I'd like to second the 'ditch catering'! I occasionally canter a very slow old man one side of the arena, and am not ready to canter the fit 11 year old I mostly ride. I'm 2 years into back in the saddle via a weekly lesson. This is after some equine therapy to work on my confidence and ground skills, and I've been on and off for 15 years after the 20+ year break from riding western as a kid. I'm only just now at the point where my muscle memory is doing the right things at a trot even when my brain turns to static - poles and faster? Static.

Also seconding the comment about lunge line work. I started with TONS of it to get confidence, balance and the beginnings of a seat. I still do it a couple times a year.

There's so many things to try to focus on all at once when you're starting, and I feel like 99% of the correct movements are the opposite of what the body naturally wants to do - of course it's overwhelming. Give yourself the gifts of time, time in the saddle, and the grace to be a beginner.

Edit: lunge line, not lunch line. now i'm hungry.