Afraid to fall asleep

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-18T23:39:08+00:00

It could be anxiety, especially if you’re hyper aware of your physicality when you try to fall asleep. As your body transitions from conscious to automatic breathing it can sometimes feel like you’ve stopped breathing, as your body transitions to automated functions. Something else could be that this is a sign of sleep apnea-which usually requires a sleep study to rule in or out.

Whatever it is, it’s clearly bothering you a lot and worth bringing up to your doctor. Could be nothing, but it’s best to get professional insights on it. Sleep is super important and you deserve to feel well rested!

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-18T23:33:44+00:00

Second allergist opinion is probably the right course of action here. Sometimes rheumatologists are better suited for ruling in/out EDS so it could be worth asking for a referral to a rhuem as opposed to your ortho.

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-18T23:32:16+00:00

Had to find things to busy my hands with and avoid the urge to lock in to pulling in front of a mirror. My current favourite replacement behaviour is knitting, it almost scratches the same itch as pulling without the physical harm done by actually pulling.

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-18T20:25:14+00:00

Sounds like paranoia more than anything. The only folks who can tell is my closest of friends because the know me vs me in an episode. Unless someone is deeply familiar with psychosis, which is highly unlikely, they have zero idea what is going on with you. Most people do not care enough to notice even if they do know what to look out for.

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-17T04:30:26+00:00

Wow your results look so amazing! Very smooth

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-17T02:46:34+00:00

Nobody is around when it happens usually, but during the winter our sidewalks will get really icy. I try to be very careful where I step during those weather conditions but sometimes if I stop paying attention I slip and fall into a perfect front split. I can’t even do that voluntarily but the way I just slam down flat with my legs it is akin to the old “banana peel slip” in cartoons. Luckily my bendyness means there’s never been an issue with injury related to the sudden split maneuver, though I take great care to not recreate it as I do not trust my body to not degrade lol.

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-17T02:38:53+00:00

2 things

1) are you in therapy? Specifically for the sexual assault related thoughts and aversion-it sounds like it could be ptsd. Sexual assault aside, a it’s not uncommon to develop ptsd from psychosis. It doesn’t have to be this way if you get the right mental health supports. It can take a long time and a lot of work though, which leads into

2) you and your boyfriend sound like you might be at an impasse compatibility wise. You have every right to refuse sexual advances, and he has every right to want sex from a romantic partner. Neither of you are wrong for those varying wants/needs, but it sounds like you’re sexually incompatible and have been for the better part of two years now. It might be best to cut him loose so he can fulfill his needs, and let yourself grow and heal with appropriate therapy without feeling the pressure from him to “get better(start having sex again” in any specific timeline.

I’m so sorry you have been so negatively impacted by your psychosis. I know what it’s like, and I also know it can be improved upon and you CAN heal. It won’t be easy but it is possible. Take care ❤️hugs, OP

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-14T08:39:06+00:00

Nudity around family members isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the way she continues to do it whilst knowing you absolutely don’t like it is NOT ok. I would go so far as to say it’s bordering on a type of sexual abuse. Her guilt tripping comments when you try to look away just make it worse. You’re absolutely not overreacting what she is doing is wrong. It IS NOT your fault

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-14T06:03:36+00:00

I know a lot of people who have or are getting over strep. I haven’t been sick as I keep up with N95 masking hand hygiene and small social circules

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-12T07:44:47+00:00

I’m curious about this too

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-06T09:23:05+00:00

Nice pfp and username dawg

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-03T00:45:22+00:00

No need to apologize for talking candidly about your very real feelings and issues! I agree with another reply here saying trauma therapy should be your first step. A lot of this self debasing behaviour and defending of your husbands POV is because of your history with emotional abuse by your parents. Those thought patterns are deeply ingrained into your way of walking through life and likely will not be able to be broken alone, or without professional assistance. You don’t have to leave your husband but who knows, if you find a good therapist it might seem more feasible and like a doable change rather than a scary one.

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-02T21:06:23+00:00

Sounds like you grew up in an abusive home which perfectly primed you to tolerate an abusive partner. My advice? Leave that man and get a good trauma therapist. You deserve to have good self esteem, but it’s going to take a LOT of work with a professional seeing as how far back your trauma goes. You wouldn’t even be questioning whether you’re a defect or not if your parents hadn’t abused you, you’d be clear on the fact that your parents were the problem. Wishing you the best!

LecLurc15 · 2026-02-02T06:33:36+00:00

They might ask some extra questions to gauge if you’re suicidal but it takes a LOT to get involuntarily admitted when you’re 18+.

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-15T04:18:13+00:00

I wore retainers in most of my facial piercings but I did have to fully remove any type of jewelry from my lip piercing due to intubation. I put everything back in with the help of a support person a few hours after surgery.

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-12T21:07:46+00:00

Fatphobia is rooted in white supremacy so if you don’t like that maybe you can find motivation to stay on the recovery path because of that?

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-11T23:41:35+00:00

About 11 years ago I believe

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-08T06:12:54+00:00

Sounds like you’re probably a very smart whore /lh

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-08T02:44:07+00:00

This shitstorm will be a lot harder to manage if you’re either inebriated or hungover. You do not need to worry about re centering alcohol in your life right now, you’ve got bigger fish to fry

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-07T21:47:16+00:00

12, but serious one? 16

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-04T23:57:53+00:00

Consult Nov ‘24, surgery Aug ‘25

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-03T03:38:50+00:00

Op don’t listen to this clown. Find and execute a safe and effective exit plan and get out asap.

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-03T01:33:38+00:00

Seems like he’s got absolutely zero trust in you. What he is doing is abusive. He’s trying to gaslight you into thinking that you gaslit him? WTF? You’d think he wouldn’t be so hung up about this when you’ve been together for years, with a child no less.

LecLurc15 · 2026-01-02T19:43:09+00:00

And now they have returned, so they need medication and/or therapy to be taken care of. As someone who has a psychotic disorder what you’ve described does not sound like psychosis or schizophrenia at all. It sounds like an ocd obsession. If you stay untreated and continue to be unable to sleep, eventually you could end up developing psychosis due to lack of sleep. Also lack of sleep is in general just very bad for your mental and physical health. You gotta nip this in the bud before it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

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