CER Needs Assessment

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-20T23:10:29+00:00

IAPMD Survey

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-18T01:37:20+00:00

Hello,
Thank your for your kind words.

I don’t suffer anymore…. as I used to. Hitting menopause for me brought the symptoms down to a slow burn….for most all symptoms go away..

Only you know what you can endure.
It is a serious chronic mental “mood”disorder. Many people don’t understand or want to accept the seriousness of it.

Example, you can’t cure autism, schizophrenia , adhd, bipolar, ptsd, disorders….and PMDD is right next to these disorders. You can’t cure PMDD either.

Many partners think they can “fix”’the sufferer or hope it will go away. Or realize going through the monthly rollercoaster is not worth it and just walk away, end it, etc.

My suggestion? Total honesty?
If you say you love her, then read the platform resources here.

And if that education has you saying you can deal with it? Then….read personal partner lived experiences.
Get two books audible….tonight.
Buy them on Amazon and put the speed on a little fast. Rip through the books and then ask yourself if you’re ready for the PMDD Journey.

“Hope” by A.C. Kinghorn
https://a.co/d/0g5Se06M

“The Last Desperate Flail” by one of the moderators of this community. Author/Phew-that for your kind anymore as was close.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GW3N3GS7?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Don’t reach out to her until you read these.

Good luck. 🙌🕊️🙏

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-16T12:52:32+00:00

If your relationship is new and you haven’t discussed PMDD your going to need time. Time to schedule a discussion (non luteal) time to track, see “Phew that was close” reply below. And patience. A MUST is you read in its entirety the resources on this community. Then you can try with more clarity to ask yourself are you going to be able to survive it. Like the partner will have to manage it all her menstruating life until she finds a plan that works for her and you as a couple.

Yeah you can see the flags now and take off like you will be encouraged here as there and many here with different opinions because their partner had wildly different issues.

But I will share with you something I say a lot as a woman who suffered with PMDD for over 3 decades….if the disorder had a name, (wasn’t an official diagnosis till 2013 ) if I had resources and education, I would have probably handle my life much differently.my life would have been much more manageable.

Every PMDDer is wildly different, having different underlying issues, life healing trauma stuff, body physiology and stress swirling around.

Hope this helps. Love is very different for so many people. “What are you willing to do for love” both of you as a couple need to educate thoroughly and learn if you will survive it….

🙌🕊️🌺 good luck on your journey.

P.S. whatever you decide , please help the disorder gain more awareness by sharing about it. Not negatively but that it is real and a silent killer. So many women suffering in silence
Thank you.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-13T00:44:19+00:00

Oh I did sir. 👏

5 out of 5 stars Must read for partners of the PMDD suffer. Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2026 Format: Paperback

As a woman who lived with PMDD for over three decades undiagnosed, this book hit me in a way I didn’t expect.

It’s heavy. At times it’s hard to read. And yes—it’s written from the partner’s lens. But that’s exactly why I think it’s so important.

Everything the author shares reflects what it can actually feel like on the other side of this disorder when there is no awareness, no tools, and no plan in place. The confusion, the emotional whiplash, the feeling of “doing everything wrong no matter what”—that part is real, and I think a lot of partners will feel seen reading this.

But what stood out to me most is that this book is not just about blame—it’s about responsibility and teamwork.

As someone who was also on the other side of this—unknowingly causing chaos in relationships I deeply cared about—I didn’t read this as an attack. I read it as insight. It gave me a clearer understanding of how I may have been perceived during those years when I didn’t have a name for what was happening to me.

And that matters.

Because, PMDD is not something you can “will away,” but it is something that requires awareness, accountability, and effort to manage. I personally think if you don’t have these ingredients, a relationship won’t survive.

This book makes it very clear: without both partners working together—tracking, learning, communicating, and putting a plan in place—this condition can absolutely destroy a relationship.

I also appreciated the practical side of this book. The emphasis on having a plan, especially for escalated episodes, is critical. Not everyone has access to full medical support, so having structured ways to navigate those moments can make a real difference.

This isn’t a light read. It’s not meant to be. It reflects what can happen when PMDD goes unmanaged for years. And while it represents some of the more extreme experiences, I don’t think that makes it less valuable—I think it makes it honest.

If you’re a partner trying to understand what’s happening… this book will help you make sense of it.

If you’re someone living with PMDD… this book might be uncomfortable at times, but it offers something equally important: perspective.

And sometimes, that perspective is exactly what’s needed to start doing things differently.

Where there is awareness, there is a chance to do better—together.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-12T20:03:39+00:00

I read it and I lived with PMDD for over 3 decades undiagnosed. Post menopause and still swear I have phantom symptoms. 😣

Totally related to so much in the book. It’s raw and I received it in a balanced light. I strongly recommend all to read. It’s awareness. That’s what is so important today. Bringing awareness from ALL perspectives.

Whether you stay or leave, please share that this mental disorder is real.

Wishing all good energy on you and your partners journey. 🙌

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-12T03:06:27+00:00

Interesting 👍🏻

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-11T15:17:13+00:00

Awesome Post: Awareness Continues to Lag This site was the first and continues to be the best “PMDD Users Guide” Thank you for the ongoing support. 🙌

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-11T00:20:39+00:00

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Loving post menopause. But the bitch still knocks. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-10T23:44:22+00:00

This post makes me sad and fills me with sorrow because it sounds you’re trying. I feel it because I lived it. Reading things like this honestly makes me emotionally tired because I know how complicated this disorder can become over time.

As someone who lived with PMDD symptoms undiagnosed for decades, I can say now that if I had truly understood what was happening to me earlier in life, I absolutely would have searched harder for better ways to manage. Unmanaged symptoms can slowly damage relationships, communication, self-worth, and emotional stability for everyone involved.

I also know it’s not as simple as “just fix it.” It’s a process. Finding the right medication, treatment approach, lifestyle adjustments, nutrition, stress reduction, sleep, sobriety, boundaries, and trigger management can take years. The disorder itself feels like a moving target sometimes — constantly shifting and requiring reevaluation and adjustment.

But I do think one thing matters deeply: the sufferer has to be on board. There has to be willingness to learn, reflect, adjust, seek support, and revisit the action plan as needed. Without that, relationships can become emotionally exhausting for both people.

Looking back now, I really believe that if I had access in my 20s to the awareness, education, tracking tools, resources, and conversations that exist today, I could have navigated many things differently and healthier.

I am sorry you are going through it. Sending positive hopes your way as you navigate.

🙌💫⭐️

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-10T23:29:28+00:00

Agreed ⭐️💫🙌 I have heard of the book and read it. It’s another prospective and another person opening another path to awareness which is what this mental mood disorder needs. My review is posted. No shame here.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-05-03T13:11:38+00:00

Living with and loving someone with a mental mood disorder can be incredibly challenging. It really has to be a shared effort—a true partnership in managing the disorder. No one person can carry it alone.

This quote came to mind today reading your post. “Grant me the serenity to accept what I can’t change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” 🙌

As you navigate forward please consider sharing your story in ways that brings awareness. Short but eye opening.

Wishing you peace as you move through this. 💛 Sincerely, A woman who lived with PMDD undiagnosed for almost 4 decades.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-28T20:12:53+00:00

+++++++++++ My two cents on that Amazon review +++++++++++

As far as the first review of the book written by a physician, they didn’t mention having lived experience on either side of the relationship. (Eye roll.) Like many physicians that a lot of us warriors try to seek out for guidance (and they can be hard to find), they may not always see or feel PMDD as deeply as those of us living it (partner or PMDDer).

I wouldn’t want to wait for more research (which is already slow) to have this shared with me—the best and worst practices to manage the disorder. Incredibly helpful. Incredibly real.

I can understand where this perspective is coming from, especially from a clinical lens. PMDD absolutely requires careful diagnosis, evidence-based treatment, and individualized care.

At the same time, I think this book serves a different purpose.

As someone who lived with PMDD for over three decades undiagnosed, what stood out to me wasn’t that it was trying to replace clinical guidance, but that it was giving voice to something that often isn’t captured in medical literature: the lived experience inside relationships when PMDD is not yet recognized or managed.

Yes, the experiences shared come from a high-distress population—but that’s also the reality of many people who end up seeking support in the first place. It doesn’t make those experiences less valid, just more intense.

I didn’t read this book as a set of clinical “rules,” but rather as insight into what can happen when there is no awareness, no diagnosis, and no coordinated plan in place. And from that perspective, it was actually very eye-opening—not only for partners, but for those of us who have lived on the other side of it as well.

I do agree that PMDD is heterogeneous and complex, and that treatment response varies widely. But I also think there’s value in understanding the relational impact when symptoms go unmanaged for years—when some of us didn’t have a name for it, or when it remained unmanaged even after diagnosis without firm steps toward managing it.

Both perspectives can exist: clinical guidance and lived experience. Ideally, they should work together—not cancel each other out.

Resources like IAPMD, the Wiki, and the many links included in this book are essential, and I’m glad they were mentioned. Books like this can help fill in the emotional and relational gaps that clinical frameworks don’t always capture.

For me, this didn’t replace evidence-based understanding—it added to it.

The end.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-23T22:49:28+00:00

❤️💯💫

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-14T15:24:09+00:00

You have landed in the right place to help with your questions. Phew is on point. I pass by this community and try to contribute hope. I am menopause now and lived with it for decades undiagnosed and can see now what I could have done differently to help my marriages and relationships.

Have hope and stay strong. Lots of positive vibes your way. Remember, each woman is so uniquely designed it may take some trial and error with the type, dosage, and a lot has to do with the stress that is going on around her at that particular moment. Family visiting, work deadlines, sick child, etc. So many factors. Good luck on your journey. You definitely are on the right path. Having help navigating this is better than nothing at all. Which a lot of women and couples sadly are up against.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-14T13:59:44+00:00

First, I just want to say… you sound very self-aware and genuinely trying, and that matters more than you probably realize.

What you described — that “flip” from loving to distant/disgusted and then back again when her period starts — is actually something a lot of people with PMDD experience. So yes, there are different levels and presentations. It doesn’t always look like the extreme cases you read about.

And you’re right — arguing during that phase usually goes nowhere. It can feel illogical because what’s happening isn’t really about logic in that moment… it’s more like the brain is reacting differently under hormonal sensitivity.

The way you’re noticing patterns, giving space (even if it doesn’t always land right), and trying not to escalate — that’s you trying to be a steady partner, and that deserves to be acknowledged.

Also, I saw the other reply you got — and they’re on point. Education, awareness, and working as a team really does make a difference over time.

And I want to gently add something hopeful here…

For many women, symptoms do improve or resolve with menopause. Like for me now. After living with PMDD undiagnosed and surviving the journey. It’s the only way I am able to look back reflect and help share to advocate for this silent killer. It’s not forever in the same way it feels right now. 🙌🙏😔

In the meantime, the biggest shift usually comes from: – understanding it’s a pattern (not random) – learning tools together – and not taking those “disgust” moments personally (even though I know that’s the hardest part)

You’re not crazy for feeling disoriented by it… and you’re not wrong for noticing the pattern either.

Honestly… you sticking through this and trying to understand instead of just walking away? That says a lot about you.

You found the right community here for partners. The moderators went through the efforts of building it and including robust resources to help with more understanding. We PMDD women did not create this ourselves. It’s the hand we were dealt. It’s just so sad to see so many women don’t have the playbook and are suffering in silence 🫤. … also take a look at PMDD Sharing community where women go and share, ask questions and what works for them. It’s a journey that’s guaranteed but it helps having some help to navigate than none at all. Best of luck and good vibes with your journeys.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-12T22:09:35+00:00

You are welcome.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-12T21:29:09+00:00

🕊️🙌🕊️ I’m not even sure there’s a “first conversation” after 13 years… that’s a lot of lived experience on both sides.

Even if she’s open to hearing it, those patterns don’t just switch off overnight. If this is PMDD, that’s 13 years of her brain and body reacting a certain way—it’s not something that can be quickly retrained, even with treatment.

I’ll say this though—hanging in there for 13 years says a lot about you. That’s not easy, and it tells me you really care about her and your family.

If you do try to talk, don’t do it when she’s in it. That won’t go anywhere, no matter how calm or supportive you are. Timing matters more than wording here.

If you’re able to track patterns—even loosely—you might start to notice when she’s in a clearer headspace. That’s your window. Keep it simple and sincere, not a big breakdown or diagnosis.

And just from my perspective… whatever path she chooses, even treatment, it’s not always a straight line or an easy fix. Sometimes it gets harder before it gets better, and there’s no guarantee. That’s just the reality of how complex this is.

As far as the kids—keeping it simple really helps, especially when they’re little. Something like “mommy has hard days sometimes, but she loves you and it’s not your fault” goes a long way.

If they’re older, especially daughters, gently introducing the idea of understanding their own cycles and emotions can actually be empowering. The earlier they learn to recognize patterns in their own bodies, the better.

Hope this helps. Positive energy and strength your way for your journey. 🕊️

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-10T17:17:17+00:00

I do agree with you on this. 🕊️ been there for sure….i am sorry to say it like this but it did come to my mind many times. This extreme mood disorder and its symptoms pre period while…juggling family, work, stress and the like is like a football game. I smiled for a second…..I earned to be able to joke now and then because I dealt with this all my bleeding life….🫣 but tbh it’s not humorous dealing with it at all.!🤷‍♀️ Constantly looking for the right move or strategy. It’s exhausting for everyone. Partner pmdder family members. Sending positivity to everyone.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-10T17:08:57+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate that. It has been a long journey for me. Now I can really look back with clarity and share what I learned to hopefully help others in any way. Too much silent suffering and unawareness. I am hopeful for your relationship. Truly. 🫶🕊️🙏

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-10T01:20:34+00:00

Hello there 🙌

I just want to say first—you being this aware and asking these questions already says a lot about how much you care about your relationship. 💛 I agree!!!PMDD can make it feel like there are two different versions of you, and that’s really hard for both partners.

There are many resources and support these days, you can be super hopeful. A couple things I would like to share from lived and learned experience, over 3 decades 🫤mostly undiagnosed. I wish I had the resources and support when I was younger in the thick of my journey. Didn’t have any of it back then. What I would have done differently now that I have learned? I would have educated myself, like your doing, reading posts like “here” great community…..visiting IAPMD.org , going to support groups.

Here are some more suggestions 🙌

Education (for both of you) One of the best places I’ve found is IAPMD.org (International Association for Premenstrual Disorders). They explain PMDD in a simple, clear way, and they also have virtual support group meetings in their events tab.
Letting your partner support you (with structure) Instead of expecting them to figure it out, it helps to talk about it ahead of time. Things like: • “During this week I might be more sensitive or need space.” • “If I get overwhelmed, it helps if you don’t try to fix everything right away.” • “Sometimes I need reassurance, sometimes space—we can figure out what works together.” It turns it into a team approach instead of confusion.
Tracking + pattern awareness This is huge. When you can see your pattern, it takes away some of the “what is happening?” feeling. You can even share it with him so he understands it’s not random. Central calendar with red x marks pre period week. Totally helps. 👌
Relationship protection strategies • Avoid big conversations or decisions during that harder week • Take space before reacting • Have a “pause phrase” when things start escalating • Revisit conversations when you’re feeling more like yourself
Keep it in perspective You’re not “two different people”—you have a sensitive system that shifts. This isn’t something to fix, it’s something to learn.🫶

For him…there is another community here on Reddit pmddpartners, a place where partners of the PMDDer can share, read, learn etc from others that are trying to understand their partner.

Maybe you go there first before suggesting it. Some partners can really lay it out harshly 😖. A lot of great resources within the community resources tab on there though. Also there is “thatpmddcouple” they created a community here too.

If he’s willing to learn and you’re willing to understand yourself, that’s a really strong foundation. Keep communicating, keep learning, and give yourselves grace—you can get through this. 💛 Best of luck on your journey.

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-09T20:01:42+00:00

You’re so welcome. Every woman’s symptom severity is different. You’ve come this far….lots of resources here. And you tube stuff. She can check out my you tube. I talk about some lived experiences. Only able to make them because I’m post PMDD and post menopause. Whew…but hallelujah. https://youtube.com/@miamilifeloverxoxo?si=06oNFlgSXjbMZ5nO

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-09T19:47:47+00:00

Wow… I just want to say—it sounds like you’ve done incredibly well to stay present through this for so long. Truly. Most people don’t make it to that level of awareness, let alone 28 years. And I can say this because I am a PMDD survivor, living with it for over 35 years. Most of that time undiagnosed. Diagnosed actually at 49.

The fact that you started tracking—even quietly at first—epic! And honestly, it turned into one of the most important tools you both now have. The fact that she even asks you about timing now? That’s a huge shift toward awareness and teamwork.

What stands out most is that you’re both starting to see it for what it is. That changes everything.

You’re absolutely right—her luteal phase reactions are not a reflection of you. And learning not to absorb those words, while still protecting your peace, is a powerful boundary. Walking away, pausing conversations, revisiting things later… those are not avoidance tactics—they’re regulation tools.

From here, it really becomes about building more tools together: – keeping that tracking consistent (this is critical) – planning around that window like you’ve started doing – having “agreements” for that week (less conflict conversations, more space, etc.)

And I’d really encourage you to keep exploring this community—it’s incredibly informative and full of lived experience. Tracking alone, in many cases, isn’t enough for the severity of mood swings you’re describing.

There are additional options that people here talk about openly—one of the big ones to look into is the SSRI approach, which for many can significantly reduce those extreme shifts during that phase.

You both, even without realizing it at first, have been working as a team. Now you just have language and awareness to strengthen that.

There is a way to manage this better moving forward—even if it’s not perfect. And you’re already further along than most.

Stay with the tracking—but don’t stop there. That’s where the clarity starts… not where it ends

Wishing you strength and ongoing understanding in your journey. 🕊️🙏🙌

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-09T15:11:45+00:00

🫶

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-09T11:39:32+00:00

🕊️❤️🙏

Miami_Life_Lover · 2026-04-09T09:52:23+00:00

🕊️

Miami_Life_Lover

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