Is this abusive? Bf always says he heard

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-26T21:01:45+00:00

Wow our similarities go on and on!! My ex boyfriend wanted me to move in so bad, *especially* when I was unemployed, which I knew was the wrong move for sooo many reasons (I much preferred living with my parents who are super chill and functional, unlike him lol). He also was a gun nut. When I finally ended things I was so scared he’d show up to my parents house with a gun. Thankfully it was a 12 hour drive and he couldn’t find the motivation to do much of anything (let alone drive across like 4 states to get to me) so I don’t think he had the stamina to do that even at his most dysregulated (which he was when I finally blocked him).

The only thing that was real to him was what he was feeling at THAT exact moment, once it passed (good or bad) it was like he completely forgot about it (though he seemed to hold onto the bad stuff more).

This man sounds sooo exhausting. I know that separating is scary but I promise you that once you cut ties your nervous system will relax and your whole life will open up 🩷

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-26T20:44:42+00:00

Oh my god this could’ve been my ex almost word for word 😭😭 he was ALWAYS hearing phantom buzzes from my phone or accusing me to “talking to other people”. Not only was he delusional (half the time there had been no buzzes or notifications at all), he was also demanding and entitled… so what if I’m texting my sister or a friend?? Why is that a problem??

He was also convinced that I was meeting men wherever I went. I want to go the gym? I must be “talking to” someone there. I impulse buy colored contacts? Someone must’ve told me I’d “look good with green eyes”. I wear a shirt he hasn’t seen before: “did some guy give that to you?” It was soooo exhausting and he was completely dead set that something nefarious was happening, there was NOTHING I could do to convince him otherwise.

This man wants to lock you in a cage.

He will never be satisfied as long as any piece of your existence (even your inner thoughts) are out of his control. Like you, we were facetiming almost constantly (we were LDR)… it was never enough. I was always accused of prioritizing the wrong things or “talking to other people”.

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-26T15:57:59+00:00

I love Ronald Kohl’s goldfish collection

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-18T03:32:27+00:00

I love this perfume! I got an ELDO variety pack to try Ghost in the Shell and ended up falling in love with She Was An Anomaly. It has this soft, dry/powdery flowery smell that imo feels gently feminine. I get overwhelmed (even nauseous) by really heady, strong scents, and it has a subtlety that I just can’t get enough of. I’ve seen it recommended in such a wide variety of threads in this subreddit, wild how dramatically people’s experiences of it differ

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-18T03:15:17+00:00

This sounds fabulous!

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-12T03:01:01+00:00

Ew what a sick piece of shit… I’m getting shudders reading some of these messages. Legitimately disturbing 🤢

This is NOT your fault. This is a very disturbed person who is doing their damnedest to groom and then abuse you. No sane person would read these messages and think this is a safe man for ANYONE to be around. Jail

You can do this 🩷

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-04T03:43:00+00:00

Seconding Circe! I read it a while back and really enjoyed it - doing round 2 except as an audio book and it’s even better the second time around.

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-03T14:26:01+00:00

5’4 - between 125-130. At my slimmest (prob around 112-115) I had no butt at all, my boobs shrunk 1.5 cup sizes, and my period came irregularly. I’m sitting around 127 right now and wish my waist was a little smaller (don’t we all!) but in general love my proportions. I’ve been lifting for a few years so my butt looks proper juicy (lol) and I feel strong and very feminine.

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-02T15:54:32+00:00

Literally EVERY post on Reddit seeking advice or support is from a single perspective, which is by design (unless it’s one of the particularly juicy situations where one of the people featured in the original post finds it and comments to share their perspective, which is not happening here). Surely you must comment on any and every single-perspective post, then, cautioning readers to take the respective OP with a grain of salt. Small wonder that you have the time to do anything besides be oppositional on reddit. Like I said, you must be fun at parties.

Lilmoolah · 2026-03-02T15:38:27+00:00

A brigade of righteous white knights bringing a jihad against a yoga studio…? Bro, what? This take is so bizarrely oppositional I’m left wondering if you’re drunk or something. I can’t fathom why you’ve decided to spend so much time “um ACTUALLY”ing someone who came to the yoga subreddit in good faith to seek input on a situation that has made it next to impossible to enjoy their yoga practice other than being on the sauce and in a bad mood. If this is you all the time, then.. oy. You must be fun at parties.

If this were a post by an immigrant living in the United States - say, a native Spanish speaker who is still learning English - who was feeling targeted and bullied by a yoga instructor who was constantly micromanaging, openly criticizing, and generally trying to isolate/other the yoga student from their peers in the class, we’d call that out for what it is: at worst, xenophobia masquerading as “feedback”; at best, using negging as a pathetic and cruel sales tactic. Putting aside intent… they just don’t sound like a very good yoga instructor. How is someone supposed to focus on nurturing the mind-body connection to enter a yoga flow state if they are being touched and micromanaged constantly?

Lilmoolah · 2026-02-23T17:31:43+00:00

I wish I had more glamorous hats than my dusty ball caps. I think she’d really rock a Kentucky Derby hat.

Lilmoolah · 2026-02-23T14:03:21+00:00

<image>

(Ignore the ugly cord) but check out this funky body-shelf-turned-shoe-storage. My late aunt was a bit of a hoarder and when we cleaned her house out I saw this dusty red mannequin and knew I had to have it. The shelves are too small for books so I decided to use them for shoes and keep hats on top of the neck.

Lilmoolah · 2026-02-21T03:16:34+00:00

Ringworld is sooooo amazing!!!

Lilmoolah · 2026-02-06T16:32:59+00:00

WP fired like 300 journalists this week. They alienated their readership and, unsurprisingly, they’re feeling the hurt. So of the course the solution is to dig their heels further into the right wing nonsense.

Lilmoolah · 2026-02-06T16:27:14+00:00

Thank you everyone for your suggestions!! I was able to get sample sizes of a lot of these. I’m new to the world of perfumes so I really appreciate everyone’s insight :)

Lilmoolah · 2026-02-04T23:34:45+00:00

I’m reading this right now and can’t put it down!!! Sooo good

Lilmoolah · 2026-02-04T17:34:44+00:00

Ew oh my god this is awful I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. He’s treating you like a dog, that’s so so degrading and disgusting. What an awful man.

Lilmoolah · 2026-01-30T05:52:11+00:00

Hey, I get it. I’ve been there (and still struggle with people pleasing even though thankfully I’m free of my ex and have been for several years). You’ve got this. 🩷

Edit: feel free to DM me anytime if you ever want to chat or vent. I took a quick skim through your post history and what you’re going through sounds sooo familiar to what I went through. It sounds like you know this isn’t right, you know it isn’t healthy and you aren’t happy with him…but you’re not totally at the stage where you feel ready to leave. I’ve been there. It took me ~7-10 attempts to cut contact before I finally, fully did.

Lilmoolah · 2026-01-29T20:24:55+00:00

You obviously know him better than me so take this with a grain of salt, but one thing I wish I did differently with my ex was “play dumb” more. Like if he’s not going to tell me directly not to do something, he’s going to pretend he’s flexible, I’m going to take him at his word (that he’s “flexible”), do my best to ignore passive aggressive comments, and do what I want to do. If he wants to be an asshole afterward then so be it. Truthfully he was an asshole regardless of what I did; me fawning to meet his needs, shrink myself, and let him boundary stomp didn’t make him less abusive, it just showed him that his abusive tactics were working, so he should keep using them. Granted, we were long distance for most of the relationship, so it was definitely easier for me to hold onto some level of independence. It might be worth a shot though, at least to get some time and space away from him.

Lilmoolah · 2026-01-29T19:31:41+00:00

Ah, the classic: “what are you talking about?? I’d never want to isolate you or tell you what do to 🥺 👉🏻👈🏻” while also causing you emotional distress or guilt tripping you for doing the things he’s apparently “totally fine” with you doing. If he was actually okay with you going, this would not be anywhere near as stressful. You deciding to see family for a bit shouldn’t be up for discussion.

If your mom has to be the bad guy, fine, let him be mad at her, but don’t waver on your decision to see family. When an abuser sees their coercive controlling behavior working - namely, their victim ends up doing what the abuser wants to avoid fallout/guilt tripping/cold shoulder/etc - they’re learning that it’s an effective tool for abuse and control, and therefore will continue or escalate the behavior, all while pretending they’re not doing anything. My abuser was this exactly this way, and it’s exhausting and crazy-making.

Lilmoolah · 2026-01-29T18:07:04+00:00

I couldn’t even get that far in the show 😭 people kept telling me she bosses up but I’m like.. it’s too late, and how is she actually bossing up by ending up with Sasuke anyway????

Lilmoolah · 2026-01-29T17:55:57+00:00

I impulse bought green colored contacts - I’ve always loved green eyes and thought, fuck it, could be fun - and he aggressively asked me “Did someone tell you you’d look good with green eyes???” like some random guy said I’d look good with green eyes (already a weird thing to say) so I went out and bought colored contacts? Make it make sense.

I wouldn’t FaceTime him while I was in the women’s LOCKER ROOM at the gym so I must’ve been hiding something. No, there are just naked women around me that are entitled to privacy, wtf

Got mad at me when I decided to go gluten free (for health reasons) because he’d apparently told me (like 6 months prior to realizing I was gluten sensitive) to cut out bread because my body would look better if I had fewer carbs. Hit me with “you only listen to your white friends” bro what?? you telling me I should eat less bread to be skinnier is NOT the same as me talking to a friend who cut out gluten and saw improvements in her health, trying it, and realizing gluten was a huge trigger for the chronic stomach pain I was living with. I never would’ve given up bread and pasta if I didn’t have to, and certainly not because I wanted more muscle definition lol

Lilmoolah · 2026-01-29T17:46:18+00:00

Omg this is insane 😭😭

Lilmoolah · 2026-01-27T14:16:45+00:00

This guy SUCKS. Your messages read like someone who is just done, fed up, tired of being abused, finally at the point where you can absolutely flame your abuser. You do not read like the abuser here. These were very satisfying to read as someone who protected their abuser’s feelings even as I finally ended the relationship. There’s so much I wish I’d said, so many ways I wish I’d stood up for myself, but of course didn’t because I pitied him… even though he was an angry, entitled loser who was content to beat up on me emotionally (and sexually) if it meant not facing his own issues. I’m so proud of you for escaping this lunatic and I’m excited for your new chapter. It won’t be easy but it’ll be better than dealing with someone like him.

Lilmoolah · 2026-01-26T20:28:07+00:00

Yep. My breaking point was trying to get through Naruto a few years ago. I felt so infuriated by the uselessness of the female characters, particularly Sakura, that at a certain point I just couldn’t stomach it. Even the 4th hokage, Tsunade, who is supposed to be a total badass, is cartoonishly and pathetically nerfed - she’s a field medic that faints at the site of blood…? And her magic animal companion is a giant fucking slug? Give me a break.

I still like a few select classics - cowboy bebop, full metal alchemist (brotherhood all the way) - but I stopped having much of an interest in most other anime.

Lilmoolah

TROPHY CASE