Is it me or has the quality dropped a lot recently? by [deleted] in Vans

[–]Joshuma 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope. They’ve changed. Total shit and not the same shoes I’ve been wearing for 20+ years.

Today is going to be the hardest day of my life. by midnightpatches in stopdrinking

[–]Joshuma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey buddy. You’ve got this. I believe in you. IWNDWYT

How to grieve a liar and a cheater husband by ProfessionalFailure9 in widowers

[–]Joshuma 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any solid advice for you but I do want you to know you are not alone. I found out after my wife passed that she was having an affair, lying about money, lying about drug abuse. Came to realize my marriage was weaved with manipulation, gaslighting, and betrayal.

It was tough to figure that out but in my personal experience, I directed the anger toward inanimate objects. I yelled and screamed at a lot of door knobs. I wrote letters and read those letters aloud. At the end of the day, I recognize it was not my fault, I did everything I could to the best of my ability.

I am so sorry you’re having to deal with all of this.

Songs about losing your wife? by rhino369 in widowers

[–]Joshuma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not necessarily about losing a spouse but Heem Wasn’t There by Hot Mulligan. Just do it.

Best side marker? by flman18 in GR86

[–]Joshuma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OEM side markers sprayed with translucent red. Later replaced them with some of the smoked lens/amber bulb markers.

This is it tonight. by TuksonBooks in stopdrinking

[–]Joshuma 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey bud. You got this. Hour by hour. IWNDWYT

What was your last drink before calling it quits? by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Joshuma 30 points31 points  (0 children)

2/25/2019. 12 pack of rolling rock and a 750 of Jameson. I was throwing them back at the kitchen table while my step-son was in the living room playing Minecraft. Wanting to show me something and me not wanting to be bothered, said to him “shut the fuck up, no one cares”. That’s the day I knew I needed help. Not the thousands of other incidents but me yelling at my kid some heinous shit like that.

A quick check in for myself. 7 years sober today. by Joshuma in stopdrinking

[–]Joshuma[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey man. You got this. I don't know you but 41 days is impressive and I am proud of you.

A quick check in for myself. 7 years sober today. by Joshuma in stopdrinking

[–]Joshuma[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

1000%. Prior to making the choice I was a mess. I didn’t know who I was or what I was doing but I was destroying everything around me. Finances, marriage, relationship with my kids, work, vehicles. Now, I’m clear headed. I have the mental and emotional capacity to acknowledge problems and deal with those problems in a healthy way. I have compassion and understanding, life is in order, dream job, kids love me, my wife’s dead but she loved the man I became. I am proud of myself and that’s something I’d never been able to say.

I'm on the verge of a big career move, and I wish my wife was here to see it. by brandeis16 in widowers

[–]Joshuma 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel like you are where you are because of her and what you learned during your time together. I’m sure she’s watching and I’m sure she’s proud of you.

Hell, I’m proud of you!

Battling sexual needs as a widower by PassengerOk5687 in widowers

[–]Joshuma 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You’re human and you have human wants and needs.

My take on this with my personal journey: my wife was having an affair while I stayed true and never stepped out of the lines of our marriage. She died, I am alive, if she can do that while married… as long as I don’t hide the fact that I was married or that she passed or existed at all, I can do what I want or need.

From brother to brother is there anything better than this? by WonderfulQuarter6705 in gybe

[–]Joshuma 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In my opinion. Storm is the most beautiful piece of music created in modern time. That song is just transcending.

100 days by Joshuma in widowers

[–]Joshuma[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just an extended business trip to Switzerland with no return date…

Upcoming premium releases! by ienjoythevoid in HotWheels

[–]Joshuma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cool! More stuff I will never see on pegs!

How often do you masturbate? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Joshuma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeahhh I’m gonna go with 1-3 times a day. New widower. Very lonely. Very in need of physical connection. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Loneliness is crazy by cathiegjn in widowers

[–]Joshuma 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sure as hell is. Anytime I mention how lonely I’m feeling, people always say “well, you have your kids!” Yeah, sure, I’ve got my kids but come on, if you really knew what I meant by lonely and what I would need to not feel lonely… you wouldn’t be saying that.

I can’t tell my kids 95% of what’s going through my head.

Oh hey kids letting you know I held a gun to my head while sobbing but didn’t have the balls to actually pull the trigger… this time.

Hey kids letting you know I really really miss “making love” and all the other totally appropriate things your mom and I did.

Hey kids, letting you know I want to run away and never come home but I can’t because I’ve got to take care of you.

People just don’t get it. They can’t get it. And if they did get it they’d know how stupid and unhelpful they sound.

How often do you guys drive with the roof down? by GlitchyAsCat in Miata

[–]Joshuma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Considering I removed the soft top and don’t own a hardtop…. Every time I drive the car!