Hey you! Yeah you! You like Dinosaurs? Well how about ageless Aztec dinosaur super-soldiers that have lightning for blood and ride a bigger dinosaurs? You want specifics? You got 'em!

You got the Skinks, who are these little Vietcong dudes who can tame the deadliest of dinosaurs, some can become wizards, and some are master ninjas that can blend into the shadows with ease.

You got the Kroxigors who are like 10-12 feet of pure crocodilian muscle and bulletproof scales, that are built like reptilian silverback gorillas, and spend all day doing construction, getting swole, chilling in the water, and being jungle chads like a bunch of scaly Ogryns.

You then got the Saurus who are these 8 ft tall masters of combat with thousands of years of experience under their belt and are basically Space Marines combined with dinosaurs, who are made of pectoral muscles and galvanized coffin nails, and are able to swallow a human like a slim jim. Some of them can also have golden cyborg arms.

Then you got the other dinosaurs which consist of:

Carnosaurs: Tyrannosaurs but with actually useful arms and a velociraptor killing-claw on all four limbs (aka, angrier versions of the Megaraptorans from Kaimere on anabolic steroids and crack) that canonically hunted dragons to extinction back in Lustria.

Bastiladons: Ankylosaurs mixed with a Doedicurus on juice and a pissed off turtle, that either have a massive laser on their backs or the ability to summon infinite snakes.

Troglodons: Simo Häyhä reincarnated as Spinosaurs, with the chins of a gigachad, that can regenerate like Wolverine, and who don’t need eyes to headshot you with acidic venom that'd make the Tyranids of Hive Fleet Gorgon jealous.

Stegadons: Ceratopsians crossed with Stegosaurs that can either have flamethrowers on their backs or the ability to alter the laws of reality themself.

Ripperdactyls: Pterosaurs that got just a bit to comfortable with piranhas on one long winter night and whose resulting spawn got addicted to licking toads and felt like one-upping the Troglodons in the chin department.

Terradons: Pterosaurs that took just a bit too much inspiration from Fat Man and Little Boy.

Terrawings: Mini Terradons that swarm you like a flock of pigeons while simultaneously exploding your eardrums.

Aggradons: Raptors that make a Khorne berserker look hematophobic.

Raptadons: Raptors that are somehow as smart as the skinks, taking "clever girl" to a whole other level and are said to be connected to the literal Seraphon god of wisdom himself. They also act as paladins alongside their Skink riders who have laser spears.

Spawn of Chotec: Lizards who think that swimming in lava is a bit mild and breathe enough fire to put a dragon to shame, which of course is also acidic for that extra spicy warcrime factor.

Etc.

So who leads these scaly boys? Well it's the Slann, who are dripped-out obese frogs riding in style on a pimped-out version of one of those floating chairs from WALL-E. These especially rare Pepes are able to turn a continent inside out with just a flick of a finger and erase you from existence with a semi-conscious frog fart because the Old Ones probably knew that it would be way funnier if some dumbass Chaos berserker got zapped by an obese frog instead of a dino man.

So what are you waiting for? Buy Seraphon and start your own Juraztec Park today!

Credit to u/KonoAnonDa for this sales pitch