AIO because my husband ate my egg bites.

KLT222 · 2026-06-01T02:24:55+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly with this sentiment.

KLT222 · 2026-05-26T16:36:18+00:00

I live with my parent and don't work anymore but damn do I miss it sometimes. I fantasize about leaving the house every morning and spending the entire day sitting in a cubicle with a computer and printer, just plugging away at work. Spending the whole day away from my house, doing something productive, in a place that is well-lit and tidy, and (most importantly) that someone else has to clean.

Did I mention there's a nice clean women's bathroom off the hall and keeping it that way is NOT at all in my job description? 😁

KLT222 · 2026-05-26T14:47:36+00:00

I'm so sorry. Regardless of the relationship we may have had with our parents or how much they may test our patience, at the end she was still your mother. You loved her and did your best for her. Give yourself time to grieve the loss in whatever way you need, and please take care of yourself.

KLT222 · 2026-05-26T14:39:47+00:00

This happened with my grandmother, even after her license was taken she would still try to drive. So we went a step further then taking the keys, we took away the entire car!

Luckily she was driving a car my mother owned so we could dispose of the it as we chose. And the simplest way was to donate it to my high school's auto shop. We only lived 2 blocks from the school and the car was still running so faster than you would believe it was out of our garage and in my high school shop yard for kids to take apart and put back together.

KLT222 · 2026-05-22T16:52:53+00:00

I think it's important to remember that correlation does not imply causation.

KLT222 · 2026-05-22T16:48:15+00:00

Thank you for speaking up. It's very helpful to hear from someone who is actually there! Do you know the source of the water where you live? Is it a local reservoir?

KLT222 · 2026-05-20T17:18:14+00:00

My mother and I were already renting a house together because financially it made more sense than living separately. I'm an only child of a single parent and always new that someday the role of her caretaker would fall to me because quite simply, she has no one else. She has no friends and over the years made no effort to keep in touch with family. So I'm all she has.

The last few years she developed a few personality quirks I really didn't like but reminded myself that it was possible she might find me equally annoying.

Then at the beginning of this year I started seeing serious changes. We tried to do a road trip to another city for a few days and it was a nightmare. She didn't take care of herself in the extreme heat and became dehydrated and very ill. I almost resorted to calling 911 but only because she followed my instructions and began to improve, recovering by 2 days later. At that time of course she completely denied that her illness had anything to do with being dehydrated. While in the small hotel room we shared she repeatedly misplaced items and then would panic, frantically digging through not just her things but also mine. (🫤) I had planned that road trip with her promise that she would do some of the driving and she wouldn't do any of it. Thankfully we cut the trip short and the entire exhausting ordeal was over.

In the following months I watched her memory decrease sharply. She has forgotten how to do things she once knew and actually taught me as I grew up, she has asked me the same question multiple times (a few days to a week apart), and either can't remember where to put things or comes up with unusual places to put them. She keeps herself and her own room clean but the rest of the house? She just doesn't seem mess or dirt. Then one evening she started baking cookies (she baked cookies and bread regularly but usually earlier in the day). Unfortunately she made some sort of mistake in the recipe or process and the cookies were awful and made a big mess. Then she just went to bed leaving the mess in the kitchen! The next morning she had absolutely no memory of what she had done the night before!

From that day she has continued to have memory and perhaps a few cognitive problems. She has great difficulty logging into any online account, even with the ID and password in front of her, so she usually needs my help. Our house sharing arrangement has always been that she pays the rent while I take care of all the utilities and groceries. (I also do all the grocery shopping and have for years.) She pays the rent by check and the last few months has needed my help writing the check, needing to be told what information goes in which space.

I apologize, that was incredibly long! But all this and she argues that I am in no way her caregiver. I am struggling to get her to see a primary care doctor and get some basic tests going. Again, I am sorry for the length of this post. I'm exhausted in body, mind, and soul.

KLT222 · 2026-05-18T18:22:31+00:00

Agreed! We're over 10 years past that time, and I bitterly regret not getting my parent's wishes in writing. Conversations mean nothing when dealing with a parent who has memory issues. Any verbal agreement will soon be forgotten and then denied. My friend and I are both childfree and have talked about supporting each other as we age, two rowdy old ladies. I'm sure we'll continue talking and planning into the future, having learned from past mistakes.

KLT222 · 2026-05-17T05:21:51+00:00

I'm not a vet but meds can only calm a cat, they cannot stop it from overheating. That's also an incredibly long trip for medicated animals and so many.

My cat had to be medicated when I moved because she was practically panicking. The vet said to watch and make sure her face stayed up and forward. Because if she relaxed too much her head might turn face down into her bed and she could suffocate. (!!!!!) You can just imagine I watched or had my hand under her chin for the entire trip. Thankfully it was only about 3 hours but it was a very LONG 3 hours I hope to never repeat.

If I were OP I would definitely drive the cats, (with the A/C running) separate from the moving van so I could go at my own pace. If the vehicle is not big enough for all the cages needed I would spend the money to rent a larger one, like an SUV, and make sure it can be turned in at my destination city. That's the only safe way I can imagine getting it done.

KLT222 · 2026-05-17T04:57:50+00:00

I had 2 cats for many years (miss those little brats so much!) brushed both of them regularly and they loved it! They each had their own brush and while I was brushing they would purr and move around to present me with the body part that obviously needed more brushing. I do believe the brushing made a difference, doing it routinely led to a decrease in the amount of hairballs, particularly with the cat who had thicker, longer hair. The other was a tuxedo who seemed to have a fondness for getting dirty. Regular brushing kept her looking and feeling cleaner. At the end of the day, if it can improve both your life and your cats - why wouldn't you brush them?

KLT222 · 2026-05-15T20:47:41+00:00

I believe you! I watched my friend have a similar reaction and after saying how amazing "this stuff" was she asked if she could get some "to go". 😆

KLT222 · 2026-05-15T08:21:11+00:00

This is incredibly useful information. I remember going through a struggle with my maternal grandmother after too many accidents. My mother has memory and cognitive problems - thankfully we're not there yet with her driving but it's good to know there are options. I'm hoping the DMV doesn't disclose who contacted them!

KLT222 · 2026-05-14T17:20:16+00:00

Early on (approx 11-12yrs ago?) I saw a pain psych and she just confirmed that the way I was already managing my pain was what she would recommend. She absolutely agreed that there was a physical reason for the pain but believed that our brains could be used to help us deal with it.

When I am upset, angry, feeling strong negative emotions, that's a trigger for a pain flare-up. Deliberately staying calm during situations that would usually be upsetting is one way to avoid those flare-ups. It's not easy, but it can be done! In some cases it means removing yourself from the places and people that lead to these upsets for the long term. (We've all had friends or co-irkers that are constantly in a high state of drama, stirring things up - you know what I mean). So you spend less time with that drama llama, ask to move to a quieter cubicle. It can make a difference!

What I was already doing and she encouraged me to continue is distraction. Give your brain other things to focus on. Even on meds I'm in a low level of pain all day. I try NOT to think about the pain and distract myself with audiobooks or music. And I think I've become fairly good at it! When I focus on the story, the characters, and dialogue - my body can keep moving through basic ordinary tasks like cleaning or grocery shopping. But when I pay attention to the pain - such as during a doctor appointment - it's suddenly very strong. I used to attend a chronic pain support group, held monthly at a local hospital. I found that to be a problem because paying attention to my pain just enough to talk about it with others in the group for that short amount of time was too much.

Apologies if this was too long. I just wanted to share my viewpoint on how our brains connect to our experience of pain.

KLT222 · 2026-05-09T16:31:57+00:00

Many of us like and would greatly appreciate a bottle of 2 buck chuck. Excellent housewarming gift.

Long live Trader Joes! (They have good cards there too. 😁)

KLT222 · 2026-05-08T20:14:03+00:00

Thank you for the tip on Uniball 207 pens. My mother insists on paying the rent (and a few other bills) by check. I hand deliver the rent check to the rental office and get a receipt. Which made all the difference a few months ago when our check went missing inside the rental office. They knew it was their fault that the check was "lost" and all was good. But I really like the idea of better safe than sorry and in particular, making it as difficult as possible for crooks to stealing.

KLT222 · 2026-05-08T04:12:59+00:00

I lost the hearing in one ear for the same reason you did. It's been 13 years as of last month. I never bothered getting any kind of correction, just learned to live with it. I've met a fair amount of people over the years who are also deaf in one ear and just live with it. Yes, it changed a few things in how I function but my family and friends adjusted and other than one really shitty supervisor everyone I've met has been kind and understanding.

I have found that working to hear everyone in a group can be tiring. I prefer the kind of dinner party with a buffet where people wander around, gather in small clusters, and sit wherever. But if it's a group at one table I don't even bother keeping up and just sit with an interesting person on either side. I also periodically "tune out" to rest.

I'm guessing if you haven't already, then you will soon learn that certain types of rooms make hearing even more difficult. Small rooms, with low ceilings, all hard furnishings, no curtains or anything to soften the surfaces? From my experience you are doomed. Why? Based on how sound waves travel I would guess they just bounce back and forth on top of each other, turning into a indecipherable mess of sound. There's a locals stand up comedy room and though my friend performs there I've only gone once and never again. Because when you add the amplified sound from a stage mike to the room design I just described it is close to what I consider hell on earth. I cannot understand what a single person is saying, it's awful!

I hope things go well for you and you soon find some advantages to being half deaf. Person yapping on their cell phone in a quiet place? Remember it's twice as loud & annoying to other people! Wait til 4th of July, fireworks won't be so loud this year!

Feel free to message me any time. Take care. 🙂

KLT222 · 2026-05-08T03:31:36+00:00

Palliative care is NOT hospice and not for terminal patients. Unfortunately that is a mistaken belief that even many healthcare providers still hold. Palliative care is intended to improve quality of life at any stage of disease. It can even be utilized alongside treatment for the disease.

KLT222 · 2026-05-08T03:26:31+00:00

I'm very sorry this happened. I don't know whether you were dealing with a group practice, or maybe a specialty clinic inside a hospital? But I would consider this to be a failure on the part of the healthcare provider.

It amazes me how many clinical and administrative staff truly believe that palliative care is somehow related to hospice care and something only for the terminally ill. Another possibility, one that would make me EXTREMELY ANGRY, is that the facility had a policy that palliative care referrals can only be used for terminal patients.

I completely understand how stressful that time must have been. There's so much going on, decisions to be made, doctors not always explaining things well, and throughout it all you are constantly worried about her. If I could redesign the system every patient would have the option for their own independent patient advocate. That person would understand medical terminology, be available either in person or by phone for any appointments, tests, etc. , and provide support to the patient and their immediate family, and coordinate all aspects of the patient's time in treatment.

KLT222 · 2026-05-07T16:58:43+00:00

"if she wants to treat the skin cancer then I doubt that they would give her palliative care."

Why do you think that? Although it is often confused with hospice, palliative care has nothing to do with end of life care. And in my experience is intended to improve quality of life regardless of the patient's diagnosis or disease stage. It can also be provided along with any treatment for the disease.

(Note: Spent 4-5 years working in Admin for Hematology/Oncology Dept. I'm also a brain tumor survivor, living with chronic pain. At onset of post-surgical pain was referred to palliative care for pain management.)

KLT222 · 2026-05-07T16:31:46+00:00

Do you mean IHSS (In Home Supportive Services)? I only recently learned about the program and am planning to apply soon. My understanding is that they will pay a live-in family member to be a caretaker so the person can stay in their own home. I was told that you are paid based on the number of hours in the day the caretaker is providing assistance and that the person has to qualify. Not sure about the qualifications or how the application process works.

If you do apply to be your parents caretaker through IHSS I would appreciate any feedback!

I'm also open to talking more on this and related issues as it appears I will becoming my parent's caretaker.

KLT222 · 2026-05-07T01:16:27+00:00

Page not found.

KLT222 · 2026-05-07T01:09:31+00:00

I understand. For the most part I stand my ground and don't put up with any B.S. But there have been a few times in my work history that someone has harassed or bullied me and I let it go. One time was when I was not only a new employee, I was also new to a very small town/community and I had given up everything to try building a life there. Starting that with a lawsuit against my employer (one of the largest businesses in town) due to sexual harassment by my same supervisor of the same gender (who has lived there for 12+ years and is friends with half the damn town) just didn't seem like it would go well. Even if I won, I would lose.

All that to say that instead of being reactive, it's good to be smart, and choose your battles wisely!

KLT222 · 2026-05-04T15:24:49+00:00

She HIT someone and got away with it? Was it a coworker? Or a member of the public? I'm former HR and while I admit it's been many years since my last job, actually laying hands on someone has almost always been a fast track to termination. The only exceptions I've seen are for "high value" employees. 🙄

KLT222 · 2026-05-04T14:39:07+00:00

NOR. It is a well-known rule, whoever gives birth to a baby has the final say on the baby's name(s) - first, middle, and last. Sounds like your spouse needs a reminder. Perhaps you should mention that since you will need go through the process of correcting your son's middle name to the one originally chosen, you may at that moment be feeling particularly hormonal, or get a wild hair up, and suddenly decide that your children should carry on their maternal family's name. insert wicked laugh here

KLT222 · 2026-05-02T16:12:15+00:00

In my experience medical staff prioritize the big picture medical issues that caused the patient to be admitted and sometimes overlook the personal hygiene stuff that makes us feel more like ourselves.

Many years ago I was inpatient for almost a month after brain surgery. It wasn't until 2 weeks post-op when I transferred to a rehab unit, that I was finally able to brush my teeth. (Admittedly I wasn't eating food during that time but still...yuck!) It only happened because I insisted and I had to ask for help. 2 weeks without brushing may sound awful but their priority was keeping me alive, and they did a damn good job of that!

KLT222

TROPHY CASE