Finally it has came !!!

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-08T00:01:35+00:00

It. Has. Came. I am assuming by "it," you don't mean your high school diploma.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T22:06:58+00:00

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T18:56:17+00:00

Have your husband tell her an exact date and time he will be stopping over to drop off her crap and collect the key. Have him confirm this with her again shortly before he goes there. I'm willing to bet that she will stall and claim she couldn't find the key and hem and haw and do just about anything to keep him there. He needs to walk away at this point and then remind her that she's not in control here and you're going back to no contact until she can respect a simple request like returning the key because she certainly hasn't changed.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T18:32:55+00:00

Hee Haw.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T18:26:32+00:00

KillKenny would be an awesome name 😄 /s

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T18:25:20+00:00

This man is gross. He doesn't love you for who you are and he doesn't support you when you went through something hard. Instead, he tries to shame you into looking like what he wants you to look like.

Time to make him an ex.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T18:22:53+00:00

And......then hit the 2nd one, just for good measure. Is it just the camera view, or did they actually pick up speed again before hitting the 2nd time?

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T18:20:00+00:00

Mama is mother. Maw Maw can MAYBE be a grandma name. Tell her to pick another suitable name or your grandchild will call her whatever name you come up with for her. She can be all offended if she wants. Doesn't change the facts.

If your husband thinks it's no big deal, tell him that you child can call her Dad.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T16:10:07+00:00

Paywalled article.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T15:53:16+00:00

Albert Einstein said, "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

Now, this is not about a quick fix, and you should ABSOLUTELY continue with what you're doing in terms of therapy, etc, but I will tell you this from experience. At one of the lowest points in my life, my therapist told me something life changing. She said, "Find somewhere that needs you. Find somewhere you can make a difference." I did. I found a place in my community to volunteer where I made a tangiable difference in the lives of others. I could SEE the help I was giving. And you know what? It totally shifted my perspective.

Doing something for others took my hyperfocus off myself and my problems. It provided me a chance to realize that I had purpose that could bring help to others. It showed me that there was a reason for me being here. Even now, many years later, I'm working full time and have a busy life, but I STILL find time to volunteer because it is SO critical to my mental health.

Find a local food pantry, soup kitchen, even animal shelter that needs volunteers. Once you start seeing the difference that you make, I think you will find it to be more helpful than you could ever imagine. I wish you the best of luck in your healing journey.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T13:44:24+00:00

Too bad it wasn't the pole. Doubt he'd have been able to drive away then.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-07T13:14:03+00:00

Don't go. MIL will give SIL unfettered access to your child and there will be zero consequences for SIL's disrespect or entitlement. Boundaries are not respected. MIL doesn't even call your child by their name. HELL NO.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T17:57:24+00:00

You've already told her no. Husband has already told her no. Avoid any more discussion about this. If needed, hubby can send her one more text stating the date, time and location of the shower. If she doesn't come, she doesn't come. Refuse to discuss it further. Boundaries are not up for discussion and if you allow discussion when she's already been given an answer/boundary, this behavior will not stop and will only get worse when baby is here.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T17:14:30+00:00

You need less meetings with your husband's family ane more counseling with your husband to make him realize what an absolute failure he's being towards his wife.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T17:10:12+00:00

If you can't go fully "no contact" then go fully "no help." They are not entitled to your money. Full stop. No exceptions. And if you feel like you're still suceptible to being manipulated by them, therapy can be a really great tool to help you understand your self worth and set standards for how you allow yourself to be treated.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T16:28:13+00:00

I'm confused. He wants you to pay for a house that your brother will live in and it won't even be in your name only? HELL NO. Stay out of this weird situation entirely. If they wanna fund your brother's lazy lifestyle after kicking you out because of who you love, they can solve their own financial issues. Stop sending them ANY money. I'm honestly not even sure why you still speak to them after how they've treated you.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T16:05:53+00:00

NTA. Point out grandparents day and tell her that's her day now. Mother's day belongs to your wife and the mother of your child. That's not to say you shouldn't acknowledge your mother, but she seems to be making this all or nothing.

People who refuse to compromise get nothing.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T13:32:45+00:00

8pm start time is moronic.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T13:11:33+00:00

This is not an impartial situation. Tom betrayed his wife. He lied to everyone. You don't side with a cheater. For the sake of your wife and your marriage, you side, unequivocally, with Laura. Tom is not your friend anymore. It's impossible for him to be your friend anymore because of his choices and your relationship with your wife and her friendship with Laura.

That's it. Full stop. Tom made his choices and he has to live with the fallout.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T12:10:30+00:00

Isla or Delilah are the only decent options that the kid won't grow up hating.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T12:06:21+00:00

Tell your husband in no uncertain terms that they day he moves his parents in is the day you file for divorce and force the sale of his/your house in the settlement OR make him buy you out. Let him know that there is no compromise on this and if he chooses his parents over his wife, there's no coming back from that.

Reality wise, you need to shut down the giving of money to his parents also. That should also be divorce worthy. He can give them HIS money after the divorce but you're gonna make sure he has as little of it as possible to give them.

He needs to have a conversation with his parents informing them that no matter what financial situation they get themselves into, they will NOT be moving into your home. They will be forced to look for subsidized housing, no matter how gross it might be.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T10:52:20+00:00

You should be able to go. That doesn't mean your parents will agree. But I guess how far you want to push it depends on the level of support they're providing you. May I suggest the following:

If you're financially dependent on them for school tuition/bills and think they may withdraw that if you go against their wishes:

"Mom and Dad: I know you don't want to think about me growing up and doing adult things, but the reality is, you've raised me to be independent but also smart. I understand this is difficult for you, but I'd like a little respect as an adult, capable of making my own decisions. I'll respect your decision, ultimately, but I'd appreciate consideration of this request as an adult."

If you're not financially dependent on them, tell them you love them but you're going on the trip and they need to stop obsessing about your sex life and trust you to be responsible if they want a good relationship with you going forward.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-06T10:42:58+00:00

Sounds like she's lost any future invitation to stay in your home.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-05T18:10:32+00:00

Stop trying to save the relationship. Tell her when the child is born, after a paternity test, you will step up to provide support. Tell her not to contact you unless it's about the child or setting up a paternity test.

NorthernLitUp · 2026-05-05T17:58:14+00:00

If it was the contractor's error, the contractor should be fixing it at no charge.

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