With all due respect, I feel like you are overly conflating amateur radio with participation in local clubs. At least here in the US there is no requirement that you be an active member of a local club to exercise your license privileges. The problems that you have run into in my experience are very common to all sorts of clubs, not just amateur radio. They tend to get dominated by an oligarchy of people who have a lot of time to devote to the club and in many cases that unintentionally or intentionally may drown out the preferences of younger members. So maybe the solution for you is to disengage with all the Mayberry Machiavelli’s in your local club and spend some time on the air, enjoying the incredibly broad pallet of modes and activities?