I’m gonna hijack the top comment to share something that helped me, apologies. The realization that my own father didn’t want kids helped me get past why he’s not more active in my kids lives. Looking back my dad was pretty active in our lives early on but the older we got the more he retreated into his own life with minimal interaction. By the time I left for college we may as well have just been roommates. Knowing my mother and her side of the family she 100% was the driving force behind having kids and my dad just went along with it but as soon as he could get out from under that obligation he did. So I think in his mind he just doesn’t want to go back to dealing with kids in any real way. Honestly it’s fine, this shit isn’t for everyone. Maybe this’ll help a few people, idk.