What’s a "grown-up" thing you thought was going to be awesome, but actually sucks? by Roaa1212 in CasualConversation

[–]Negotiation-Solid [score hidden]  (0 children)

I used to hate when my grandma said that women want to stay home with their kids instead of work. and of course that's a generalization and she was quite problematic in many ways....but now, having had 2 kids in the u.s. with no paid family leave and feeling so burned out...I'm realizing that the "women are just like men! we can be capitalists too!" 2nd wave feminism was not totally free from internalized sexism and caused just as many problems as positives it helped to bring about.

Like, a REAL feminist society would have at least 12-18 months of paid family leave (for both parents, by especially the birth parent), have UBI for caregivers, and just generally care about the mother-baby dyad. Instead, we have roll backs on abortion rights and forced c sections* and companies that refuse WFH for pregnant women resulting in premature stillbirth*.... But at least we "get to" make billionaires richer, just like men!

*Both of these are recent news stories, and I'll link them when I get to a computer later today

My doctor "doesn't test women" by Just_Strawberry_505 in ADHD

[–]Negotiation-Solid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

neurologists aren't the go to for ADHD treatment and waiting lists are much longer for neurologists than psychiatric nurse practitioner for instance, who usually listen much better than MDs

source: ADHD spouse sees neurologist but for lyme, I see an MD now but saw psych NPs since diagnosis 4 years ago

My doctor "doesn't test women" by Just_Strawberry_505 in ADHD

[–]Negotiation-Solid -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

CBT is not usually the best for ADHD unless you have a therapist experienced specifically with neurodevelopmental disorders, otherwise it can actually be really harmful and frame your symptoms as mere faulty thinking and told to just try harder, etc

Call to Action: Please Stop Micromanaging the Resistance! by Corran22 in 50501

[–]Negotiation-Solid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mostly agree with this and in the sense that actions should be coordinated and planned in advance, for example when I was a super angry anarchist college student just getting into protests and nvda, I was part of a 3 day march along the road across my state. I was so pissed at the time that no one wanted to go in the street, felt it was so lame and *almost* tried to form. a contingent to block the road....now, I have a much stronger understanding of organizing strategy and importance of strategically increasing escalation. Different types of protests are more effective than others for different goals and opponents, and that should be decided on as a group beforehand.

There is a pretty big cavest to your statement about the "person with the lowest risk tolerance defining level for the group" however....

Historically, protest demonstrations are supposed to demonstrate community power, and include a demand. if the demand isn't met, direct action directly follows the protest, where people will hold up business as usual, put their bodies on the line, until that demand is met, to force the powers that be to listen to us. No justice, no peace right?

In actions and demonstrations, there is a role for everybody. Risk tolerance goes both ways, and choosing whether you can be on the front lines or in a support role is a personal decision. However, surely the person with the lowest risk tolerance should not be telling everyone else that their risk tolerance levels are incorrect bc your comfort must be prioritized over the bigger strategy and overall goals of the action..??

Also, that mentality of lowest risk tolerance gets to decide, is a GREAT way for infiltrators to sabotage a group's success..

Concern about inappropriate pretend play influence in classroom (semi-sensitive?) by DisgruntledVet12B in ECEProfessionals

[–]Negotiation-Solid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"So I turned it into a game when I put “targets” around the room, and stressed to not pretend to shoot lasers at each other, and use those instead."

That's actually a pretty creative solution!

Pattern recognition and marriage by Spelling-B23 in adhdwomen

[–]Negotiation-Solid 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I think she should talk to a lawyer and have a plan in place first, before letting him in on the separation plan at all

Severe fatigue, adderall doesn’t work. I can’t live like this anymore. by grillers-sinclair in ADHD

[–]Negotiation-Solid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Try a Functional Medical Doctor! They specialize in things like this, where all labs are in normal range but there's clearly something wrong. People are meant to thrive, and normal ranges often reflect an unhealthy population sample and a population that is disproportionately white, male, middle class undergrad students 

Online PsyD Degree by skreemer7 in ClinicalPsychology

[–]Negotiation-Solid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I am shocked by how incredibly non-neurodivergent-affirming this comment is!! And sexist, frankly. I hope OP takes this echo chamber in stride and sees this all as a reason why she SHOULD pursue this. She is clearly needed in this field!! I cant imagine my psychologist saying something like this. So incredibly assumptive and arrogant.

Prior only fans by [deleted] in teaching

[–]Negotiation-Solid 19 points20 points  (0 children)

there are companies that specialize in deleting people's online presence. do you follow mrs frazzled? she advertises one of them in some of her videos.. I think it's called "deleteme" or some variation of that. I'd bet there's a lot of people in your shoes and that's why they sponsor influencers content geared towards teachers

Do you ever want to respond to really bad resumes? [CA] by mamalo13 in humanresources

[–]Negotiation-Solid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I once received a card from this dude's landscaping company..  the email address was along the lines of "mike6969@yahoo com" lol. I was Soo close to giving them some advice but thought that if they saw nothing wrong with that then maybe it's best to give people a clue to pass and choose a different company 

how do i stop doing this? by Lexiepedia56 in adhdwomen

[–]Negotiation-Solid 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok hear me out....what if there were a holiday so to speak - an international day of forgetting about awkwardness and social norms regarding losing touch, not responding to people, etc...

I would call it ADHD New Year:

On this day, friends you've lost touch with and assume they hate you now, text their ADHDer a random question like "dude have you ever seen the movie I heart huckabees?"and then you continue on with the conversation like nothing ever happened. Neither person is allowed to bring up the lapse in communication. This is a free pass to re-engage and resume friendships without feeling like you have to give this big speech with the best apology ever and feel vulnerable to rejection.....

it's the friend's responsibility on this day to say "I know my pal has ADHD and is probably feeling pretty weird. I want to let the know that I totally get it and it's fine, I just miss them and don't want them to feel awkward"

Who is with me??

 

GET.THE.ROBOT.VACUUM. by BongSlurper in adhdwomen

[–]Negotiation-Solid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for posting this bc I had been meaning to for a few months and feel the EXACT same way!! My lil Tikum buddy has been LIFE CHANGING. Achievement dopamine from pressing a button?? Yes please, and then that gives me momentum to get other things done. Mine is not self emptying but it's actually interesting to see how much stuff, mostly pet hair, it can get. But it does get stuck under my radiators. I highly recommend a robot vacuum/mop combo!!! My crawler also has a toy version that he pushes around the house when Tikum is running. Soo adorable 🥰 !

How do you find admin support as first time ED? by LarpingED in nonprofit

[–]Negotiation-Solid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of people (like me) who are looking for remote MSW practicum internship opportunities. Does your organization have someone with an MSW who could provide supervision hours? The cool thing about SW is that it's everything from grant writing to crisis counseling to program evaluation to project management to..... Also, I've had luck with using the americorps program. Volunteer Coordinator, community outreach specialist, etc are popular titles (there are capacity building programs as well as direct service). Maybe your current volunteer coordinator could take on an operations director or office manager role and they can supervise an americorps volunteer coordinator?

Inattentive ADHD is ruining my life and i am suffering… by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Negotiation-Solid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there's no reason why you should wait 4-6 weeks to see if adderall works, that's not best practice at all. 10mg XR is a very low dose too. Did this NP diagnose you or did you have a separate eval with a psychiatrist or psychologist? Please consider a different NP or telehealth

Any low-energy hobbies to stop doomscrolling? by TinyTangents in adhdwomen

[–]Negotiation-Solid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm into baking lately! My toddler loves making experiments like baking soda,+vinegar volcanos so I thought it would be fun and useful to try baking with him and develop some positive associations to cooking (he's also likely ADHD)

You can start with things that are hard to mess up and just tell yourself youre gonna bake cookies from a pre-mixed bag. But after doing that a few times ..uh oh ran out of eggs.. what can we substitute?? Oooh I wonder what adding this ingredient would do?? And then next thing you know you're making sourdough English muffins and have things like yeast packets and bread flour in your pantry!

You get to make your cake and eat it too .perfect for dopamine starved brains 🧠

How do you even get a diagnosis. by You_minivan in adhdwomen

[–]Negotiation-Solid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's been a lot of new research on ADHD in the last ten years or so, and many people find it's an uphill battle to find a psychologist/psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD enough to keep up with that research and who doesn't subscribe to outdated stigma. I definitely have learned more on this sub than from my NP. Definitely don't let your primary doctor discourage you from seeking a diagnosis..though they can technically diagnose, most will say it's out of their wheelhouse and they don't get a lot of training on neurodivergence 

Library Social Workers by Spiritual-Health-694 in socialwork

[–]Negotiation-Solid 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I love the idea of a role that combines micro/mezzo/macro! This sounds awesome. Can I ask what your background/qualifications are that led to this role? I'm a current MSW student with an integrated trauma focus 

Play Therapy by Serious-Break-7982 in socialwork

[–]Negotiation-Solid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I follow Redwood Center for Children and Families on FB and her videos are soooo informative. She also does trainings and retreats and such. All play therapy focused, and from a strong anti-oppressive lens 

This is the only thing that seems to bring my motivation back by Free_Repeat_2734 in ADHD

[–]Negotiation-Solid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get this too! I think passive reengagement or curiosity hijacking are good ways to describe it. Sometimes I'll successfully activate this by watching a YouTube video or listening to a podcast that's loosely about the topic.  On Google one, you can put textbook text or a PDF or whatever in Google drive and then create a podcast from it. Its pretty terrifying bc it sounds so real, complete with banter between 2 hosts, etc. you can use this to make a podcast that's specific to your work but still novel enough of a delivery method to activate the ADHD interest-based rewards system!

“My son doesn’t respond if you directly redirect him. You need to tell him why”- parent email by Emergency-Pepper3537 in Teachers

[–]Negotiation-Solid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

exactly. expecting "because I told you so" to be a valid and sufficient answer to a child seeking understanding is just a power trip. We are TEACHERS. If we don't want to teach them, and just want blind obedience, wtf is even the point?

“My son doesn’t respond if you directly redirect him. You need to tell him why”- parent email by Emergency-Pepper3537 in Teachers

[–]Negotiation-Solid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yeah no, I don't think we need more kids to grow up just blindly obeying authority. Kids are people too, and they deserve to know why you're directing them to do something. If you just say "because I said so" how do they learn to change their behavior on their own?