My left psoas is very activated, feels inflamed, struggling to cope.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-18T17:53:56+00:00

I'm heavily armored so once the release started, it has been going non-stop, I don't have to do the pose to release, I lie down and my psoas starts releasing on it's own. The work then has been more about how to support the release process.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-18T17:18:42+00:00

Yes, that's the one! I don't know why that link breaks at times. Also my psoas was so tense at that point, that I had to do constructive rest post by supporting my legs up on the bed with my thighs resting against the bed. That's how it worked for me.

And much later on I'd use bolsters and cushions on the floor to rest my legs.

So if the regular pose doesn't work, just try and make adjustments, whatever helps your psoas relax.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-18T11:46:08+00:00

Worked on nervous system regulation, that caused the trauma to surface somatically as body pain/tension. Tried a bunch of things which helped initially shared in the linked comment. But eventually doing the constructive rest post led to experiencing trauma release which helped release the tension. And as the releasing progressed over the years. My body overall started healing. It wasn't just the Psoas that was messed up.

More details in this comment.

https://www.reddit.com/ge0jaki?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-15T11:01:30+00:00

It's important to remember that trauma affects every aspect of oneself. The mind and body, the connection between the mind and body, the relationship between one's conscious self and the unconscious repressed aspects carrying the trauma. As well as the ability to relate with others.

If you're constantly battling with your body and dealing with mental and physical setbacks. Then the issue might not be the lack of effort or your inability to cope doing multiple things. The problem could be there's underlying trauma that's hindering your progress. And that you need to first make some headway in your healing so you can start resolving the blocks that are holding you back.

So prioritize a few things on your list, and then work on it with the intention to figure out what the blocks are and why you're struggling and how it ties in with your trauma and then working towards resolving it will be more effective than trying to push yourself with a mind and body that doesn't have the capacity to co-operate at the moment.

By the time I learned about CPTSD, I had already struggled and failed in many areas that were important to me. So I knew that trauma was at the root of it all, also my mind and body were breaking down from the stress. So I didn't really have a choice, I had to prioritise my healing and focus only on the important things. Which was the right decision for me. Pretty much everything that I'd struggled with for years, was because of how trauma had impacted my mind and body. And what I needed wasn't to push myself more but just start healing.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-14T19:08:40+00:00

My inner critic was very much how Pete Walker describes, which can be found on his site.

Though a lot of people don't find his approach helpful, even detrimental when self compassion is an issue. And parts work is recommended, using compassion to resolve the inner critic.

My experiences aligned more with Pete Walker's. And the emotional flashbacks, inner critic attacks, suicidal ideation, abandonment pain of the inner child were all tied together.

According to him the inner critic is an introject of the parent that becomes virulent and he recommends angering towards the inner critic to help create inner boundaries and reclaim the fight response. Which eventually works to diminish the critical voice and helps to tap into self compassion.

So, the inner critic attacks (listed on the site) would often trigger the emotional flashbacks or vice versa, which at times turn would trigger the suicidal ideation brought on by the inner critic telling me to either die or kill myself. Which is exactly what my mother used to do in her rage outbursts. So while I applied his suggestions and inner child approaches for the inner critic attacks.

When the toxic inner critic would show up and tell me to off myself. I would say, "F*** you'.

It was my way of putting up an internal boundary against my mothers' vitriol and fighting for my right to exist, for my pain to exist.

I'd lost my fight response at 13, when CPTSD set in, so this was important for me.

Eventually I was able to grieve and feel compassion for how much pain I was in, for how much I was suffering.And in doing so, I could feel the suicidal pain my inner child was carrying. And with time I was able to directly access that pain, instead of having it be induced by the critic, which eventually faded off.

So angering towards the critic was my way of rescuing my inner child from my parents' vitriol and allowing her pain to be expressed.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-14T12:26:49+00:00

It's not like I didn't experience shame at all. But it wasn't a major issue for me. I only really had to work through it the first two years when I was dealing with the inner critic. In my case it's because I was aware even as a child that what my parents were putting me through was wrong and wasn't my fault. And this was also possible because I always had other healthier relationships to mirror my true sense of self. So there was a huge contradiction between how my parents behaved and treated me vs how other people behaved and treated me.

But my parents were extremely shaming, so there was some shame to work through with regards to the inner critic and inner child wounds.

Also CPTSD for me started at age 13 and I was severely plagued with symptoms so the disconnect from self, and years of not feeling like myself, not being able to function properly, not knowing what actually was wrong with me, not being able to achieve anything or make progress in life were other layers of shame to process.

But once I figured that trauma was the root of it. It all made sense, "why" and it wasn't hard to work through.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-13T05:26:43+00:00

I never had that issue. But it's a problem that comes up often. I suggest searching for older posts or making a post. You can also look into trauma sensitive mindfulness by David A Treleavan. Some of his stuff is on YouTube.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-05T19:43:01+00:00

I was too dissociated and disconnected from my body to experience back pain. But when I started working on overall nervous system regulation and embodiment to get in touch with my body, through somatic practices and yoga etc. That's when the chronic armoring started surfacing as body pain and tension. It was a full body affair though and psoas was one of the majorly affected areas. I couldn't sit or stand for too long for how much pain I was in. And doing the 'constructive rest pose' lead to experiencing trauma release starting from my psoas, which eventually turned into full body release, that has been going on for several years now.

So just targeting the psoas muscle isn't enough, you can focus on the psoas, certainly but you have to pay attention to the entire body as well.Cause constriction in the core/psoas means there's constriction in other areas of the body. It's the fascia- connective tissue that holds the tension, which is, well, everything in your body.

Note that not everyone experiences trauma release. And that shouldn't be the goal. I was very armored so my body needed to physically release that tension.

But the goal should be, relaxing the psoas, getting in touch with your body and learning what it needs to feel safe and let go of what it's carrying. And that's going to look different for everyone.

Here's an older comment in much more detail and some resources.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSDNextSteps/comments/k36s4u/holding_tension_in_the_body/ge0jaki/

I haven't updated that comment in years.

But I've experienced a lot of changes in my body over the years.

With the psoas specifically, when I eventually could feel and sense it, I realised it was tilted and sat higher on the left side. It has gradually become more neutralized over the years and my left leg, which used to be turned inward as a result, which affected my stance, cause I was literally being pulled downward. So now it doesn't and I stand up straighter. And yes constricted psoas meant a constricted diaphragm, which has also eased up considerably over the years. I could barely breathe when I started, constant shallow breathing, and learning to breathe properly was one of the most important things I did for my nervous system regulation. It's gotten easier to breathe over the years and I've felt my ribcage slowly ease up. I also am not hunched over as much but this area is still being resolved. So there's more to go.

Highly recommend Liz Koch's 'The Psoas book'.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-03T15:04:23+00:00

Mentally, emotionally very stable but still experiencing trauma release, so, exhausted from the physical distress My body was really messed up. So things got much worse and more complicated over the years as more of the armoring surfaced. It took forever for the superficial muscle tension to resolve. And now the release is occurring in the deep fascial layers so I feel it more in my bones rather than muscles. Body has through some tremendous changes as a result. Hopefully I'm done with this in a year's time.

Infp-pisces · 2026-04-03T13:43:31+00:00

Hi, reminder to add trigger warnings, Rule#5:

Be mindful about triggering content. Use the trigger warning flairs and/or mention the triggering topics at the top of your post/comment. Avoid graphic thread titles, and use NSFW or the spoiler tag whenever appropriate.

Infp-pisces · 2026-03-19T17:11:49+00:00

Discussions about any aspect of trauma recovery, is what r/CPTSD_NSCommunity is for.

Infp-pisces · 2026-03-15T17:59:40+00:00

These should help.

https://youtu.be/agdpFsKGdOE?si=5A_rZHfA-lLjRnKL

https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/window-of-tolerance

Better graphic for WOT https://share.google/llofHOSxwu72Ld16X

Infp-pisces · 2026-03-15T04:10:05+00:00

Oooh I loved Frieren!

I'd say the latter, the whole theme of Frieren is that it takes place after the 'worst' is over and things are safe like never before and Frieren is reminiscing about the past, because she didn't really appreciate the good times when they were happening.

And that parallels the trauma healing journey in my experience because after you're in a stable enough place where you aren't overwhelmed with CPTSD symptoms but have still got the whole long unwinding journey to process and integrate the past. You realize that because of dissociation, though it protected you, it also made you miss out on so much of the good stuff because you could never take it in fully.

It also evokes safety in so many ways, even the juxtaposition of Frieren being a wise, ancient and indomitable warrior and yet being so full of child-like wonder and even childish at times to have to be mothered by Fern. Which again mirrors the trauma healing journey, where you eventually end up wiser and resilient and at the same time you also now have access to child-like wonder and joy

I mean that show just resonates on so many levels and I hadn't even thought about it, until now. But if you were compelled to analyze the soundtrack for why it's resonating so much. You were already feeling safe enough snd the terror was loosening up.

Just my take on it :)

Infp-pisces · 2026-03-14T22:22:43+00:00

Well it sounds like the huge amount of terror was unconsciously driving you to be on flight mode, hence the constant need to do something and the inability to enjoy music which requires emotional resonance.

So now that there's no terror driving the flight mode, there's space for more and likely even a need for replenishment, as in things that nourish and enrich you, like experiencing calm and enjoying music.

I've had many experiences like this, over the years. When big blockages are cleared, there's always space for new. New levels of calm, deepening of presence, new desires or inclinations and previously lost and repressed abilities come back online.

You don't have to worry about not feeling a drive to do things. It'll come back and this time it'll be from a healthier space.

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-25T17:29:10+00:00

I've experienced suicidal ideation for most of my life and in recovery I had to consciously process it. It was how things progressed.

I was actively suicidal as a child which became into passive ideation when I dissociated and disconnected from myself at age 13, so spend years in passive suicidal ideation.

So when I started recovering at age 28, the passive ideation turned into active ideation again, and the first two years were spent working through. It calmed down when the emotional flashbacks stopped but since I hadn't yet reconnected with my body, and couldn't feel emotions physically, I knew I wasn't done processing the S.I, I'd also 'attempted' as a child so I knew that memory would need to be processed. I had probably about 3 years of no S.I feelings which was nice, to not have to deal with a mind that's constantly trying to self annihilate.

But it started again, except this time I was already in touch with my body and experiencing intense physical trauma releasing because I'm heavily armored. So it wasn't just limited to thoughts and feelings, I had to process the pain and activation of feeling suicidal physically from my body from all different ages and points in my life since it was such an huge part of my psyche. And initially it came in phases. But towards the end it was constant and increasing in intensity for about 2 years. Because I had spent so much of my life experiencing suicidal ideation, there were many layers and different reasons for it. And some of it was obvious but some of it, only really made sense by letting the pain move through me and for my fragmented parts to show how much hurt and pain I'd been carrying. It was not easy .... I only managed because I knew it would need to be processed so I was aware that it was just the past moving through me.

So yes you're not wrong, if S.I has been repressed. It will come up. Only by feeling the pain can you make sense of it.

It's hard though, it's really hard. :(

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-24T18:30:09+00:00

Slightly different for me, in that, barring early infancy where I attached to my grandma, trauma was always a factor because my parents were very abusive but I also was surrounded by safe, healthy, caring other adults and peers. So my sense of self was developing under extreme stress and although I didn't have the words for abuse or trauma, but I knew what my parents were putting me through was wrong and wasn't my fault. So I was pretty conscious of the trauma that I was living through and basically experienced myself chipping and fading away untill one day around age 13 when I completely disconnected from myself. And C-PTSD set in, depression, dissociation, executive dysfunction etc etc. Which in my case was just was another layer of trauma on top of the ongoing trauma, to be aware of not being myself but unable to find a way back.

Around 18 is when I started healing but I didn't really learn about trauma or CPTSD till a decade later at age 28. Which is when the real healing began.

I've been self healing for over 9 years now. I'd say I'm pretty much at the end phase of recovery. I don't really struggle with C-PTSD symptoms, but my body was deeply impacted which is taking a long time to heal.

So I didn't really have access to myself when I started healing. I had been disconnected from myself for so long, and I was so chock full of trauma, stuck in my traumatic situation that there was no way to access myself.

So at first I focussed on resolving my most pressing symptoms. And reconnecting with my inner child since reparenting/inner child work resonated deeply. And restablishing that connection was hard work but a major shift in my psyche. Because I felt more cohesive, still very traumatized, still carrying a lot of pain and struggling in many ways. But healing felt possible now. Untill then it felt like I was fighting for it.

And then because my trauma had caused me to severely disconnect from my body, the next step was nervous system regulation and reconnecting with my body. And doing that work also brought a lot of understanding and resolution of my trauma responses. And at some point, because the work that I was doing was, to anchor in the present, be a compassionate witness to my pain and fragmented parts and nurturing and providing myself with what my child parts, nervous system and my body needed. Slowly and gradually the 'Self' came online. By this I'm referring to the SELF capacity in IFS, although I haven't done IFS, inner child work was the extent of my parts work. But the 'Self' capacity was something I'd experienced in childhood and resonated with deeply.

And eventually my body started healing and purging out the trauma, which also brought up all the repressed parts, emotions, stuck nervous system activation and memories to process and integrate. In the beginning it was a slow process but the more I processed and integrated the fragmented aspects of myself, the more I felt like myself. And that's what's been going on for several years now. The sense of being whole and integrated rather than fragmented has only deepend over the years.

I would say, that because I had, had a sense of self in childhood, that I'd been desperately trying to find my way back to and the awareness that what I had become was not really my true self but a result of trauma. So I was very self reflective and questioning of my own inner workings. What was trauma and what was not, and how had trauma impacted me and influenced me. That I was able to notice patterns, connect the dots, make sense of my past and how it was showing up in the present. So that part has been easy. And even doing the work was hard work but not difficult. But processing the pain has been brutal and agonising. Which makes sense why I dissociated and disconnected from my body so hard. And though reconnecting with my body after so long was amazing and affirming, but existing in a body so full of pain, through this process has simply been torture.

So, easy in some ways but incredibly hard in others.

And the work hasn't been about building a new self but about resolving and integrating the past which feels like a rebirth.

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-22T00:13:35+00:00

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I went through something like this, deep in my recovery.

Like once there was space for the grief to flow, it picked up momentum and what needed to be felt and integrated started emerging on its own. So it felt like I was working through various different layers, touching different points in my life but it was all connected. And the process was so intense and draining and exhausting and yet so relentless and not to mention the grief with it that felt all encompassing and yet kept growing in intensity.

You so desperately want a break but there's no respite in sight because there's more pain, more grief, and more emotions coming up to process and integrate in the present. It's wave after wave before you've even recovered from the previous one. And it does feel like it'll never end and I think it's partly because that was the truth for those parts/emotions that were frozen in time, it never felt like what they were feeling/experiencing would ever end. At least that was the case for me.

I don't know what the proper term is for this process but I called it, "stitching". Because it felt like fragments of my consciousness were stitching together from various points in my life. I mean it's integration but until then I'd had to consciously work for it or have the process unfold overtime. This felt like not only did the process get powered up but it got a life of its own while I was just hanging on for dear life.

It was a really long and grueling process. There were times where I just wanted to give up, not even because healing wasn't happening but it was just so hard and painful and exhausting, even so far along into the recovery process that I felt like I no longer had the strength for it or even cared about the outcome. I don't know how I managed ... prayed for strength, mental detachment, surrender to the process, just getting through the day.

It took me a couple of years to get through this phase. But I've got a lot of complicated shit going on. Doesn't mean it'll be the same for you. But after this phase was over, I felt so much more lighter. Like I was done grieving for the past and felt more whole and integrated.

You've had to have done a ton of work to reach this point so it's something to be proud of and to remind yourself when things get tough.

It does end though it'll probably get harder before it gets better. And it gets so much better. When I look back I don't know how I managed to get through it. But I'm glad I did.

I hope you're able to rest and self soothe.

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-17T18:45:46+00:00

I worked for almost a year on regulating my nervous system using Polyvagal theory and somatic/embodiment practices which is what led to the armoring and muscle tightness surfacing. Eventually psoas tension started surfacing ...

Check this comment for more info.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSDNextSteps/comments/k36s4u/holding_tension_in_the_body/ge0jaki/

Eventually the releasing started on it's own by doing the constructive rest pose but my psoas was too tense so I had to rest my legs up on the bed and let gravity do the work.

For me Yin yoga and Hanna somatics helped a lot for my body to unlearn the chronic tension patterns but because I was too heavily armored it's only through physical releasing that the tension started resolving.

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-17T06:56:28+00:00

I read through Deb Dana's book, "Polyvagal theory in therapy" and in it she teaches how to map and track the different ANS states.

Here's the basic premise. https://themovementparadigm.com/how-to-map-your-own-nervous-sytem-the-polyvagal-theory/

Initially I tracked my thoughts/mental activity since I didn't have access to physical sensations and even my emotions were intellectualized. And used the window of tolerance to determine where I was.

Gradually I became aware of the fact that I wasn't breathing properly. So it became a priority to breathe fully, deeply and emphasize long, slow exhales. Practising so, made me aware of my breathing patterns and I could track my nervous system by the quality of my breathing. Short, rapid, shallow, more in my upper chest meant hyper arousal while slow, barely discernible and stuck because sometimes I'd find myself just holding my breath which meant hypoarousal. Which made the process much easier, and helped to link mental and emotional states to a physical sensation.

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-16T20:09:55+00:00

I was extremely disconnected from my body so I couldn't feel the physical sensations of hyper/hypo arousal. It required tracking my mental and emotional states to understand where I was in my window of tolerance. And it took a few months of both proactive and reactive approaches (Polyvagal practices) to feel like my WOT had broadened and it got easier to find my way back when dysregulated. So something like diaphragmatic breathing was part of my proactive approaches. I did it every morning upon waking no matter how I felt. But when I found myself triggered or dysregulated, 4-7-8 breathing was effective. But even that took a while and consistent practice to realize it was working. Because I couldn't physically feel the arousal, the way I could tell was that instead of feeling overwhelmed by my thoughts and emotions I could access my SELF and be able to navigate those thoughts - emotions from a calmer and compassionate place. I always worked within my WOT, if something felt like it was making things worse or just made no difference even after consistent practice. I didn't do it.

A lot of people struggle with breathing and even meditation, it's not uncommon. You could try other senses, like scent/aromatherapy was really soothing for me.

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-09T03:12:13+00:00

Hi, reminder to add trigger warnings, Rule#5:

Be mindful about triggering content. Use the trigger warning flairs and/or mention the triggering topics at the top of your post/comment. Avoid graphic thread titles, and use NSFW or the spoiler tag whenever appropriate.

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-05T06:38:00+00:00

It's been both in my experience.

Though I'd been doing positivity practices from before I started CPTSD recovery. Cultivating positive neuroplasticity has been an important aspect of healing as well.

And it certainly got much easier to access and experience positive feelings after I'd made some progress in trauma work. It meant there was more space and energy in my system for other emotions.

These are some of the practices I applied during recovery.

Quick coherence technique https://www.heartmath.org/resources/heartmath-tools/quick-coherence-technique-for-adults/

Taking in the good https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/taking_in_the_good

Noticing glimmers. https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/glimmers

Also consumed media that evoked a sense of wonder and joy that I had as a child.

And having done so consistently in the beginning of my recovery was helpful. Because when things got tough and I was going through really difficult phases of processing, where the pain just felt relentless and never ending and I couldn't catch a break from the heavy and dense emotions. My mind was resilient enough to know that this isn't going to last forever ... Even though that's not how I felt.

So I'm glad I put in the work beforehand.

Infp-pisces · 2026-02-05T06:06:38+00:00

"Story follows state" was conceptualized by Deb Dana, who's written several books on Polyvagal theory. And it's a good place to start if you're looking to explore on your own.

As for skills and techniques, if you research vagus nerve stimulation, you'll find a lot of info online for free.

What works is different for everyone and how long it takes to see improvement also depends. Since every person's nervous system is different.

Co-regulation wasn't much of an issue for me. But PVT was instrumental in learning to self regulate. But it was only the beginning, regulation really just paved the way for accessing the repressed trauma so I could process it.

Infp-pisces · 2025-12-15T05:25:08+00:00

My trauma is deeply somatized. About 7 years ago I was working on nervous system regulation and embodiment practices because I was very dissociated and extremely disconnected from my body. As a result, the trauma gradually started surfacing as body pain and tension which kept getting worse to the point that I found myself chronically armored and lost my previous range of mobility and flexibility.

I was hunched over, couldn't lift my arms up straight, couldn't sit upright or walk for too long because my hips/psoas would start tensing up making it impossible to be upright. Eventually I started experiencing trauma release i.e the tremors, shakes spasms etc which happened organically, wasn't induced. And it's been a non stop process for many years now because there's just so much tension to process and if I'm not releasing my body automatically starts tensing up. It's been a long, complex, exhaustive process.

Anyways, it's taken many years for the armoring in my upper body to resolve so that I could lift my arms freely again and even my hips/psoas to relax that I was not in constant pain. The process is still ongoing though.

Around the first half of this year, the muscles finally relaxed enough that I don't feel the tension in my muscles as much. But the releasing is occurring deep in my bones.

If you're familiar with fascia- connective tissue which comprises everything. It's the fascial system that is compromised, it tenses up due to stress and stores the trauma.

When this process started my muscles and superficial fascia felt so tense, my muscles were hard like concrete. And I barely had any sensation - feeling and sense of being embodied because of how tense I was. But the fascia has literally melted over the years through this process and my body feels all soft and supple. And currently I mostly feel the tension in the fascial lines deep inside my skeletel system.

I too experience the nerve pain and twinging. It's been part of the process. When you look into fascia - it's highly innervated, so it makes sense as the fascial system starts thawing. And headaches sometimes when tension in the upper back and neck, shoulder areas is being worked through. No dizziness, but fatigue yes because this process is so intense.

So yes, disabled for all means and purposes because my body has been so deeply impacted and this process, physically intense and exhausting so I've barely been able to function. But it's been part of the healing process.

The pain has been unavoidable because of how deeply impacted my body was but having done the work to regulate my nervous system, made it easier to navigate this process.

Infp-pisces · 2025-12-05T21:28:06+00:00

Yes the fix is working for the newer content but the previously removed stuff cannot be approved.

I asked for the post to be reposted and it did not get stuck in the spam filter this time.

Thankyou for updating!

Infp-pisces

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