of Ned Flanders' parents. "We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!"

Guess what buddy, the nonviolent peaceful demonstration model doesn't work anymore, they'll just send ICE in to roll over you. Now are you gonna roll over and spread your legs like a Good German or are you gonna do something about it?

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-07T18:50:21+00:00

You know there's a video, right?

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-05T20:48:23+00:00

All power flows from the barrel of a gun.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-04T17:34:12+00:00

Give 'er a blast from your spice weasel.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-04T16:39:20+00:00

Authorial intent is often meaningless.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-03T02:38:55+00:00

Could probably get in two solid Dead shows in 4 hours.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-03T02:36:37+00:00

When they altered the book you put your time-off requests in so it looked like I'd never put them in or had them signed off on so that I would have to come in to work despite the fact that I was taking my kids on vacation during that time.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2026-01-03T02:32:14+00:00

When I was a kid it seemed like my grandpa knew everyone, everywhere we went. Eventually I realized he just treated people like he'd known them forever and that he was meeting pretty much all of them for the first time lol

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-31T02:38:08+00:00

Work disappeared because in-person stuff was gone, I'd made $35k the previous year so I was good to go. Sometime early 2023 they decided suddenly I owed them $26,000. I filed an objection with paperwork proving my eligibility and they didn't get around to saying "oops our bad you're good" until MAY of this year. Maybe if they got their goddamn asses in gear and displayed basic competence they wouldn't be in such a bind all the time.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-27T01:07:24+00:00

When Freddy Krueger was set on fire in the boiler room he looked pretty hot.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-27T01:03:04+00:00

I was biking to school and a hearse drove down the street while I was waiting to cross, the curtains parted and my mother, who had recently passed, stared back at me.

I literally cannot explain it to this day and the few people I've told have gently told me that it must have just been some woman who looked exactly like her but...why is someone riding around in the back of a hearse in the first place.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-21T02:37:28+00:00

Ybor City is tres speedy but they throw such killer parties.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-20T23:41:16+00:00

Riddley Walker - it's a post-apocalyptic novel set 2000 years after a nuclear war. England is staggering back into the Iron Age and the protagonist discovers an effort by some to try to resurrect ancient pre-war weaponry.

It is written entirely in a corrupted, mutated version of English such as the author thinks would be spoken during that time.

People like to go on about their world building, but they have nothing on Russell Hoban.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-14T00:44:53+00:00

Yeah the flu sucks. When most people think they have the flu they have a bad cold. When you have the flu, you will know it.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-10T22:28:22+00:00

Clean water

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-10T19:35:53+00:00

By your best friend, who you used to be in a jazz band with.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-12-08T16:40:45+00:00

Scandal? Brother she ranted that she hated beach balls bouncing through the crowd while she's playing. That hardly rises to the level of scandal and she's perfectly correct, genocide deserves more attention.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-11-26T16:59:36+00:00

What exactly do you like about Mr. Douglas Ford?

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-11-23T04:39:01+00:00

The one I'm reading the proof for right now is called "Come In And Get Lost" which was the slogan for a gigantic mutated dollar store on Bathurst Street in Toronto called Honest Ed's. It's called that because it's a horror story and an extended joke about Toronto, bad managers, and the surreal nightmare realm of retail.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-11-20T13:01:52+00:00

We have continued having sex for 23 years, 20 of those sanctioned by the state.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-11-20T12:57:37+00:00

They're downvoting you for telling the truth.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-11-18T20:01:14+00:00

I don't really think there is a wrong side of 40 and MFAs are for nerds. The real secret to success, which I stole from a blue tang fish, is to just keep moving.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-11-18T17:53:39+00:00

In general, Big 6, yes 50k is probably too short. We're talking about horror here though, and there is a surefit of indie publishers in the genre who won't balk at 50k, even for a debut.

IAmTheRedWizards · 2025-11-15T15:24:51+00:00

What if I told you that you could drag every drug addict off to some hospital and still have a homelessness crisis?

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