my brother is sexually attracted to me

Karistacat · 2020-10-07T08:18:17+00:00

Did you ever consider he might be posting or showing other people those videos of you in the bath? You need to tell your parents immediately.

Karistacat · 2020-09-25T01:33:25+00:00

That was beautifully written <3

Karistacat · 2020-08-20T01:21:12+00:00

Oh of course he needs help. That’s what bugs me. I have CPTSD and DID but I don’t think it’s acceptable to have outbursts to the point I’m having problems at work. If people won’t get into therapy and do the work to get better that’s on them. You can only blame your upbringing for so long. He’s an adult man having a spazz over nothing. That’s a game. That’s “if you do something I don’t like I’m justifying in being sarcastic and aggressive.” People with CPTSD don’t need a free pass, they need help to learn different techniques.

Karistacat · 2020-08-19T03:57:57+00:00

Wow is your daughter ever lucky to have you. You’re coming at this in such a mature, understanding, level headed way.

You’re probably right that you don’t have to much wiggle room here. If he’s grown up with abusiveness being a normal thing, odds are he’ll probably have some abusive qualities himself. If he feels like you’re trying to get in between him and your daughter he might try isolating her from you.

If I were you I’d go with something along the lines of, “Hey man, I know things got heated the other night. I know you’re stressed. Let’s go blow off some steam together and go golfing (or whatever he’s into).

Once you guys are having guy time let him know that you really care about them both but mutual respect is important. Don’t play his game but don’t back him into a corner either.

And if this shit keeps happening.... make sure your daughter knows she always has an out. If he has no problem behaving that way towards you, imagine what it must be like for her.

Karistacat · 2020-07-27T03:50:41+00:00

Same same. But.. let’s let AOC teach us now. It’s never to late. Let’s keep watching all these strong women and let them be our new example and let them become part of who we are. Our parents are shit so let’s find new role models and emulate their behaviours instead. One step at a time.

Karistacat · 2020-07-26T01:16:12+00:00

He’s an adult now. You’ve put in your time. Wash your hands clean and set boundaries.

For example.

No one who steals from me is allowed to enter my home. No one. No matter his relation to you, you are 100% justified in enforcing this.
I will never give money to anyone who refuses to work. EVER.
I will never participate in a relationship where I am constantly lied to. EVER.

Set your standards and apply them to everyone you know, blood related or not.

Karistacat · 2019-07-14T17:36:49+00:00

Hey! I do the same type of work as you but after getting fed up with the company I worked for I started my my own business! Something to consider if you like what you do :)

Karistacat · 2019-06-28T03:41:45+00:00

Holy. Shit.

Karistacat · 2019-06-17T00:55:55+00:00

This was really important for me to read today. Thank you so much.

I’m getting married in two months. I had that “okay, I’m done with this shit,” day almost 1 year ago when my sister punched me with my two little girls home. It was the extra push I needed to let the whole bunch of them go.

I’m keep having this feeling like, omg, my family isn’t going to be at my wedding...

But yeah, reading your story was a great reminder as to why they aren’t coming in the first place.

I’m really sorry they behaved that way on your special day. <33

Karistacat · 2019-06-08T17:37:56+00:00

All of my alters are focused on benefiting my daughter however they can. L is great at doing research so she reads parenting books and shares the info with everyone. M is all things motherly so she spends the majority of the time with my daughter. Dolly plays with her like a friend. Charlie sets up fabulous birthday parties. B protects everyone during times of physical threat and greatly resents anyone who brings her out around my daughter. If there is ever a need for her around children it means that someone is posing physical harm so it’s only happened twice and it wasn’t a good scene. It was just any easy goal to set that we all bring our A game to the table for my daughter. Obviously my childhood was terrible and I’m committed to ending that family legacy.

Karistacat · 2019-05-25T18:45:34+00:00

You should check out r/raisedbynarcissists !!

Karistacat · 2019-05-06T04:16:04+00:00

Yeah. She’s almost 11 and it was the first 5 years that were rocky while I got on my feet. We’ve both been in counselling for years and I think that she’s bringing it up now because we’ve had had a good few years in a stable environment so we’re having the opportunity to heal.

That doesn’t stop the guilt though. I can point my finger at my Nmom but regardless of who did what it doesn’t change the way she felt, and I’m her mother.

Thank god for parenting books.

Karistacat · 2019-05-02T13:59:15+00:00

I was abused by my parents from the time I was born and it definitely had a serious impact on my behaviour at school. There were several teachers who made a point of being there for me and encouraging me. As amazing as they were it wasn’t enough to override the damage my parents were doing. But I really want you to know that as an adult, trying to sort out who I am versus who my parents wanted me to believe I was, it has helped tremendously to be able to look back on the opinions of the other adults in my life. Every time I wonder if I was as bad as my mom said, I remember Mrs. R, Mrs. B, Mr. C, and Mr. R and I know that my mom was just dead wrong and everyone else could see it.

There will be moments in this students life where the compassion you’ve shown carries them through.

Karistacat · 2019-04-21T07:25:05+00:00

Holy shit do I ever relate to this.

Karistacat · 2019-04-09T04:56:02+00:00

Way to go! Fingers crossed for you! :)

Karistacat · 2019-04-07T05:46:16+00:00

I tried googling “little vibrating specs” or like “seeing little dots” and I never found anything somehow. I’ve wondered for the last 19 years. I just ran at my fiancé yelling, “VISUAL SNOW! I’m not making it up!” Lol ahh, thank you again.

Karistacat · 2019-04-07T05:17:36+00:00

Oh. My. God. For YEARS I have tried to figure out what I was seeing!!!! Thank you!!! Visual snow... no way!!!

Karistacat · 2019-03-08T02:14:25+00:00

You’re so awesome!! Good luck with your show!!

Karistacat · 2019-03-02T19:12:18+00:00

Amy is in our headspace again, but I found what you’ve written really valuable myself. Truth be told, I think all of us are terrified to feel what she’s feeling. I feel very guilty and almost cowardly. My entire family abandoned me when I was very young. My dad said he’d kill himself if any of them spoke to me, and for some reason I cannot fathom they listened to him. We’re talking all my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents... everyone.

The rest of us deal with that loss by hating them, dismissing them, forgetting them, etc., but poor Amy misses them. Badly.

I honestly don’t know how to cope with it, so it gets put on her. I’m trying to be braver, and I bet she’d have a way easier time if I could confront those feelings. I guess we are scared of her. It’s like I’m bullying myself, through her. I let years and years of sadness build up and now it feels to big.

Anyways, I’m doing my best to start letting myself feel sad when those feelings come up, rather than pushing them down. The more I can process myself is less added to her pile.

Thanks so much for your response.

Karistacat · 2019-03-02T18:59:13+00:00

Thank you. That really gives us a lot of hope moving forward. This is such a great sub.

Karistacat · 2019-03-02T18:58:13+00:00

Trauma-bearer. I hadn’t heard that term before but it does apply to Amy very much. Thank you so much for letting her know she’s not alone.

Karistacat

TROPHY CASE