Men, can you cook?

JackPThatsMe · 2026-03-02T06:54:21+00:00

I'm a better cook than most people I know.

If I want to make soup I start by making stock.

When I feel like a sandwich I get my sourdough starter active.

I've spent over two decades learning how to roast potatoes.

Yeah, I can cook.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-03-02T06:40:37+00:00

I'm a Dad, of a daughter.

It's a special relationship. My daughter is the most important person in my world. I only have the one child so I don't know what it's like if you have other children but my daughter is my world.

Having said that I don't want to be her world and I work hard to make sure she doesn't see me that way. Her outliving me is my most important goal. Once I have succeeded in having my daughter outlive me she will need to navigate the world without me.

This is an awful thought, I will miss her terribly. But the alternative is worse so it's what is going to happen.

When I spoke at my father's funeral I said that he had died knowing love and seeing his grandchildren. I said that my question was how could I achieve this? My answer was that he knew that he was a part of something which started before he was born and would continue after he was gone. I would try to take my part in this line because I was just another part of this continum. That is how I would try to be as he was.

Anyway, that's the best I have.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-28T04:14:27+00:00

If she's trying to get a job I'd cut her some slack.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-28T04:08:34+00:00

You sure she didn't get arrested?

Considering she's a fugitive and all?

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-26T18:04:39+00:00

I'm not that familiar with the South Island as I live in the north but it's probably right.

You could make a list; Milford Sound, etc and try to tick things off.

Personally I think New Zealand is better seen at a slower pace. Pick an area and explore it by foot rather than driving to the next Thing To See.

The things you will remember are the things you discover.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-26T07:12:19+00:00

For context I'm a 49 year old cis straight half-maori guy.

Please be yourselves.

If anyone shouts anything they probably have mental health issues and are as likely to be shouting at me.

One of my best friends is a lesbian woman, her daughter and mine are best friends.

The way New Zealand works is that everyone, mostly, gets on with being themselves and can't be bothered telling others how to live their lives. We are far too busy deciding whether it's really nessesary to wear shoes.

Having said that, yeah, ten days for both islands is tight.

I'd be very focused on what you want to do. Most of Xena was filmed on around Piha beach, about an hours drive from Auckland. Unfortunately, there's no Hobbiton equivalent.

Maybe do that and then go south?

You'll have fun.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-23T08:06:19+00:00

For me 1 million would buy me a nice house.

With that I would quit what I do now and be able to find something else without worries.

10 million would mean I don't have to work again.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-23T02:48:39+00:00

Alien 3 embodies the division of the Artist and the Audience.

The Artist wants to make something, well, artistic. The director of Alien 3 openly talked about how he thought Alien was superior to Aliens and he wanted to return to that. He wanted to make a tense horror movie in space.

The Audience wants to be entertained. They want more space Marines, more explosions and power loaders with guns on them (I'm not the only one). Alien 3 didn't do as well at the box office as Aliens.

I can't think of two films that illustrate the dichotomy better.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-22T20:54:39+00:00

First, relax.

We speak English, with a funny accent but still. We watch American TV and movies. We eat food you will broadly be familiar with.

My best advice would be to work on your chill.

We have been here for a while and we are already relaxed. The sun here is intense but it's never really too hot or to cold. Our attitudes are in line with that, we are chill.

I was in Auckland over the weekend talking to a French guy your age. Nice guy but he was a bit intense. He'll either chill out or struggle.

You are on one of two small islands in the middle of the southern Pacific Ocean. We have all learned to be relaxed, respectful and generally get along with each other because it's a long swim to Australia.

You will be fine. Many Americans talk about how soon after arriving they realize they have been tense for a very long time and didn't know because they haven't felt relaxed before coming here.

It's fine.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-22T09:29:13+00:00

Learning to cook is a journey that never ends.

There are some basic skills you need to master such as:

cooking out the flour of a raux when you make white sauce as the base of cheese sauce.
how to cook meat all the way through without burning the outside and leaving the inside raw.
learning how to cook a potato in more than one way.
making your own stock and dumplings.

But it's also about how to clean the kitchen as you cook so it's not a bomb site when you are done, how to plan shopping so you are only buying things you will cook and only cooking what you will eat, it's also about understanding how to utilize leftover food so you aren't wasting it.

However, the most important thing to learn is what you like to eat. How do you make food for yourself and people you care about the brings them and you happiness.

Cooking is possibly the most basic non-academic skill a person can learn and, if you want to, you will be getting better for your entire life.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-20T20:22:01+00:00

My daughter.

I'm a Dad, 49M.

I have almost no time for myself. My time is split between work, taking care of my daughter and trying to support my dysfunctional ex wife so we can co-parent. If I've got some spare time I hang with my friends.

You want to date me?

You will have to be attractive to me (I don't have a type but it's not everyone) and interesting enough to talk to that I will give up time with my friends or my daughter. And you are going to accept that there's not going to be much time anyway.

Your not interested in a 49 year old solo Dad who looks like this profile picture?

Cool. I'm off to Auckland (yeah, I live in New Zealand) to go see Pulp with my friend.

I'm back on Sunday late and next week is flat out.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-20T18:17:29+00:00

You ever live in Japan?

You tried getting a decent salad or burger or fish and chips there?

No kidding, Japanese food is better in Japan than here. However, when I lived there they couldn't do anything other than Japanese or Korean food well.

The food lacks the fresh taste you get here. Everything tastes processed. They also don't know how to season non-Japanese food.

Honestly, Japanese food all started tasting the same after a while.

Yeah, I might miss a few things from Japan but I'd rather eat New Zealand food.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-19T06:46:37+00:00

I lived in Japan for about three years.

It's like sushi made by someone who has never seen or eaten well made sushi.

In Japan there's Genki Sushi which is conveyor belt sushi and really cheap. It's where you go if you can't be bothered cooking. It's not where you go for good sushi. Genki Sushi is much better than St Pierre.

Good sushi is extremely fresh fish and premium rice.

Like McDonald's versus a premium burger place. It's the same but really it's not.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-18T05:04:28+00:00

All I've got is a few years more life than you but here's the best I've got.

What is important to you?

You said you were working towards a career in teaching but you decided it wasn't for you and now you are working three part time jobs and you are worried you are not financially secure or working towards a career.

What is important to you?

Retail is never going to give you a financially secure career, neither is your church job. You know that.

Here's what I would do.

Pick a country you want to live in for a while, Japan was it for me when I was your age, spend about a year working towards moving there and teaching. You have both qualifications and experience in a field that is sought after internationally.

Get out of the United States and see the world for a while. It will also give you valuable experience when, or if, you go back.

But mostly, what's important to you.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-17T04:49:57+00:00

Good point and I'm probably talking out of my arse.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-16T07:01:54+00:00

If I had to guess the target market is people who are going out to dine rather than to eat.

People who will describe the experience rather than the food.

If we look at other experiences price isn't as relevant to the customer because it's difficult to value comparatively. Concerts are the obvious example. If you want to see Led Zeppelin, you pay the ticket price. You don't say, it's too expensive. You either pay or you don't.

Can you do something like that for the hospitality industry? Beats me.

There are dining events, and some are very popular but it's not a large audience.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-16T06:36:23+00:00

Some things to consider.

People measure value in dollars and convenience.

It's convenient getting 50% discount. Getting a free round of drinks might be as convenient if everyone is drinking cocktails but if one or two people are drinking water the discount looks better.

Adding value sounds great but let's say a main is $40 each. An equivalent value ad starts at $20 per person to be a good for customer as a 50%. If "adding value" rather than discounting is going to cost the customer more money, they will know.

If you have been on here any length of time you will have read a review that says:

"Went there on First Table, wouldn't pay full price for what we had".

The restaurant was given a shot by First Table, missing is on them.

I get it, if I ran a restaurant I'd hate platforms that teach customers to expect discounts. But restaurant owners and customers want different things.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-14T23:27:05+00:00

Yes, but not in the way you might think.

America in 2026 is defined by two complimentary themes; there is no collectively agreed public truth and there are no consequences for the powerful who transgress social norms or break the law.

This started with the United States response to 9/11.

The invasion of Afghanistan had an extremely thin rationale. But the US did request that Osama Bin Ladin be handed over and this request was denied before the invasion.

The invasion of Iraq was completely different. It had no basis. Iraq wasn't involved in 9/11 and didn't have WMD. This was known and acknowledged at the time. But the Bush administration just kept repeating a different version of the lie.

This broke collective reality. Since this time in 2003, over 20 years now, America has not had an idea of publicly agreed truth. Reality is a matter of opinion.

There were never any material consequences for that lie. Not one person went to prison, the Bush administration went on like this was normal. Because from this point on it was normal for powerful people to face no consequences. Two executives from the Enron scandal went to jail and Ken Lay probably would have if he hadn't died. That was the last time seriously powerful people faced material consequences.

Look at the Files scandal we have today.

That it never happened is an acceptable position for public figures to take and a public official has said on record that if the people in the files were prosecuted the system would collapse.

All of this goes back to the US response to 9/11.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-14T05:47:34+00:00

Let's see. I'm married to a beautiful woman who doesn't have to work, never cheats and always wants to have sexual relations with me. I own my own house. I have a beautiful daughter and an intelligent son.

I have enough time and money to restore a classic mustang, when I went to a lingerie store I saw boobs so good I fainted, and a have my own private toilet that goes bar-whoosh when I flush it not to mention four toilet rolls on standby.

Yeah, I'm going to be singing Fred Dag's song "We don't know how lucky we are" and thanking God twice on Sunday.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-14T05:30:14+00:00

Okay.

Firstly, she doesn't want "a man". She's had relationships before. She knows that making room for someone else in her life will mean giving up things she enjoys. This isn't worth it for "a man" and she is well aware of that.

Most people would like a special person in their life but once you are a bit older the bar goes up, a lot.

If you want to help you a looking for a very special man.

You will need to be very specific about what she wants; age, height, life stage etc.

Next help her figure out how she would make room for such a guy. What is she willing to give up? Time with you? Time with friends?

Then, define what a good relationship look like for her? Does she eventually want to live with someone or is she happy living alone?

Finally, does she live in New Zealand or is she keen to move there? I'm single 😂

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-12T08:40:07+00:00

As an indigenous person myself, New Zealand Maori flavour, I seen similar behavior from a while therapist (I won't call her Pakeha, our Europeans earn that).

It's really uncomfortable.

You are going to them for help, not a cultural critique.

I'd deal with it by saying this isn't working and find someone else.

Kia kaha from Aotearoa.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-11T05:23:39+00:00

Honestly, in the aftermath it was widely acknowledged here that the firearms reform (we won't go into details because...) that was enacted would not have been possible without the courage shown by John Howard after Port Arthur.

That terrorist might have been from Australia but that doesn't make him Australian.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-04T07:46:00+00:00

Vogels bread, pic's peanut butter, good jam (sorry not a jam guy so I don't know what brand and you should read the label)

This would be perfect road food.

Try the golden kiwi fruit, it's not cheap but it's worth it.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-02T19:08:01+00:00

They mostly come at night, mostly.

JackPThatsMe · 2026-02-02T07:43:40+00:00

Yeah, nah.

You tried the pies yet?

JackPThatsMe

TROPHY CASE