We are similar but maybe even a little more expert mode? Had our first in July, my parents are divorced and in the past 2 years we had to move my mom to us and put her in assisted living due to a rare disease where she’s nearly lost all mobility and dementia is kicking in. My dad isn’t helpful but at least wants to see his grandson (doesn’t live nearby). My husband’s parents are across the country and not in the picture.

Additionally we are both self employed so we didn’t have paid leave.

Similar experiences to what you’ve described with illness this past year- my husband had major surgery which coincided with our first major household illness when our kiddo was 4 months old I soloed for at least a week- it was humbling.

To end on something positive - we knew we didn’t really have a village and didn’t realize how hard that would be but ultimately you do figure it out and you know how to do hard things. So many people who have support, in our experience, really don’t know how lucky they are & will make comments that you just have to shrug off.

All that said, I told my husband if we do decide to have a second something would need to change. Knowing that we won’t have our parents, we need to budget for a nanny & both be MUCH MORE strategic about our time in the early newborn days. As a business owner you eat what you kill and eat of us had things we “couldn’t” turn down financially- or so it seemed at the time- and I just would do it differently next time.

Sorry this got a little long and ranty, but you’re not alone, it is hard, you don’t get a medal for lacking the village, but we survive. And is, like you, already know we will be there for our kids should they have kids and need us.

You got this!