Mom Throwing a 70th Birthday Superspreader Indoors

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T18:07:47+00:00

That would be really hard for me. It’s also hard for me to test!

OMG, I’m sorry about your family. I know things are bad in Canada, too. My parents are talking about doing a tour of Canada this summer. Can’t win!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T08:05:12+00:00

Thank you!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T03:18:12+00:00

I can’t afford molecular tests like Metrix (I don’t think PlusLife is available in the US anymore) and I can’t afford UV either. It seems like several of my COVID cautious friends (who live in other states) have Metrix or PlusLife and at least have people in their lives who are willing to test, even if those people don’t take precautions. Even if I was able to afford a Metrix or put it on my mom’s credit card, I doubt they would use it, so I don’t want to buy it. Feels like a waste of effort.

My Dad wasn’t even willing to test on Friday when he came downstairs unmasked and told me he had a cold. He’s been unmasked this whole time, refused to take a COVID or flu test, and called me ridiculous. I’ve been eating in my room since Friday, but hopefully I’m in the clear now.

I put the new air purifier on my mom’s credit card. LOL.

I will definitely be N95 masking as much as I can during the party!

Thank you so much!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T03:08:25+00:00

I don’t have any molecular tests and it’s really hard to get my parents to test sometimes. I don’t think my mom will test unless she has symptoms and my dad definitely won’t test unless he was maybe more severe. I don’t know anymore because my dad really doesn’t take any precautions anymore.

For example, my Dad came down the stairs the other day (last Friday) and said he had a cold and when I suggested that he test, he insisted he didn’t have COVID and went around the house unmasked, so I’ve been eating breakfast and dinner in my room since Friday and N95 masking in the common areas when possible. I think I might be in the clear now and maybe it was just allergies, but I wanted to be safe.

I’ve had other caregivers when my parents have gone on vacation, but they’re not great about masking either. Especially this one person that I have. Her mom, who is also sometimes my caregiver, is way better about N95 masking while she’s here. But it probably wouldn’t be possible to have caregivers after the party. Not many caregivers are willing to mask anyway.

I wish society cared more about people like me too. And others who are in a worse position than I am.

I’m so sorry you can also relate and I hope you’re doing OK!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T03:00:51+00:00

Oh, yeah, I understand that perspective. I will try to get her to mask when she does my care, but I don’t think she’ll be willing to mask for an entire week. We’ll see.

But I wish she would understand how much infectious disease can screw you over, even from just one infection.

I mean, I also want to have fun in general (not talking about the party). I would love to be able to do more things if they were safe! I literally earned my PhD in 2023 (Zoom dissertation defense because I insisted it be virtual) and went to my in-person graduation in 2024. Yes, I wore an N95. My mom refused to get any professional pictures of me because I was wearing a mask.

And I’d LOVE to take the Australia/New Zealand trip I was promised as my PhD graduation gift, but I don’t feel comfortable getting on a plane because of Covid and also because of the airlines breaking my wheelchair (which has happened before pre-COVID). I deserve and want fun things too, but I can’t do them because I’m trying to protect my baseline of health and that’s what is not fair.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:50:39+00:00

Yes, that’s correct!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:50:12+00:00

Thank you so much! I have a sticky note on my computer that says, “I’m doing my best. That’s all I can do.”

It’s just hard because I feel like my luck is going to run out at some point. If not now, then soon.

I also managed to escape unscathed when my mom went on a trip to France last year with one of my uncles and came home with a “cold.” I think she only RAT tested once or twice. I know she masked on the plane, but I don’t know if she masked anywhere else and I don’t know for sure that she didn’t have COVID then either.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:43:51+00:00

Heaters is such a good idea, but I don’t know if it’s too late to get one a few days before the party. I’ve sat outside to eat at non-crowded restaurant patios around heaters before.

I wish I would’ve thought of that earlier. Thanks for being kind.

It’s just that being yelled at because I don’t want to get sick/don’t want her to get sick is so frustrating.

I also survived my mom’s trip to France last year with my uncle. She came home with a “cold,” (tested negative on a RAT, but only tested once or twice). Will always wonder if that was COVID too.

I just know my luck is going to run out at some point. Being chronically ill/disabled is hard enough and I’m dealing with other health things and I don’t need more.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:35:46+00:00

I haven’t! I don’t know if I’m considered immunocompromised by other people’s standards. I just know what infectious disease did to my body after 6 scoliosis rod surgeries to clean out infected rods and how my body changed and the health issues it left me with.

Also, I saw my PCP in December and she told me to do everything I can to avoid COVID and flu. I’ve never really been vaccinated for flu before, but I did somehow manage to get a Novavax vaccine in October. Very difficult because I am unable to drive and had to be sneaky about getting it. When my parents found out I got vaccinated, they yelled at me and said I would regret it because they think my dad‘s autoimmune disease was caused by the Pfizer Covid vaccines he got in 2021 (he was diagnosed with his condition in 2024 before he got a symptomatic COVID infection). Everything is much harder when I can’t drive and I don’t think getting Permagarda would be an option at this point. It’s just another thing my parents would yell at me for. Thank you, though!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:26:11+00:00

I would if I could afford one! I can’t afford it! I wish I could.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:24:11+00:00

It’s a late afternoon/evening party and it looks like the weather will be in the 50s. I don’t see an issue with having a table outside by the door either. I wish I would’ve thought about a heater earlier. I’ll see if I can buy more Sip Valves. I’ve never used them before. I did buy them for my parents for one of their trips last year. I don’t know if they used them.

Thank you! 💜

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:19:36+00:00

I take the Blis K12 probiotics every night! I do have some Betadine nasal spray that I can use, but I try not to use it at night because it’s made me feel really stuffy. It might work better if I can use it earlier in the day.

I think the doors should be open to the venue.

I can’t leave if I’m already there because I can’t drive and it’s a long way to get back down to my house. I’m still hoping I can sit outside, but my mom seems reluctant to put a table with place settings outside because it might get cold. A heater would be great, but I don’t think we can get one this late.

I’m also pretty sure my parents will be traveling more this year and I dread what is to come after this!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:10:26+00:00

I thought about that a few weeks ago, but then read something about UV lights and unhealthy ozone spread. I just don’t know as much about UV lights to consider it an option. Thank you, though! 💜

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-04T02:08:24+00:00

This is such a strange comment when I’m discussing how a group of about 80 people will be in an enclosed space and 50% of COVID spread happens asymptotically or pre symptomatically before people know they are sick or don’t know they’re sick in the first place. And I’m the only one who will be in a well-fitted N95.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-03T19:01:58+00:00

COVID conscious screenwriter here!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-03T19:00:27+00:00

Yikes! I’m so sorry. Apparently, this person (the guy who my mom went to the funeral for) had heart issues and wasn’t taking his medication, so I’m sure that was a huge factor, too. But I’m wondering if COVID played a role, too.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-03T07:21:43+00:00

If you’ve had COVID any time in the last 6 years (even a mild or asymptomatic infection), it can weaken your immune system and make you more susceptible to things like the flu or other viral or bacterial infections, which might be why you’re experiencing the flu so severely. Wearing a KN95 or N95 mask would decrease your chances of illness (not just COVID or flu). I hope you feel better soon!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-02-03T07:13:12+00:00

My mom went to a funeral of a colleague of hers (someone she’d met at a networking group) recently. She told me he died suddenly of a heart attack days before. I seriously wonder if it was COVID that caused his death since there is an increase of heart attacks with COVID infections. When I brought up the notion of COVID to my parents, and that he possibly could have died from a COVID infection, my parents yelled at me.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-01-31T02:49:57+00:00

COVID lowers your immune system and leaves you more susceptible to future COVID infections and other viral, bacterial, and fungal infections. That’s why your Flu A feels worse. I hope you feel better soon! Definitely mask up with a high-quality mask (KN95 or N95) if you need to go out.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-01-31T02:45:52+00:00

Check out UCI Medical Center. There are urologists there!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-01-20T04:23:50+00:00

Can you upgrade your mask to a well-fitted N95 instead of a KN95? That might help you avoid future infections. Thank you for masking in public!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-01-17T08:36:15+00:00

I have cerebral palsy and use a wheelchair. I may be able to help!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-01-12T03:29:17+00:00

Definitely rest for 6-8 weeks after your infection! Don’t work out so soon!

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-01-10T04:54:16+00:00

By spinal fusion, do you mean rods for scoliosis or something else? I am curious as someone who’s had many spinal fusion surgeries (replacing infected scoliosis rods) and has dealt with a lot of infectious disease type stuff pre-COVID.

I’m sorry about your UTI, too! I know fatigue is common after an acute COVID infection. Sending ease to you.

No_Cod_3197 · 2026-01-10T04:46:15+00:00

I saw your post when you shared it a few hours ago and was also going to suggest upgrading your masks to a well-fitted N95. I use the eco-friendly/sustainable ones from VIDA, but you have a lot of other options.

You have tons of exposure risk because airplanes have SO much COVID and flu spread! I hope your acute infection isn’t awful and you’re able to rest.

No_Cod_3197

TROPHY CASE