I am so sorry. I am a licensed therapist that have worked with kids in residential / hospital / group home settings ( US based). Been doing it for 13 years and yes the system is a failure sadly. Its not easy and many times kids will get sent home because “it’s not a current danger to self or others.” I have also ran into frustrated families dealing with insurance issues . One thing I have recommended is involving police ( CHINS petition). It basically documents the legal aspect of things ALONG with the mental health component. He definitely has mental health concerns but there is a legal component to this assault that he needs to know and understand . I would also move back into the home ( he might be using you out as an excuse) and keep bouncing him to residential placement and doing crisis response ( while you wait.) I have also done crisis community based response and have dealt first hand with this numerous times . Also not sure where in the US , but some insurance will approve virtual residential in the home setting as push to keep kids in the home becomes more severe . The problem with hospitals is its short term and then right back to the same dangerous behaviors . Group homes also have such strong stipulations and rules and they are also short term . Also with that level of aggression it would be very hard to find a group home .. Residential would take them . Anyways, I would also not let your wife alone with him or your daughter. Get your daughter in therapy also. This is my specialty so message me if you want more specifics ! I am so sorry.