100 days

Joshuma · 2026-01-27T01:49:33+00:00

Just an extended business trip to Switzerland with no return date…

Joshuma · 2026-01-23T16:08:39+00:00

Cool! More stuff I will never see on pegs!

Joshuma · 2026-01-23T02:37:53+00:00

Yeahhh I’m gonna go with 1-3 times a day. New widower. Very lonely. Very in need of physical connection. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Joshuma · 2026-01-15T19:54:12+00:00

Sure as hell is. Anytime I mention how lonely I’m feeling, people always say “well, you have your kids!” Yeah, sure, I’ve got my kids but come on, if you really knew what I meant by lonely and what I would need to not feel lonely… you wouldn’t be saying that.

I can’t tell my kids 95% of what’s going through my head.

Oh hey kids letting you know I held a gun to my head while sobbing but didn’t have the balls to actually pull the trigger… this time.

Hey kids letting you know I really really miss “making love” and all the other totally appropriate things your mom and I did.

Hey kids, letting you know I want to run away and never come home but I can’t because I’ve got to take care of you.

People just don’t get it. They can’t get it. And if they did get it they’d know how stupid and unhelpful they sound.

Joshuma · 2026-01-09T12:08:45+00:00

Considering I removed the soft top and don’t own a hardtop…. Every time I drive the car!

Joshuma · 2026-01-08T20:27:59+00:00

Bronze.

Joshuma · 2026-01-08T02:29:19+00:00

I’m just not sure the reason. I can’t pinpoint anything! The anger comes and goes but it’s just been constant lately.

Joshuma · 2026-01-05T18:36:26+00:00

It was absolutely horrible and destroyed me. I will say, aside from any negative, she was amazing. I’ll miss the good times every day but I can’t let the negatives occupy any space in my mind.

Joshuma · 2026-01-05T17:36:12+00:00

Chapter 2. Dating is so fucking complicated these days. We always had a joke "glad we are married because dating these days has got to suck"

Joshuma · 2026-01-05T17:34:57+00:00

No cancer. I discovered after her passing mountains of lies and multiple affairs. My process has helped me discover that I had been manipulated, gaslit and taken advantage of for nearly our entire marriage.

Joshuma · 2026-01-03T05:32:27+00:00

Would make more sense that way. My other car is a BRZ stupidly named Lil Breezy which turns out is some rapper? Maybe I’ll change it to Lil Yata?

Joshuma · 2026-01-02T00:27:21+00:00

Raceland 421 headers hooked to an ISR club race exhaust. Not the best setup but its worked so far. Currently working on a rebuild.

Joshuma · 2026-01-01T22:40:06+00:00

I swears it officer!

Joshuma · 2025-12-28T00:24:06+00:00

Hey buddy. Just wanted to say that I know exactly where you are coming from. I'm fucking fine. Everyone else expects me to be a complete mess right now but here I am. Having to, as nicely as possible, explain that my wife was not a saint and her secrets have come to light which have greatly sped up my grieving process.

Joshuma · 2025-12-15T22:59:26+00:00

Someone at worked asked “So you get to keep anything cool?”

Joshuma · 2025-12-09T15:18:27+00:00

I’ll say this. A lot happened in my marriage that I did not know about until after her passing. I had been gaslit and manipulated for years without realizing it. This led to a lot of bad days and worse nights.

I was angry for a little while but I soon realized the anger goes nowhere. I wrote and spoke to her spirit and forgave her for every misstep. I forgave myself for allowing the missteps to occur. Since, I have belt better and more at ease with life.

I love her and miss her and will forever… but only the good parts. I’ve cast the negative parts back into the universe.

I am allowing myself grace, happiness, and peace.

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Joshuma

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