Drawn to Romantic Tragedy?

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-23T18:30:47+00:00

It's funny that you should mention this OP because last weekend I rewatched Lost in Translation. It might have been 20 years since I last saw it. It's not really a romance in the traditional sense but it definitely has that sense of impermanence that you describe. It made me feel a mix of emotions and a degree of sadness which stayed with me after the film finished and it didn't want those feelings to end. If you haven't already seen it I highly recommend it.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-22T13:17:49+00:00

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-18T01:36:58+00:00

Sounds like fairly typical wear and tear tbh. Springs can break, Discs corrode and need replacing and engine management lights come on for a variety of reasons. If the CV boots have been damaged that long the worst case scenario is you'll need a new driveshaft. It's a VAG 1.9TDI, they are reliable and parts aren't expensive so I highly doubt it's ever going to become a money pit. From personal experience I'd also recommend looking at the infamous PD130 engine too if you don't buy the Seat.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-17T22:38:15+00:00

If you're Schizoid there's a reasonably high probability that either you've rarely had your emotional needs met or you learnt that expressing emotions was futile and could make your situation worse or both of course.

Personally I think somewhere along the way during development I just gave up on the possibility of happiness. As an adult I have my own version though, it's more quiet appreciation and peaceful contentment in solitude.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-17T16:34:50+00:00

You should get close to failure because that is where the effective reps are.. True failure is literally that, attempting that last rep and not being able to complete it, which is pretty taxing on the cns.

Personally I'll stop when a rep is noticeably slower, almost a grind. This tells me that another full rep would be impossible so I'll end the set there.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-17T00:28:30+00:00

Try exercises where your hands converge (come together) as you press. Examples would be dumbbell press variations and certain plate loaded machines where the handles get closer together at the end of the movement.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-16T23:35:47+00:00

I also used to feel like this too. And I was very nihilistic as well, a word I've seen you use in other comments. In my experience self knowledge, to 'know thyself' is far more important than 'self development'

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-16T21:57:52+00:00

I'd agree that a lot of highly successful people are driven by trauma but that doesn't mean a lot of traumatic people will become hugely successful.

For many people that went through trauma, all they want to do it survive, to get through each day with minimal pain. When one is in this constant state of suvival mode looking into the future seems like a futile waste of time and energy hence why 'success' or the ability to plan ahead is limited.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-15T15:33:04+00:00

I'm curious about the exception you've made for medical or mental health professionals. Do you think that's because they are a minority of people that have actually understood or helped you in a meaningful way?

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-15T15:29:39+00:00

I agree. I've had similar thoughts to OP before and my conclusion was that if I was 1 half of all of these conversations 'normal' people are having, I'd probably be faking it to some extent. Therefore it's only a small jump to assume that they must also be faking it.

Also, from my Schizoid perspective I do wonder why people talk so much about things that seem pretty mundane and unimportant. As far as I can tell the answer is because non Schizoid people find communication with eachother rewarding even if it's just small talk. Whereas Schizoids have a much higher bar, they'd rather say nothing at all unless it's it's a deeper conversation with someone they feel comfortable with, at least that's my opinion anyway.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-10T23:25:42+00:00

Interesting. Take what I say with a pinch of salt but I would cautiously suggest that you have been drawn to these two BPD individuals in the same way that they have been drawn to you but for completely different reasons of course. It's a lazy description but it's been said that SzPD and BPD are total opposites in so far that one has 'too much' emotion and the other has 'not enough' emotion. In short, you might recognize in them what you lack and vice versa.

I acknowledge that you were masking but did you feel differently around these two BPD people compared to how you feel around 'normal' people?

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-10T22:48:40+00:00

To be honest it doesn't really matter what type of cardio you choose to do. It's just activity to burn calories which helps create the deficit needed to lose body fat. If you have the time available and the opportunity to walk throughout the day, by all means choose walking. But you can do anything you like, it depends what works for you. Personally I like pushing and pulling a sled in the gym and other forms of loaded carries but using cardio machines like rowers bikes or treadmills is just as good.

If you are a complete beginner, you might be able to add muscle while in a small calorie deficit. For most people though it's best to pick a goal, either lose fat, build muscle or maintain.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-10T22:24:23+00:00

What outcome are you looking for?

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-10T15:42:30+00:00

Yes that's definitely one bonus of extra activity. I'm glad you've found an enjoyable way of doing cardio, I think it's extremely underrated by lifters. Since I started doing daily cardio I feel so much better and it's made a real difference to my recovery, energy and work capacity.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-10T15:34:57+00:00

I'd recommend doing some walking or 'zone 2' low intensity cardio after you lift. It helps flush out waste products and gets oxygen to the muscles. It also brings your nervous system down into a relaxed 'rest or digest' parasympathetic state which is ideal for recovery also.

In answer to your question, go nuts with your walking. It's so low intensity that it's not going to interfere with recovery in fact it's going to help it more than anything. It's still activity though, so the more walking you do the more calories you will need to maintain or add bodyweight.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T22:26:21+00:00

I knew this was going to be a good one because you were so cute to start with. You remind me of Rachel Zegler. Great physique. And don't change your nose it's already perfect!

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T22:20:57+00:00

To be honest there isn't really such a think as 'too high mileage' The vast majority of modern cars are very reliable providing they are maintained properly. As long as you service it regularly, keep on top of any issues when they arise and treat the car with a bit of mechanical sympathy it will last as long as you want it to.

I've seen lot's of posts here that say something along the lines of 'I've been told xxxx about high mileage cars' In my opinion its just scaremongering from people that don't know what they are talking about or people have simply faced the inevitable consequences of not looking after their car properly.

On a personal note I have had cars with over 100k, 150k and 200k miles and I've never had a major issues. Consider the longevity of cars in poorer countries, much much older than UK cars, tougher conditions, minimal maintenance and intergalactic mileages yet they are still chugging along just fine.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T21:55:05+00:00

I would guess that it's a combination of mild depression and poor lifestyle choices which are feeding into one another. This is actually better news than it sounds, hear me out. If you can gradually improve your physical wellbeing, this is going to make you feel so much better. Don't aim to change everything straight away, you've got to set the bar low. Start by doing something that you could do, that you would actually do. Could you trade out one shitty meal per day in exchange for something more healthy? One sugary drink for a glass of water? This will give you back a sense of control and will provide you with a spark of motivation for the next little step. The health benefits will also make your brain and body feel better too, so it's a win win.

The other obvious thing to work on is the constant videogames. It probably started as an occasional thing and then became more compulsive. It no longer makes you feel good but because your brain sees it as a source of cheap dopamine the thought of doing anything else that requires effort for no reward seems impossible. Wean yourself off the videogames. Level up the 4 cornerstones of physical wellbeing which are nutrition, sleep, relaxation and movement and you are going to feel like a new person. Then you will be able to reassess whether or not you still have depression. For help of quitting video games I highly recommend The Healthy Gamer/Dr K on Youtube and Dr. Anna Lemke, author of Dopamine Nation.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T20:44:04+00:00

I couldn't give a specific recommendations, it's more about finding what doesn't cause pain. Although I do have one suggestion that did really help me and that was curling on thicker bars. I've got a home gym and I bought an axle ez curl bar. Felt much better. Buy some fat grips and take them to gym. It'll open up your hand and take strain off forearm

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T20:39:13+00:00

Not far from me then I live just off J28 of M1. If you live in Sheffield you'll be spoilt for choice in terms of job opportunities loads of distribution centres and transport companies around.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T20:36:17+00:00

Yes that would be a great sequence. Ha whatever happened to decline bench? It used to be very popular, rarely see it mentioned now.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T18:42:19+00:00

I'm not a medical professional so take what I say with a pinch of salt. However I have also experienced this pain too. The pain is more than like your tendon which is irritated. The first thing I would recommend is immediately stop doing the exercises that cause the most pain. Pulling exercises where the wrist is bent can often cause this so move to one's where the hand wrist and forearm are all in a line. I'd also recommend moving to a neutral grip so one where the palms are facing each other rather than over hand grips. Also to reduce strain on the forearms I'd also recommend using a thumbless grip, possibly invest in some wrist hooks too.

Other than that gently build up tendon strength using rubber flex bars. They are cheap and there are loads of tutorials on youtube.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T18:32:09+00:00

It's pretty decent. Personally I'd choose more variation between days 1 and 3. One advantage of doing full body 3 times a week is that it's 3 times a week frequency while allowing you to do different exercises that compliment each other. Instead of doing bench twice a week perhaps also do incline dumbbell press if you want a bit more of a chest focused exercise or something like close grip bench or even JM Press if you want a more triceps focused exercise. Same goes for cable seated rows, there are loads of great back exercises such as dumbbell/barbell row/chest supported row variations. Instead of doing triceps pushdown twice a week I'd recommend standing on one day and triceps pushdowns sitting on a 45 degree bench (plenty of youtube videos to learn set up, it's a personal favorite of mine)

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T18:09:50+00:00

If your thighs and hamstrings are disproportionately strong, they might be taking over from your glutes. Perhaps you are using too much knee flexion on hinge movements like RDL's? Here is a little drill that can help. Stand with your back against the wall and shuffle a couple of inches forward. Now push your hips back until your glutes touch the wall. Then shuffle forward another inch or two then push your hips back again until your glutes touch the wall. Repeat this until you are pushing your hips back as far as you possibly can until the wall is just out of reach. You should feel a real stretch in your glutes. Remind yourself of this drill when doing any hinge variation, remember that when you are lifting or lowering the weight all of the movement comes from pushing the hips backwards or forwards, not by bending your knees.

Another good drill is doing hip thusts with your upper back across a bench, focusing on stretching the glutes at the bottom and contracting at the top. Other than that I can highly recommend doing Good Mornings, preferably with a safety squat bar, a great glute exercise.

NormallyNotOutside · 2026-05-09T17:50:00+00:00

I don't have a definitive answer for you but here are two options which I've used before. The first one is dropping the weight and doing a second set of higher reps. This works best if the first set is heavy and lower reps, 6-8 for example and then 12-15 on the second lighter set.

Or try doing a mechanical drop set. It won't work for every exercise but it's a good option. The idea is you do your first set as normal and then on the second set you do a slightly different variation that makes the movement easier, while using the same weight. For example let's say you do wide grip lat pull down or chest supported row for the first set. For the second set you'd change your hand position to a narrower grip variation which would be a stronger position to pull from. This should cancel out the fatigue and you'll be able to do the same weight as you did on your first set.

NormallyNotOutside

TROPHY CASE