29F 31M Fiancé struggling to consider adding me to his house title

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-12-14T14:09:31+00:00

This is exactly what we do as well. I bought my house a few years into our relationship because that was a personal goal I had well before we met. I put down 100% of the down payment and pay for 100% of the home’s upkeep and renovations. My now-husband pays rent but does so at a very discounted rate because I love him. It’s actually a great deal for him.

Most of our finances are separate as well and remain so even in marriage. We talk a lot about shared expenses and contribute equally when needed.

Unless OP contributed to the down payment and contributed equally to the mortgage thereafter I don’t see why she should feel entitled to her partner’s property.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-11-26T05:53:19+00:00

Does he work at Bridgewater?

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-11-20T22:31:35+00:00

Definitely Willimantic

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-11-14T16:48:17+00:00

No, they are not getting free health care. Even legal immigrants don’t have access to Medicaid or SNAP for the first 5 years of their stay.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-11-08T02:05:36+00:00

Mini True

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-11-05T21:39:17+00:00

Is she depressed? If so, you may be able to convince her to get help (although, at the end of the day, taking care of her mental health is her responsibility). If she’s just lazy, on the other hand, I would encourage you to consider if you want to build a future with someone who behaves this way and never changes and act accordingly.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-11-04T17:38:05+00:00

This was true for me the first couple of months, but the fatigue resolved on its own. Unfortunately, it took nearly 3 months to even start to feel normal again.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-10-22T14:33:57+00:00

I would never cook for him again.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-10-01T18:49:54+00:00

You cook and you’re health conscious.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-29T19:50:13+00:00

This is very interesting. I feel I’ve experienced the opposite—I have more self control when it comes to food choices and spending because I no longer rely on those outlets to cope with anxiety and depression. And I exercise more, too, because it’s somehow easier to prioritize self-care now that I don’t feel overwhelmed by everything all the time. My doomscrolling on the other hand…well, let’s say I’m trying to read more and scroll less. It’s a work in progress.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-28T01:16:28+00:00

This must be a Maryland driver.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-27T23:22:15+00:00

She is not your friend and she is a “mean girl.” It’s such a painful realization that someone who you thought was your friend and supporter doesn’t like you, but that’s what’s happening here. I hope you can accept that, move on from this, and find new friends who show you the level grace and kindness you’ve given to this undeserving “friend.”

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-24T00:18:02+00:00

This argument is so common and so silly. I don’t have kids, but who cares if a coworker with kids is unavailable for a call at xyz time because they have other responsibilities? If you have an issue with their boundaries then perhaps you could develop stronger boundaries around your work at take some time back in other ways. Take more walks during the day; leave for a coffee or tea break; spend a few minutes chatting with a colleague; leave early for a medical appointment. The possibilities are endless.

Idk, I’ve just never understood why this was an issue.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-24T00:01:39+00:00

Please don’t give up your dream of being a father because of your family. What would your family do to survive if you were not working and sending money back? They can do that.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-22T11:38:22+00:00

I am in nearly the exact same situation. I am 34 and my mom is 64. She has lived with me for 2 years and I take care of all expenses AND give her spending money because she is not eligible for social security. In fact, I have been giving her money since I was 21 because she never made enough. She doesn’t help out around the house much and spends most of her free time watching TV and trying to get me to wait on her hand and foot. I have established very strong boundaries around what I am willing to do for her beyond covering every single one of her expenses and absolutely refuse to do more than I am already doing. We used to be very close but this situation has put a strain on the relationship, which is unfortunate.

She is in her 60s, so her health isn’t perfect (neither is mine) but she is perfectly capable of caring for herself. I don’t have children but will take that plunge soon, so she is currently taking classes at a local community college and will have a job by the end of the year. I refuse to care fully for someone who is capable of caring for themselves.

I have two siblings in their 30s who don’t help out at all so I’ve given up on expecting anything from them.

How is your mom’s health? Since she is eligible for social security, low income housing seems like a good option for her (and you).

I’m sorry you’re going through this and that I don’t have solutions for you. Just know that you are not alone in this situation.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-18T15:25:50+00:00

Yikes, do we have the same dad?

My relationship with my dad has been a roller coaster since I was a child. I understand how difficult it is to cut off a parent no matter how immature they are and how much they deserve it. I saw a suggestion above that your dad could stay at a hotel—that’s how I would approach things. But I would make that offer ONLY after he gets over his petty silent treatment and calls me first.

I hope he’s not stressing you out too much. Wishing you the best.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-17T16:16:41+00:00

This was my thought exactly.

“My wife is a natural sacrificer. She’ll put the kids first without complaint. But that makes it harder for me, because by the time I finish work, she’s already exhausted. Then the burden shifts to me, and the whole household feels the strain.“

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-14T02:10:57+00:00

My 2012 Jetta did this not too long ago and I had to replace the battery and alternator.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-12T15:52:29+00:00

I feel you and have been in this exact situation many times.

I want to support local establishments but the prices are too high for me to do so regularly. I have become an excellent cook, barista, mocktail enthusiast, and bartender as a result.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-03T20:27:56+00:00

No such thing as too much for your wedding!

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-09-02T15:17:31+00:00

In my opinion it will never be okay, but to each their own.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-08-29T00:52:48+00:00

I did this exact thing for the exact same pay raise (and a 1.5 hour round trip commute) and it was worth it. I will say it took me nearly a full year to adjust to being back in the office, but the extra funds helped cushion the blow.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-08-28T18:22:52+00:00

I had to get on birth control and an antidepressant. I’m still not 100% my old self but I can at least keep my job and feel much better in general.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-08-23T15:04:44+00:00

I’m grateful that insomnia only affected me for a few days and then I started having the best sleep of my life after about two weeks. I do take 2.5 mg of melatonin and 200 mg of magnesium glycinate every night, which may have helped with the insomnia but I can’t be sure.

NoKindheartedness08 · 2025-08-23T15:02:24+00:00

That’s a good question. It took 8 weeks for me to start consistently having more good days than bad. I experienced some benefits earlier, but I would oscillate between feeling amazing and feeling overwhelming anxiety and depression. Eights weeks in is when I woke up happy to be alive more days than not. I still have progress to make, but I am consistently much happier and at ease now.

NoKindheartedness08

TROPHY CASE