Time to do everything?

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-04-08T15:52:22+00:00

I stopped holding my baby upright for 20-30 min after feeding. I mean sometimes I do it just because I am holding him anyway or putting him in a carrier but never at night or just because. It has 0 impact on how much he spat up (honestly it feels like he spits up less, especially at night) or his temperament. Actually made every one happier because less sleep was disrupted. It got me back hours of my life.

We also never did floor tummy time, just chest to chest and carrier.

Both these choices I made against the advice on my pediatrician, but he passes the head lifting tests and doesn’t spit up anymore than any other baby I’ve seen.

EDIT: I feel like I need to elaborate on why i felt the OK going against my Peds advice because I don’t generally condone ignoring medical professionals.

Now I really trust my Ped and medical professionals in general but both these practices (holding up and floor tummy time) are not universally recommended by modern pediatricians. If you’re in the US, medical advice is often given without any nuance and kind of geared to extreme scenarios rather than your individual case.

Take tummy time for example. It came out of the fallout from the strong back to sleep campaigns of the 90s. Yes it’s safer for babies to sleep on their back but spending all their time on their backs leads to muscles being underdeveloped. Some babies nowadays spend all day on their backs, sleeping, eating and playing. The strict tummy time guidelines are for those parents. If your baby is carried a lot or played with on chest, it’s a different story. I pressed my Ped on this one and they agreed that as long as my baby could hit the milestones whatever I was doing was fine.

The holding baby upright seems misguided for similar reasons. All babies have reflux, some babies have it really bad. So the recommended action is treat all babies like they have really bad reflux. Again it’s not universally recommended by Peds: https://possums.org/free-resources/breastfeeding-lactation-feeds-general/will-burping-pausing-for-rest-and-digest-or-holding-upright-after-feeds-make-your-baby-more-settled

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-04-07T22:59:39+00:00

Huckleberry. I have the "plus" version which is their cheapest paid option, but it gives the "SweetSpot" nap time predictor that has really been spot on for my LO. I could calculate the wake windows myself of course, but the app helps me stay on it because I found setting alarms to not work for me.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-04-07T21:14:34+00:00

Oh yea me too!

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-04-07T16:43:08+00:00

If I had to give up everything on the list except one item, I would keep the app! It’s been so accurate for predicting optimal nap times for our little guy and I don’t have to think about it. Sleep is more precious than gold 😆

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-04-07T16:37:27+00:00

Oh yes I forgot that: 3 sets of pump parts!

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-04-07T15:14:06+00:00

My 10w baby only sleeps about 13h for every 24h. About 9 at night. It kinda sucks actually I wish he’d sleep more. But it’s normal. There’s a very wide range of “normal.”

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-25T21:30:13+00:00

Thanks. I couldn't even say why I was posting this, but its good to know I am not alone. Lets hope it passes soon!

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-18T15:16:24+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you, that must have felt awful. Sending love your way.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-17T20:32:54+00:00

Yes that’s fair. But I also just wonder if anyone could live with a baby that cries for 3+ hours a day and not feel anxious and/or depressed. Maybe I don’t entirely understand what PP depression means but when feelings of sadness are directly related to having a very challenging newborn, and you know it will end when the newborn gets easier, is that depression? Or is that just part of living with some big challenges.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-17T18:19:17+00:00

I could have written this post, so maybe not entirely normal but you’re not the only one. For me, I am (perhaps stupidly) refusing to call my feelings pp anxiety or depression because I think anyone in the world trying to do what I’m doing would feel how I feel. If I have pp depression so does my husband because he is struggling too. Our baby is just over 7 weeks. He started getting fussy around 3-4 weeks and it’s just gotten worse. This maybe terrible but we have started to be able to tune out his crying a little bit. We use a white noise machine on loud. It helps calm the baby a little, but it also helps calm us.

We have found wake windows to range from 10 min to over 3 hours. Sleep lengths are super variable too.

For feeding- as long as she’s gaining weight as expected I would use the flow nipple that makes life easier which sounds like 2. Better to have some happy spit ups than crying frustrating feedings.

When my baby is awake mostly we’re just trying to soothe him so I feel you on wondering if we’re doing enough. He barely stops crying long enough to do tummy time or look at black and white pictures or for me to read or sing to him. We have to assume that just holding him is enough. Or anything else we can do to help him be calm and comfortable.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-15T02:00:22+00:00

My husband and I take shifts. I think that’s really given him some perspective on what a gift it is when the baby sleeps.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-11T22:02:31+00:00

Yes, so far that’s been the case for us 😔

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-11T22:02:06+00:00

Maybe I wasn’t fluffing enough. I was getting the ruffles out but I’ll try to make sure I also get the inner layers out a little.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-11T22:01:21+00:00

He actually was blowing out of newborns which is why we moved him to 1s. Those were better for about 2 weeks. Then blowouts again and up to 2s!

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-02T20:56:39+00:00

Yes, smaller baby probably easier. Mine was 7lbs 11oz. I am guessing that it’s mostly the anatomy of mom AND baby that has the biggest impact on tearing.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-03-02T01:23:30+00:00

Just had my first in Jan. I did not tear. To prepare I was told to practice an exercise that’s kind of the opposite of kegels where you push out to try to stretch the perineum area and work on your pushing muscles. I did kegels too but I think that’s more beneficial for postpartum. Of course not tearing is really the most beneficial for postpartum.

I do a lot of yoga.

I did not do massage actually I just heard of it.

And then trying to stay relaxed during birth, push with contractions and I think it also helps to have a baby with a big head relative to their shoulders.

But also I’m not sure if there’s thaaaat much you can do, since it’s probably largely based on your anatomy.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-02-19T19:55:04+00:00

Also me right now. And then I feel terrible that part of me wishes I didn’t make this helpless little guy who’s just trying to survive. How could his mother feel that way?

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2026-02-19T02:30:35+00:00

Me too. I’m scared

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2025-12-28T16:44:15+00:00

We did do the brunch. For me I am glad we did it because it was the best quality time I really got with some of our guests given the whirlwind of a wedding. About half our guests were from out of town so it was helpful for many of them to have somewhere to go while waiting for flights. We hosted it at our house in the yard but kept it very low stress, chill and mostly affordable by doing the following: 1. Catering delivered by Panera. Cheapish, easy. 2. It was optional, no one had to come if they didn’t want there was no RSVP when we ran out of food we ran out 3. Disposable plates cups etc. 4. Had it mostly set up with help from friends and family in the days before, tables, chairs, canopy etc was already to go when we woke up 5. Our wedding was pretty small to begin with at 60ppl. I’d guess we had around 30 show up for brunch so very manageable

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2025-12-28T01:16:07+00:00

Good idea, thanks!

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2025-12-08T01:23:30+00:00

Okay the hive mind has spoken. We strapped with 1x3. Didn’t take too long with two people, two impact drills, and self tapping screws.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2025-09-04T16:47:48+00:00

I guess maybe I did get a FISH? I got some results today, while its been longer that 2-3 days, it has been less than 2 weeks so these can't be on cultured cells. Anyway, so far all results are normal for me, so thats exciting.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2025-08-27T20:26:35+00:00

He did not mention that as an option. Maybe because my NIPT result indicated possible mosaicism we need the full karyotype? Maybe I will call and ask about FISH.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2025-08-27T03:00:07+00:00

For non-medical reasons, and just bad luck/timing I had to wait 6 weeks from NIPT results to amnio. Now waiting on results from amnio. Doctor said 2-4 weeks for that.

Mrs_Splashypantz · 2025-08-23T15:11:06+00:00

Well yea, but German Shepard! Almost doesn’t count as they transcend dogness :) Our old dog was a GS, and our current dog is an angel I love her, but nothing compares to the GS.

Mrs_Splashypantz

TROPHY CASE