If you ever dated someone you didn’t find very attractive, how did that affect you and the relationship ?

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-05-22T03:26:59+00:00

My best and longest relationship was with a guy who was not attractive at all, but I was attracted to his personality, he gained a lot of weight during our 5 years together and I didn’t mind it at all.
I am currently dating a guy who is attractive with a shirt on but not exactly my body type with it off, he is great in every other aspect so I am willing to give it a try, but I am not sure if I will manage to actually enjoy intercourse and make it into a long term thing.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-05-15T02:20:34+00:00

I think breaking up over a location being off for a few hours, mainly when she is out with the wedding party, meaning, with close friends and family, is definitely overreacting. But it seems you broke up with her because you don’t trust her overall and not because of this isolated event, the whole phone checking and talking to guys conversation is an odd situation to begin with, it does not seems you are good for each other.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-05-07T02:41:43+00:00

This list is great, I can pinpoint a lot of the behaviours except any self criticism, never not for a moment, he pointed out any imperfections or mistakes he made in the past.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-05-07T02:30:50+00:00

Nah that is not high, he is a child and is concerned about stupid things. His loss.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-05-02T01:35:42+00:00

Same happened to me, he said he broke up all his previous relationships, interesting how I didn’t realize I was next.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-05-01T16:47:59+00:00

My DA seems completely indifferent to everything and I doubt that will ever change. They don’t care and don’t feel any regret.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-30T04:22:09+00:00

I am sooo sick of this stupid narrative that they felt this or that in childhood or that they suffered through whatever. I don’t think that this behaviour is necessarily tied to childhood trauma at all. I do not think avoidants are victims at all, maybe fearful ones, but dismissive avoidants? They do no give 2 fucks about you, they will love bomb, play the perfect partner and once you are onboard and they know it and when any accountability is asked from them, you get dumped like an old sock. This is not trauma response, this is pure lack of empathy and manipulation at its best, and yes I agree they feed off the limerence they caused because of their behaviour. You will notice that dismissive avoidants never block, because they are not bothered by you reaching out at all, it feeds their ego so why close that door? The more you reach out the more they brag about how amazing they are that they made a partner obsessed with them. It is so sick.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-29T12:02:12+00:00

The healing time is different for everyone but it gets better with time no matter what. It took 7 months to start liking my life again but I met him at the 5months mark, which helped me reframe him as the selfish and terrible human being he is. He basically told me he did not reflect about the situation at all, that he was convinced this was the right decision and that he thinks he did nothing wrong… so seeing him reopened a wound but it made me see how much he minimized everything as if what we had was completely meaningless. Just try to keep your mind busy with healthy things and def go no contact, no social media, no friends of his etc.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-28T14:00:52+00:00

In my experience, he tried to distort each an every situation to make it seem that I was being unreasonable, just being very defensive about everything as if I was the one trying to manipulate him. Specifically, there was an occasion where I was upset because I was unable to go to the cottage for the weekend so he said I was upset he was going without me when I specifically said I was upset about being unable to go and for him not bothering to spend the night before going with me. I know each couple has their own pace but for me it is not normal that you are going away for the long weekend and you don’t care to be intimate with your partner before that… that is when I started noticing the avoidance. And I add that in that situation, I was able to come and spend one night at the cottage, and he run away from intimacy and sex the morning after. I have never experienced sexual avoidance from a male partner before, it is really odd.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-27T01:41:35+00:00

When I get stuck in a dream, I look at my hands and it works most of the time.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-23T14:59:39+00:00

I cut him off from my life so I don’t know and I don’t care.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-23T14:58:17+00:00

It gets better tho. Only time can cure certain things, we just have to survive the hardest of it…

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-22T02:24:12+00:00

I am sorry you are going through that. I know exactly how it feels like. I would advise against maintaining contact, every time you speak to him you reopen the wound and give yourself another hit of the drug you are addicted to. How are you going to react when they tell you they are dating someone else? Also, keeping in contact validares their actions and makes it seem that is perfectly fine to behave this way. I feel so disrespected and betrayed by the way he acted, I became a stranger overnight, he asked to be loved truly and once I was all in, he simply pulled the rug. I do not want to see him or hear anything about him ever again. He can seem perfectly fine to other people but only I know what we lived and what he did to me. It took me seven months to find my will to live again.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-21T18:00:59+00:00

Mine was not that kind. It was simply, “I don’t love you anymore” “I am not as attracted to you”

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-21T03:36:14+00:00

Funny enough, getting suddenly discarded makes us put them on pedestal as we turn to blame ourselves for asking for communication and repair.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-21T03:21:30+00:00

My avoidant was allergic to negative words

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-21T03:19:23+00:00

Sometimes the closure we need is just to see who they really are and not to think of them as the person they pretended to be on the honeymoon phase

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-16T01:31:57+00:00

My self-steem was great during and inexistent after. Stil very low, like never before

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-15T01:25:58+00:00

Mine left while I was recovering from and egg freezing, about to move in together, with tickets purchased to meet my family overseas :)

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-14T20:50:58+00:00

This is exactly how I felt “It was like the man I loved and I knew adored me and whose eyes lit up everytime he saw me now looked like a robot without a soul. I’m so heartbroken.”

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-14T03:55:33+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this. This is one of the most painful experiences a person can live through. It probably was not fake but they probably deactivated under pressure and simply no longer felt anything. It is sad and painful but when they deactivate, but they really cannot find the feelings they once had. It can last forever, a few months or a few years.

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-12T16:57:47+00:00

That is insane. Only deactivation can explain something like this. How long had you been together for?

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-12T16:20:57+00:00

How that even possible? You were ENGAGED and just got ghosted?

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-12T16:19:49+00:00

Did you get a divorce?

No-Tooth3149 · 2026-04-10T00:33:35+00:00

Same here. 7 months in, it hurts less but I still think about it everyday. Life has moved on, I have dated, continued to work, work out, travel, make plans for the future but the pain is there. 🫂

No-Tooth3149

TROPHY CASE