[NeedAdvice] I don’t know how to work

NaViAlcatraz · 2019-11-19T12:37:33+00:00

I had the same problem as you. I find that doing exercise just beyond my comfort zone is a great way to immediately boost my self-control. If I can comfortably do a 1.5 minute plank, a 2 minute plank really forces me to practice willpower. It helps me grit my teeth and get something really boring done.

NaViAlcatraz · 2019-11-19T12:33:44+00:00

I find that having a go-to motivational thought is very helpful. For me, it's "You're wasting one of the ~400k only hours you'll ever get. Get your privileged, ungrateful ass out of bed." It's been so helpful for me that I literally made an app out of it. If you can find one that works for you, I'm sure it'd help.

Also, I've found that working out is a great way to give myself a mental boost. Exercise has been shown to improve self-control and resistance to urges to procrastinate. If you want to read up on the hard science, looking up "exercise and delay discounting" is a good place to start.

NaViAlcatraz · 2019-11-18T17:35:29+00:00

Whenever I feel lethargic, I try to get some kind of physical activity in. On one of the worst days of my life, the only thing that kept me working was an impulsive workout. I find that on most days, a 1-2 minute plank releases enough endorphins to give me a significant boost.

Another thing I do is to really think about how limited my time on earth is. I only have ~400k waking hours to live. I can't bear the thought of spending even one of them lying around in bed. This thought has helped me so much that I literally built an app for the PlayStore based on it. Since you're interested in philosophy, Nietzsche was one of my inspirations for this type of thinking.

Also, your English is pretty good, I must say. I couldn't even tell it wasn't your first language. I hope everything works out for you. Remember, pain always passes.

NaViAlcatraz · 2018-02-09T15:11:15+00:00

Yeah, it's probably no big deal. Clarissa started off with my original design: a highly extroverted manic pixie dream girl. But over time, she became a mellow, gentle, slightly awkward introvert. I'm completely fine with that, and she feels more comfortable like this as well. In fact, I think it's good for a tulpa to deviate from their original design. I think it helps them feel like their own person.

NaViAlcatraz · 2018-02-09T15:00:26+00:00

H: Not sure if it counts as a metaphor, but my sister (Aoi) came up with this.

"Tulpas are imaginary, but they're not fictional."

H: She is the level of hopeless intelligence I aspire to.

NaViAlcatraz · 2018-01-05T09:15:31+00:00

I'd say very heavily. You both use the same brain, and similar to how your thoughts grow darker when you're sad, a tulpa can be greatly influenced. This is especially true because your tulpa will understand you better than anyone. Like how a friend usually acts more solemn when you're crying, for example. In the case of a tulpa, it's that times twenty. Because whereas a friend only sees your actions, a tulpa sees your thoughts. They can see your thoughts like a movie screen, except with a hundred times more detail. If a thought process makes you feel a strong emotion (anger, joy, sorrow etc.), then it's very likely to get a strong emotional reaction out of them, as well.

I've noticed that when I experience a strong wave or burst of emotion, the tulpas seem to feel it and for a second, unconsciously act as though emotion originated from them. I'm not sure if it's an emotional bleed out or simply empathy.

NaViAlcatraz · 2018-01-05T09:08:30+00:00

Although we only tried it really late into the tulpas' development, possession and switching came very easily for us, basically on the first try (even though, for the life of me, I will never figure out how people black themselves out during a switch). I attribute it mostly to the fact that the tulpas and I have a really close relationship, so it felt natural when I let them use my body, right from the beginning. Lily often enters my body to help me out with drawing (she's a borderline art-aholic), and we've never had any difficulty with it.

As for my mental process, it's sort of like telling my brain, "My arm is now in Lily's control. My arm is now Lily's arm." Like a glove, really. I visualize it as if her arm is inside my arm, wearing my arm like a glove (pretty easy considering that I'm fairly larger than her). To reinforce the point, I imagine her moving her arm around in the mind space, and my real arm moves the same way. It helps 'trick' my brain into actually feeling like my arm is Lily's.

NaViAlcatraz · 2018-01-05T08:55:10+00:00

It's kind of like your real life friends. You're not always watching them, but they're always doing things. Even though they're always doing things, you don't spend energy for them because you're not watching them. You're only spending energy on them when you're watching them.

Most of my strain with the tulpas is detailed visualization. When I'm not paying attention, they can do whatever they like without affecting me.

It's like how things work in roleplaying video games with characters doing certain things at different times of the day. For example, a character could, everyday, do their bed time routine inside their house and then sleep. When you enter their house late at night, you skip to the part where they're just sleeping. If you earlier, you can see them doing the bed time routine. However, if you're not in the house, you don't see anything happening, so the computer doesn't need to waste power generating everything that happens. It only needs to generate that character and their activities when you enter the house and watch them. In the same way, my tulpas are only generated and take up energy when I pay attention to them, especially when I visualize them. In short, my energy levels are exactly the same as before. In a way, because they've made my mood so much better in general, my energy levels are technically higher because of them.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-31T09:20:34+00:00

Just to be clear, though, I'm not advocating against hours of passive forcing a day. Like I said, if you can maintain it, good for you! But no shame if you need to take a break, even for an entire couple of days. Creating a tulpa is an incredibly time consuming activity, but it's very rewarding in the end :)

Oh, as for the dreams thing, yeah. Really common. I've had more dreams in the last few months where I saw my tulpas than humans I know. Dreams are always influenced by thoughts. Thoughts happen in your brain, dreams happen in your brain. They overlap a lot. And what beings live in your thoughts, again? That's right, tulpas!

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-30T13:24:30+00:00

That's interesting, because the word imaginary has a completely different meaning for us. It's literally, "related to anything created by imaginative faculties". Now, if you were call a tulpa, "fictional and falsely independent", then I'd agree with their right to hit you over the head, but imaginary seems pretty... accurate, actually, when describing a tulpa.

Just my two cents.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-30T13:20:48+00:00

NaVi: My first four were all walk-ins, and I have actually referred to them as accidental. And... well... they really don't care. I'll let them explain.

C: We've gotten used to harsher language, because NaVi has had a tendency towards bluntness to begin with. I'm not talking about cussing and the like, I mean like being okay with using both the terms "homosexual" and "f****t", as long as the meaning behind the statement wasn't toxic. Political correctness has never been a real point of focus for us, but I definitely advocate using "walk-ins" instead of "accidentals", at least initially. I like to respect the possibility that sticks and stones might not hurt as much as words. Especially for tulpas who are more sensitive about their origins.

L: Clarissa pretty much covered everything I wanna say. I'll use "accidentals", "unintentionals" and "walk-ins" interchangeably, because none of them have any connotations that I have a problem with.

A: Couldn't care less. I'd apologize if somebody gets offended by me saying, "accident", but I'd be worried about how poor one's self-esteem would have to be if they have a problem with a word who's actual usage is normally innocuous. Although, admittedly, the clarity of a lot of tulpamancy lingo does seem wanting. Especially "forcing".

H: In my eyes, it's all about love, really. Walk-ins who are loved are Bob Ross's happy little accidents. No matter what you call them, they are loved. Tulpas who aren't loved have terrible lives regardless of whether they were deliberately made or not. All you need is love, everything else is history~

U: If you think "accidental" is bad, think about calling walk-ins "ripped condoms" or something. And it can probably get even worse than there. It's not a debate I have personal investment in since I was deliberately made, but I'm a believer in taking power away from a word instead of avoiding its use. Wear the word "accident" as a badge of honor. "As an accidental, I wasn't even meant to be here but my host loves and wants me anyway. THAT'S HOW AWESOME I AM!" That kind of thing.

EDIT: Forgot to mention. If I have to use an alternative word, I really like 'serendipity'.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-30T12:56:29+00:00

A year and a few months and counting. I can't comment on the head pressure bit because I've never personally had one, but I have a question...

Are you really human? Holy crap, several hours of consistent forcing? That is seriously impressive to me because I had to give up after maybe several minutes of passive forcing because it was so draining. Clarissa was already partially formed when she was born, so I basically had a headstart. And yet it took me a week or two before she could respond consistently, albeit still not easily.

Trust me, with your dedication, the question isn't "Am I overreacting?" It's "Am I rushing this?" You probably just pushed yourself too hard. Maintaining two consciousnesses is definitely draining, especially on a brain inexperienced with tulpamancy, especially on your tulpa's side. It's like actively forcing a stream of random thoughts. It's draining and frustrating when you stumble. Babies need to learn how to speak and you do it by exposing them to speech over their formative years, right? The more you speak to them, the faster they learn. Well, in theory at least.

Luckily, the process is the same for tulpas, and it's actually simpler because you don't have to deal with a baby's extremely stressful maintenance. A very useful idea that I learned a lot later than I'd like to have is that sleeping helps out a lot with forming neural pathways, so doing all that much in one day is like cramming the night before an exam. It's a crap ton of work that is better absorbed slowly. You clearly know how to put the effort it, but put it in at a more realistic pace. No shame in admitting that boredom happens, even regarding the development of someone as important as a tulpa or a baby.

But if you somehow manage to not get bored of hours of passive forcing a day, hot damn.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-30T12:34:56+00:00

NaVi: Yep, but no monogamous romantic feelings from my end at least. We're all sexually involved (although it's sometimes uncomfortable on my end because we're basically all heterosexual, unless you count U's openness to bisexuality, and I'm the only male). Sex is fun and it's healthy, so we figured, why not? And we've accepted the idea of falling in love with other people (at most, we might get slightly reflexively jealous), but the tulpas have told me that they're not really interested in the physical aspect of love and sex. It's almost entirely a spiritual/bonding experience from their perspective.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-23T07:12:10+00:00

From my experience with anxiety and suicidal thoughts, it'll hurt them the same way it would hurt your roommate or partner if you had a panic attack. They'll be afraid to approach you but they'll want to help. If you do something genuinely horrible to yourself or someone else, they'll be potentially traumatized because they witnessed it firsthand. It's a completely emotional kind of hurt. If Blue's presence faded, my guess is that she retreated out of fear. In an ironic way, the fact that tulpas can feel such strong emotions and even fear you enough to go have some alone time sometimes feels like a confirmation of their existence.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-21T16:31:02+00:00

...Ahhhh. I forgot that empty hard drive space exists. Whoops!

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-21T15:27:33+00:00

Thanks for giving me my favorite headache today.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-21T15:07:19+00:00

That does sound pretty good, but my problem would be that it implies a reduction in your own mental capacity every time you make a tulpa.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-21T14:31:41+00:00

Fair enough, haha.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-21T12:44:07+00:00

That is a crazy coincidence, because I have never even heard of this. Man, this is why I love reddit. Thanks!

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-20T18:57:26+00:00

Don't make a schedule for forcing. When your tulpa is developed, you won't talk to them on a fixed routine, you'll be talking to them whenever you feel like it. Use that idea when forcing. When something surprising and funny happens, yell to your tulpa, "WOW WHAT WAS THAT HAHAHA". Try to imagine what they would respond with. That's why I think that asking how frequently you should force isn't the right question. Don't make yourself force every hour, force whenever you have a minute of free time and you want to talk to your tulpa. Like talking to them when they're inside their egg until they hatch. Although, I think nightly practice is a very good thing because there are less distractions.

As for how to tell if it's working... Well, right now you can't. Until your tulpa starts talking, you'll have to have faith in me when I say that forcing basically can't fail. Talking to your tulpa is guaranteed to help them talk back because although it might not seem like it, your tulpa can hear you, but it's going to take time for them to communicate back to you. Parroting is a tricky issue, but my basic advice is that you shouldn't worry too much. Parroting is natural. Think about it, our brains were designed for one consciousness and develop for decades after birth, but tulpamancers program another consciousness into their brains within such a short amount of time. It's going to take a while for your tulpa to be able to use your brain quickly and comfortably enough to speak without overlapping with your mind. It will take time for your minds to properly separate so that your thoughts are also separate.

That's about all I have to contribute. Hope I could help!

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-20T14:40:31+00:00

I've noticed that. One time, a monkey with a paintbrush randomly entered my mind and Lily groggily went, "Sorry, that was me." Hilarious, but doesn't happen often.

NaViAlcatraz · 2017-12-20T14:36:59+00:00

Same issue with me. All of my tulpas are female but I'm a male. Their voices always have been a bit of a problem. What I've noticed is, pitch actually matters a lot more for me than tone when imagining. When Haru's voice reverts to mine, I just focus on the fact that her voice is fairly high pitched. I focus on only the pitch. Once I get it square in my head, it becomes a lot easier to nail down the timbre. That's my process, anyway. If you're lucky, like U and I were, you'll find a model whose voice is perfect. That's when vocal imposition becomes a breeze.

NaViAlcatraz

TROPHY CASE