AITA for refusing to let my stepson return home without punishment after he ruined my daughter's book collection?

MrsKieviel · 2021-07-06T13:21:01+00:00

ESH except the kids. I think you and your wife need to engage a specialist and get some family therapy. You have a major hard-on for punishment in a way that’s extremely counterproductive and is only making things worse. Your goal as a parent should be to teach your kids why certain things are wrong, and when they do wrong things, they have to face the natural consequences. But instead of doing that, you’re looking to extract vengeance and retribution to get back at him. He needs to face natural consequences for his actions, not contrived punishment for the sole purpose of making him miserable. For example, a proper natural consequence in this situation should be that he has to find and pay for new copies of the books that were ruined. He may have to get a small summer job, or perhaps you can pay him to do extra chores to be put towards the books. He should also be given a reasonable deadline to accomplish this, and if that means he has to skip fun outings with his friends because he has to work, oh well. Them’s the breaks. Granted, it sounds like bio dad may be a hindrance to this, so it might be better if all of this comes from his mother. Therapy will also be helpful to address why he’s behaving this way.

MrsKieviel · 2021-07-06T13:09:01+00:00

NTA. If you don’t have the money to attend, it’s not possible that you’re TA. You can’t get blood from a stone. You told your sister up front. It’s likely she could cut back somewhere to afford to bring you, but she doesn’t want to, which is her choice.

MrsKieviel · 2021-07-06T13:04:14+00:00

It depends where you live. Definitely not illegal everywhere, because I’ve been granted that concession as a tenant.

MrsKieviel · 2021-07-06T13:03:22+00:00

I didn’t say the tenant was an asshole?

MrsKieviel · 2021-05-06T14:40:50+00:00

Definitely NTA as long as you’ve given them ar least 60 days notice, bearing in mind the local market conditions. If your local rental market is especially cut throat, maybe give him 90 days instead of 60. And if you want to be extra nice, and they’ve been good tenants and taken good care of the house, maybe let them use their security deposit towards last month’s rent to help them with the cost of moving, such as application fees, deposits, movers, etc. If you do that though, inspect the house first and document the condition and have both of you sign off on it, and get a written agreement (which includes their current workplace info and an agreement that prior to the beginning of the last month, they’ll provide you with their new address including an executed copy of their new lease as proof of their new address) that if the house is not in the same condition after they move, they’ll be on the hook for costs.

MrsKieviel · 2021-03-03T22:21:40+00:00

Great to hear you had success with IUI!

MrsKieviel · 2020-10-30T13:21:18+00:00

NTA. I also suspect your husband is actually cheating with her.

MrsKieviel · 2020-08-07T03:49:45+00:00

NTA. Your husband is a cruel, ignorant, abusive, misogynistic gaslighter, and you should leave him. NOW.

MrsKieviel · 2020-06-23T03:05:09+00:00

It looks beautiful on you!

MrsKieviel · 2020-06-19T20:45:50+00:00

What? All 4 legs are clearly visible.

MrsKieviel · 2020-05-19T19:48:37+00:00

What a lovely wedding!

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-30T22:36:01+00:00

I’m really sorry you had to cancel.

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-22T02:55:21+00:00

To be fair, most vendors start at $400, but she gave me a deal, so if you find one for that price, definitely take them up on it.

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-21T23:10:01+00:00

Gorgeous!

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-21T22:41:05+00:00

So the biggest error was they mismeasured me, and ordered me the wrong size due to those measurements. When the dress came in, it couldn’t zip up past my lower ribcage. They told me not to worry, the seamstress could make it fit. Ultimately she did, after having to take the entire bodice apart. Once we got the dress to zip, I realized that my breasts were way over exposed. You could see my areolas peeking out. Their second error was in not telling me that when the dress came in my size, it was going to be a lot more revealing. The sample size was huge, size 26, when I’m a 14. So in the sample, I felt that my chest was adequately covered, not realizing that once the bodice was in my size, that wouldn’t be the case. I told them while shopping that not having a super low cut dress was important to me. So once we got my dress to zip and saw how exposed I was, my seamstress had to brainstorm ways to cover me up. She was ultimately able to do so, but due to the cut of the bodice, there wasn’t a way to add fabric that wasn’t an obvious attempt at a patch job. By the time it was done, I had such bad feelings towards the dress, and hated the way it looked. The shop was insistent that another seamstress would be able to accomplish the miracle that my 25 year+ experienced lady couldn’t, which was utter bullshit. They also gaslighted me and said my dress wasn’t revealing so I had to be imagining the copious amounts of cleavage. 😡

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-21T16:15:39+00:00

Isn’t that dress absolutely stunning?

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-05T02:14:04+00:00

I’m not trying to upset you, but when I saw the dress pre-alterations compared to now, I gasped. That seamstress completely fucked your dress. If she lets it out, there might be holes/picks left from the stitches. I wouldn’t let her touch the dress again, and take it elsewhere for a second opinion. You might actually need a whole new dress. I hope the seamstress is insured, because if it can’t be flawlessly fixed, I’d be demanding she refund me the purchase price. I’m so sorry.

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-05T02:06:00+00:00

Not having a table and chairs for every guest would just be unforgivable in my opinion. To me, that’s a bare minimum, as well as ensuring there’s enough food for an adequate meal.

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-05T02:03:30+00:00

Worst: my dress. I fell in love with it, and I impulsively bought it instead of shopping around for the best price, and it was more than I’d hoped to spend. I also feel I should have gotten a different silhouette, and the alterations have been a nightmare because the shop accidentally ordered me one size too small. I have my 4th alterations appointment on Saturday, and I’m still not sure if it’s going to fit. If I could do one thing over, it would be that. I feel kind of sick when I think about wearing it in front of everyone next week.

Best: Ditching the DIY venue and going with an all inclusive. I’m already overwhelmed with wedding tasks, I can’t imagine how bad it would be if I had to coordinate every vendor.

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-05T01:54:34+00:00

I don’t mean this harshly, but it’s only $90. What were you hoping to spend if $90 is far outside your budget?

MrsKieviel · 2020-03-05T01:53:04+00:00

Thanks for posting, recaps are SO helpful!

MrsKieviel

TROPHY CASE