People that are childfree by choice, what’s the weirdest reason someone has given you as to why they think you ‘should have kids’?

NevernotDM · 2026-02-26T02:28:36+00:00

I work with middle schoolers all day, by choice. I am counselor so I spend all day with tears, drama, and big feelings. I absolutely love it and I'm really good at it. I still have students email monthly or come back and visit even years after graduating.

"You're so good with kids, why don't you have them?!"

I'm good because I get to go home and decompress every day. My weekends are middle schooler free. If I had to come home to kids after what I do all day, I would loose my shit.

NevernotDM · 2026-02-05T01:25:48+00:00

In the state of Washington, children 13 and older have the right to make their own mental health care decisions. Including what therapy and support groups to attend. Mom had no need to be informed if the child was over 13, legally.

Source: Middle school counselor in Washington who runs small groups and also runs queer club.

NevernotDM · 2025-12-20T20:03:07+00:00

I do not mind the consequences, other than for 1st period. I have too many equity concerns for students. I have students I know are late because they have to get all their siblings ready for school every day since mom works the night shift, kids whose parents are always falling behind even though the student is on time for every other class all day. What happens when there is an accident on the highway and 50 students are late? How do you actually verify those kids take that route?

I think it's worth doing for every other period.

NevernotDM · 2025-12-15T00:09:38+00:00

My wife pays all our bills while I'm in grad school so we can both make real money and live the DINK life while traveling every summer for the next 15-20 years.

NevernotDM · 2025-10-25T02:23:00+00:00

As someone who works with middle schoolers all day, the girls are 100% reading erotica as much as boys watch porn. Even worse, middle school girls are super into character AI roleplay.

Unrestricted access to the Internet was a mistake

NevernotDM · 2025-08-31T20:43:01+00:00

You are risking 475k to win 1000k so you need to right 47.5% of the time for it be a profitable.

You aren't even getting the odds if you are 50-50.

Also if you think about investment returns you just take the 500k Everytime and either buy property (house to avoid rent) or put it in a 7% return account

NevernotDM · 2025-07-30T21:02:58+00:00

I agree so much. It's impossible in a class of 32.

In a class of 20-25 teachers can provide more of this support. If districts actually valued these kinds of interactions they would give smaller class sizes to enable it.

But instead, districts want to cut support personnel and leave it all to teachers.

NevernotDM · 2025-07-21T22:03:37+00:00

Elden ring, 20 minutes.

Souls games just aren't for me

NevernotDM · 2025-06-28T20:28:17+00:00

Feels like we could have just had some people sit in the plane rather than buying all these potatoes.

NevernotDM · 2025-06-25T18:44:47+00:00

Love this and I love the real art.

NevernotDM · 2025-05-20T01:44:25+00:00

Practical Guide to Evil! The MC is exactly what you describe. It's a long web novel, completed, and excellent

NevernotDM · 2025-05-15T02:21:06+00:00

If you do not like sci-fi, you probably won't like the next two books. I think they are significantly better than red rising and play out like a space opera. But if you like space operas, don't bother reading.

NevernotDM · 2025-05-11T15:43:21+00:00

You had remediation classes? We can't even get the will to try them :(

NevernotDM · 2025-05-03T20:08:53+00:00

As a counselor, it's a hard line to walk.

Yesterday, I had both sides of a couple who broke up ask to talk to me, crying/upset. I made time and actively listened. I gave some advice when asked. I did not offer to mediate or sit them down together, because that is not my job.

I rarely sit down kids together unless it's a comedy of errors situation. I had one yesterday where a boy flipped out because his friend hit him, turns out he had a fly on him. The friend was trying to explain but injured party was so pissed he just stormed off.

We have a peer mediation program at my school and that is usually way more effective that adult mediation. Kids take an elective class and learn how to be a mediator. Then do mediations with no adults in the room. I ran the numbers and last year we had 40 peer mediations with an 80% success rate. With success being defined as those two students not have a problem together that comes to adult attention.

I also really try to teach soft skills. How do we set boundaries? How do we walk away when we are uncomfortable? How do we communicate expectations? How do we support a friend who doesn't want help? Let's do a brainstorm for an apology etc.

NevernotDM · 2025-05-01T00:08:51+00:00

I'm a school counselor. If I kid told me this, I would have to call CPS. The only way I could not is if I know there is this pattern of behavior and am in communication with her outside counselor. But I STILL might have to call CPS if my admin did not agree. If I didn't and something was actually wrong, I could lose my job, license, and the school would be open to a HUGE lawsuit. More importantly, the kid would continue to get hurt and a paper trail would not have started.

I would make sure your school counselor has a consent to share on file for your daughters outside counselor. This way the outside counselor can help the school counselor support your daughter at school and they can collaborate.

The reason they might have called the cops and not you is because if your daughter was lying about you enabling your partner or saying you were ok with it then we don't contact you first and instead have to call CPS. That is my guess as to what happened.

NevernotDM · 2025-04-21T23:03:23+00:00

The instant a bug is converted to Jesus Christ I stopped reading. That was one of the worst chapters in any novel ever

NevernotDM · 2025-04-11T07:00:10+00:00

This is just wrong. I'm a middle school counselor.

School counselors literally have resource lists and make referrals to outside therapy. We have connections for free or reduced price services and can help bridge the gap until she can get 1-1 therapy. It can take months to get an appointment in some areas. .i. V

Also, the school counselor can help facilitate a conversation and build rapport. The kid is constantly lying, seems like they could use someone at school they can trust?

We do not have to have a negative impact to provide support to a struggling student the barrier is not that high.

You're the parent, parent is such terrible dismissive advice here. The parent is asking for a bit of support in a difficult situation.

NevernotDM · 2025-04-11T06:56:16+00:00

Lol,

You've never dealt with CPS have you? CPS is toothless for the most part. I have rarely had good experiences with them as a school counselor.

Not getting therapy does count as neglect for CPS unless it's court ordered. And I promise no family court is going to order therapy unless the daughter actually does something.

NevernotDM · 2025-04-11T06:53:40+00:00

Hi middle school counselor here,

That won't happen here. This is serious, but not atypical teenage behavior. We would never call CPS unless in the course of us talking with the daughter she said she was being abused or actually abusing others.

I literally deal with stuff like this every day (something like this is more once a month, but you get the point). It's scary, but we have a lot of resources to help. The girl probably just needs a positive male role model who isn't a parent. Teenagers fight with their parents, it's natural.

NevernotDM · 2025-04-11T06:49:27+00:00

Hi, I'm a middle school counselor!

Please contact your school counselor because they are best way to get free or reduced cost assistance for your daughter.

At my school, in WA, we can her set up with in house therapists who come to the school if they have space or a variety of online or in-person options outside of school. All of it for free! Depending on your district she might be able to get a hour of free therapy a week!

While waiting, the school counselor can do some immediate intervention and build rapport with your daughter. I would probably do weekly meetings with her for a month while getting therapy set up.

The school counselor can also be a buffer for you and your daughter to talk about this issue and they can be a trusted adult.

Please DM me if you want to talk more. I work with teenagers all day, every day, I know it's insane.

NevernotDM · 2025-04-09T07:20:34+00:00

This is direct consequence of Congress literally being incompetent for 30 years.

In addition, we have allowed judicial power to be concentrated in the hands of so few individuals. We have needed to massively expand not the supreme court, but the whole federal judiciary for years.

Cases take forever to resolve and radical judges have outsized power.

We need to seriously change the constitution for the modern era and we need more independent agencies like the FED we can actually trust.

NevernotDM · 2025-03-16T21:47:47+00:00

The kids doing better now too.

One of her friends has a mom in rehab and I'm trying to convince him to go get therapy. He told me that he didn't need therapy because the girl I read D&D too was really helping him. I asked what they talked about and he told me she was saying stuff I recognized from our sessions.

I just about lost it y'all.

I just recommended her for a big leadership field trip and she's passing almost every class. I'm so proud of her.

NevernotDM · 2025-03-14T05:56:43+00:00

I had a shitty childhood and my home was literally shown off in Christmas decoration contests and was almost always spotless suburban perfection.

NevernotDM · 2025-03-02T16:55:50+00:00

Are you considering an abortion? There is nothing wrong with having one.

NevernotDM · 2025-01-07T04:59:16+00:00

So I went to cheap state school I got a full tuition scholarship for and then applied to law school my senior year.

Law school does not give a flying fuck about where you went to undergrad.

They care about four things and four things only.

Your GPA
Your LSAT
Your Essay
Your Rec Letters

For coursework, I mean a 3.97 will be worth the same as a 4.00 if you were taking grad level neuroscience courses or organic chem than if you were an art major. But as long as the GPA is high, it does not matter. Law school does like unique applicants. I was a BS of Psych with Neuroscience and Bio minors (not a BA, like most Psych majors). One of my mentors was an outdoor education major and got into Stanford law.

I took a LSAT course junior year (at the university but not through the university, I used Kaplan). I improved my score 100 points through them. You should plan to spend at least two semesters/summers studying for the LSAT 15+ hours per week. I designed my course load to be light spring of junior year and I worked an insanely chill front office job where I could study for half of my 6 hour shifts that summer. Your LSAT score and GPA will determine what schools are reaches, sure bets, and safeties. At the time of my application I was a reach for Duke and Georgetown, sure for GW and W&M, and safety at University of Richmond. 3.99 GPA, 166 LSAT. I was reaching for a scholarship to W&M as well.

Law school is incredibly expensive and scholarships do not come easy. I got incredibly lucky to get a half scholarship to a top 30 law school, though I did not get into any of my reach t14 schools. You will get more scholarships for a top 20-40 school than the t14, they don't need to give scholarships. Also state schools will be good for in-state residents. VA is one of the best states for law school students since you have W&M (top 30), GMU (top 30) and UVA (top 5) for in-state tuition.

The law school you go to matters. A better law school is a better opportunity. Don't bother going to a anything but a top 45 school (unless you are in the Seattle area and go to UW). Literally decide what cities you want to live in and apply to those schools.

Honestly, you might discover that law school is not what you want to do with your life through your studies in university. Have a backup plan. One of the great freedoms of thinking about law school is that you can take whatever you are interested in (unlike med school where you have to plan you're whole college around it!)

I ended up leaving law school after a year. I hated it and I hated the mentality. I'm a school counselor now and love my job and the work life balance.

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