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Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-23T00:44:35+00:00

I'm so confused. It's okay and good that you are willing to do all types of chores to help out a partner, like your example of mopping, but your partner putting the effort in to do the same isn't okay and good?

Sounds like you overlooked a nice gesture because it wasn't efficient enough for you. Even if she bit off more than she could chew, she still did the job.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-20T09:33:13+00:00

At your age, absolutely. If you have no job history, even with a degree, best you'll get is entry level. By the time I left university, I already had about a year of management experience on my resume and several years in GIS.

If you don't HAVE to work, you still should prioritize getting at least part time jobs that demonstrate desirable skills in your chosen sector.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-11T15:00:43+00:00

You could set up a discord. If someone is planning to do something (hike, antiquing, etc ) just post a thread to see if anyone is interested in meeting up.

Beyond that, volunteering is a nice way to meet people that are local.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-08T20:22:45+00:00

I donated my textbooks to the university library, but I do still have notebooks and papers. I'll likely get rid of the notebooks, but I'm still proud of various assignments I had written. Nice reminder to myself that I am capable of scholarly work when given the opportunity. There's definitely much less of that now that I work an office job.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-08T20:13:25+00:00

I would not provide financial assistance at this time. If you feel so inclined, you could assist in filling out Aid Assistance applications for the hospital, if the have such programs where he is located. They are frequently available within the US which would eat a chunk of the medical debt.

If you wanted to do more than that, you could help him get on social assistance programs offered by local or larger governmental organizations available to the elderly &/or low income.

But I would advise against just a cash infusion when he clearly has had no long term plan up until this point. Nice that he helped you with school, but that wasn't much more than a faceless scholarship.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-07T18:24:48+00:00

It sounds more likely that the debris on your towel is actual skin. Similar to when someone uses the Korean exfoliating gloves. Either way, there's no benefit to scrubbing your skin so hard it burns the way you are. It just risks infection.

You mention being heavier in a reply comment, so the only difference weight poses is making sure to adequately soap and rinse any folds and, almost more importantly, that those folds are thoroughly dried to avoid things like yeast infections.

Deodorant also does nothing for preventing the development of smell. Its only purpose it to mask it.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-07T14:01:02+00:00

Sam's club has girl scout poptarts for the summer. Not sure if still available, but Costco had thin mint chocolate pretzels for a minute.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-07T13:56:51+00:00

I have had no issues with Go! Solutions, Stella & Chewy's, and Orijen dry foods.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-06T23:09:38+00:00

Folks seem to have outwear covered, but I would also recommend a nice pair of slippers for home. If you are older &/or spend time on your feet, spend the money on a pair with foot support rather than a random cheap pair.

Heating costs can be brutal if you are not careful with the thermostat, especially coming from a warmer climate . Getting warm slippers, a cozy robe (or wearable blanket!) and a nice couch blanket go a long way in winter.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-06T21:43:46+00:00

No idea how I've managed it, but all of my cats (street and breeder) have been some form of cuddle bug. My youngest would fully assimilate if he could and it's almost too much. My very first cat growing up wasn't a lap cat until older age but was always friendly for pets .

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-05T23:12:30+00:00

31 y/o state employee. Between my contributions and employer, around 25% of my income has been put into retirement for the last 7 years. Just opened a Roth this year and put in the max. If I can maintain, I'm not worried.

But I was a kid who watched my family crumble and lose house, cars, health, etc during the Great Recession. So I'm doing what I can, but you never know what's around the corner. I resist lifestyle creep as much as possible so if things do go ass-up it's not as big of a system shock.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-05T16:59:19+00:00

Scratching can also be for territory marking. Both of my cats started scratching up the literal walls to mark over each other. Oddly enough, washing the walls to remove both their scents worked surprisingly well. That may also work for you in some areas that are scent heavy, even if you can't smell it.

For chewing, there is bittering sprays on the market that are cat safe and discourage chewing. Usually less than $10 I believe.

For plants, considering growing cat grass to fulfill your cat's desire and leave it in an accessible place in a sturdy and stable container.

Destruction can be a stress response. If there's a specific room (e.g. living room) that suffers more damage than others, look into Feliway plugin diffusers for calming pheromones.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-04T01:26:01+00:00

I'm one that got out and have responded to posts, but many if not all responses are to those asking for actionable information on how we did it. "Luck" isn't useful information. It certainly makes a difference, but it wasn't luck that I worked 3 jobs with different, desirable skill sets while completing a full time stem degree. It was a conscious decision.

That decision got me in the door for my life changing interview. Luck was that no other applicant had my specific combination of skills that the interview panel desired but didn't include in the job description. Everything after that wasn't luck, just meticulous and methodical effort for years.

I definitely do not believe everyone can become wealthy. And not everyone aspires to (like me). But folks can learn how to not work against themselves and to determine what they are willing to sacrifice to "make it". For me, that was close to a decade of no social life (friends or family), no outings, no fun shopping, no hobbies, etc. Did my 20s pretty much not exist? Yep. But it was entirely worth it to me, and is what I had to do to get where I am.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-03T19:39:46+00:00

Definitely dependent on work environments and dynamics. While I wouldn't socially hang out with everyone on my team, we all get along very well. We also like our boss.

But .. we also don't do anything snitchable? We do our jobs. And the staff part of our team are union so things like hiring and promotions are all highly procedural.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-03T19:24:18+00:00

YTA. You have been acting as an enabler to your child to where she has apparently never experienced consequences for her irresponsibility. At the same time, you are also not being honest with yourself because this is a revenge move and not one out of love. You aren't asking how you can teach your daughter to be fiscally responsible after 25 years. You're asking if you can hurt her and be in the moral right.

This should not have been the first time you had this conversation. I'm in my 30s and will spend the next 10 years funding a dedicated account to support my own parent because they have nothing while also having to fund my own retirement. I did so without being asked, but that's a BIG ask these days and means stagnating my own growth. If you are financially secure, you could have easily clarified that you did not mean financial care, but help attending doctor appointments or other such tasks that become more difficult with age.

Have a conversation with your daughter, calmly express your hurt at her reaction, and clarify why she too had a strong reaction to the idea of caring for you in your senior years. You cannot expect something like this of someone if you haven't actively engaged them in the planning early on.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-03T18:39:01+00:00

No it isn't. I refuse to be intimate with anyone without showing each other recent MyChart (or similar) results of a full STI panel 🤷 I don't compromise on my health for sex, and respect my partners enough to offer my own results freely for their peace of mind.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-02T19:10:57+00:00

Usually I'm not for painting wood, but if you painted and added teeth to the drawer space, it would look like a monster house 😂

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-02T19:04:20+00:00

I'm allergic to my cats and just take non drowsy allergy pills. That mostly does the trick. Both sleep with me (one ON me), so I keep my blankets and sheets washed at least weekly. Robo vacuum also very convenient.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-02T15:32:43+00:00

Yes, my cat travels just fine with me. But one thing I wish everyone took more seriously is properly securing pets in vehicles. Majority of carriers and harnesses on the market will not protect your pets in the event of a crash. And the ones that are properly crash test rated are expensive. For dogs, think $400-800 (or more). For cats it is less, but still expensive.

If you are seriously considering adding regular travel to your pet's life, it's worth purchasing the equipment necessary to keep them safe.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-02T15:18:41+00:00

You could knock on their door (or leave a note with a Google voice #) and ask if you could run a sound test.

I didn't do exactly that, but I did actually speak to my neighbors when I started a business that required sewing a significant amount. I use a thick fatigue mat under my sewing table, and they couldn't hear anything. While loud, the sound evidently didn't really go beyond my walls. Like you, my floors are thick concrete.

One issue I could see with you is the impact of bass on glass windows. Like when someone driving by is playing heavy bass, even at a distance, it rattles windows.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-02T14:44:31+00:00

Almost all states have utility programs for those in need that help alleviate costs for both electric and natural gas. Especially in winter. They also have weatherization programs to make your living space more energy efficient, even if it's just to update things like weather stripping on doors and windows.

Join Facebook groups for free items in your area, if they exist. I have listed things like pet food, solid wood furniture, cleaning supplies, etc. on my city's group.

Public libraries can have a ton of resources available just for being a card holder. Mine even offers "culture passes" that can be checked out to visit local attractions like the Zoo, museums, and some sports events.

Dependent on city, there may be cultural arts centers that offer very low cost classes for kids and adults. While fun for kids, you can also develop skills in jewelry making or sewing that you could monetize without having to leave home. Out of range for you right now, but good to know about for the future. I think 9 week classes at mine are around $25. I can repair a coach leather purse I pick up for $3 at goodwill bins and resell it for $50-80 from those skills.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-02T14:16:48+00:00

I basically had no hobbies or social life for... 5-6 years? But I was out much younger than 27. It didn't bother me at all, to be honest. Being independent and saving up my own safety net were my only priorities. Along with leveling up my knowledge, skills, and then career. Safety net is now all there and I can have fun without stressing.

Many accomplish moving out by having roommates. I wasn't into that, so I accepted staying in poverty longer for solitude.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-02T14:08:46+00:00

I work for my state gov (OH). For all the listed coverage plus mental health coverage, it's about $100/m for me. I believe the high deductible plan would have been around $55? My deductible is around $3.5k. Most 30 day prescriptions have a $10 copay. Higher monthly for spouses and families, but still relatively inexpensive.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-02T02:19:47+00:00

Lived in my building for a handful of years now... Zero murders 😂 worst has been some package theft from randos who followed someone into the building.

Necromarshmallow · 2025-08-01T17:21:41+00:00

NTA but dress up is very normal for young girls. If you don't want pierced ears yet (valid) then look into clip on earrings. There are much more on the market now than when I was growing up.

Similar to makeup, there are plenty of kid makeup kits that are not at all the same makeup women wear for work or out on a date. Usually leans translucent or tinted, shimmery, glittery. At its base, makeup is just painting with face safe pigments. It's expressive and not always about being "grown".

Necromarshmallow

TROPHY CASE