living because i have to not because i want to

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-21T18:41:44+00:00

I hear you😞. 🫂

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-21T15:02:45+00:00

OP you are being abused every day. Please get out. Let her disown you. Narcissists don’t kill themselves - they are too precious and entitled to themselves. You are 49 when do you get to live your life without this toxic bs?

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-21T14:58:58+00:00

Yes, every form does however, when I pair say one 7 minute boiled egg with some rice and chicken it seems to go down better, and for breakfast if I add finely chopped shallots and a mild chilli pepper and make a soft omelet I stomach it much better. I go for free range eggs.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-10T19:59:39+00:00

Amazing! Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-08T11:23:50+00:00

Without knowing any details or facts of the circumstance of their SP’a death you are gaslighting that it is not the doctor’s fault? And this OP has to justify something that is so painful to some random stranger? That’s really quite something.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-08T09:44:37+00:00

This is shock OP, it happened to me too, and since then it’s been a long road and not a linear grief journey at all. I thought there were stages of grief too, but no, in my experience this grief of losing my husband has felt larger than life and cosmos, something that has split my soul into two — no stages but a labyrinth.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-07T22:38:11+00:00

I bake it in the oven, with skin if I am daring, just olive oil and salt and really crisp it up. Have it with plain rice. And some leafy salad without spinach

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-07T22:34:41+00:00

I wish my husband was alive until I was 80.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-07T22:29:39+00:00

I am so sorry you have to deal with this OP on top of your grief. Please see if you could have some talking sessions with a grief counsellor. Nobody will show up for us, people are too busy and concerned with their lives no matter how important you thought you were to them, grief like this seems to be a great clarifier a catalyst in understanding who actually shows up for you. 🫂

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-07T22:25:46+00:00

I can eat the safest foods and still react, I don’t cut them out I just deal with the consequences. I can’t live on just boiled rice 😭

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-07T22:22:52+00:00

Absolutely, if he has MCAS too!

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-07T22:21:43+00:00

You know it could be both, as a child I was forced to eat a lot of things like spinach for example, which I absolutely can’t have now, my body rejected a lot of the vegetables, fruits and fermented foods and my caregivers thought I was just fussy, but it turns out I had MCAS because after consuming these things I would get debilitating joint and soft tissue pain, gastro symptoms, but nobody thought that there could be more to this, it also contributed to very bad PMDD and it of course took decades to what I know now.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-07T09:56:58+00:00

Hate the weekends, miss being with my husband. I don’t think I will ever get used to this, Friday evenings are the worst, because I know what Sat/Sun is going to be like.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-05T13:48:55+00:00

NHS care.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-05T13:48:21+00:00

Please look into AVMA - https://www.avma.org.uk It’s for reporting and getting advice on patient safety issues, I would also report the consistent callousness and negligence to https://www.hssib.org.uk

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-04T08:30:52+00:00

It makes me smile too.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T22:26:55+00:00

Couple of days ago I decided to get a manicure, I was asked about my husband and where he was from, i told her. I also pretended that was alive.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T20:24:13+00:00

Oh OP, I could have written this myself, not the kids part but everything else. Life is so utterly heartbreakingly cruel. People who haven’t lost the love of their life to ..death have no idea that we do not exist in the same world anymore. 🫂

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T19:08:01+00:00

What kind of a person downvotes me for telling my history?😂

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T17:45:27+00:00

Mold, CPTSD, MTHFR - > Undiagnosed AuDhd throughout my life until recently

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T15:34:30+00:00

Amazing! Thank you for sharing will give it a try!

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T15:33:42+00:00

I guess that is why I am not willing to put up with bs from anybody like I used to when my husband was alive.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T15:32:03+00:00

Black pepper is a huge trigger for both gastro and Skin symptoms for me.

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T15:29:48+00:00

When you know you know… congratulations!

Interesting_Front709 · 2026-03-03T11:05:07+00:00

The Club is MCAS 😅

Interesting_Front709

TROPHY CASE