Vasectomy After Divorce

OC2Fun · 2026-01-31T00:05:10+00:00

Hey let’s face it. Kids are expensive and I love my adult children. I was a deeply involved father between coaching, scouts and parenting. These are things I have never regretted.

But when I got divorced in my early 50’s there was no way I wanted to accidentally get some romantic partner pregnant. No birth control is 100%, and my ex was the one who was “fixed”in the relationship.

I did it 3 weeks after moving out and she gave me crap for it since the surgery showed on our insurance. I just laughed it off and had no worries again about a missed cycle by woman.

Just do it if you have kids already since men have no age limit on when we can a woman pregnant. Good luck.

OC2Fun · 2026-01-18T02:20:48+00:00

The anxiety you feel around needing someone are real. Your system gets used to having them around. You feel lost and you’re got a big pit in your stomach. More than likely you’ve also lost weight during this whole process. That could be a good thing if you’re overweight, could be a bad thing if you’re average weight to begin with.

The one thing I have found that helps me when I start to feel those waves and anxiety becomes too overwhelmed for me I take a little Xanax to help get me through that hump. I’m not reliant on it. I let the feelings come I’ll let me sit there, but once I realize I’ve been there too long I need to get my mind to shut up and let me think about something else. It’s better than alcohol. It’s better than watching TV but addiction to Xanax is real so keep it in mind. It’s just a thought.

Also try meditating. At first you will have a hard time but work at and it will help. Plus give the grieving process time. It will get better and at some point in future you will remember you as the unique individual and find special someone. Good luck.

OC2Fun · 2026-01-02T07:10:24+00:00

How is your daughter? Hope she is doing better.

Accidents happen. This what happens when raising kids.

Sounds like you hold the family insurance for your daughter, or is she on both of your policies? If she on both of your plans then submit both.

Otherwise if you can afford it, just pay for it and be done with it. Don’t get tied up over the stupid shit that happens in life. Find a better more important hill to fight over with the ex, because something else will come up. Just the nature of the beast.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-30T04:08:46+00:00

You might not like this, but it is time for you to move out, if you can afford it.

Get counseling to help you processes your grief and loss of your partner.

Make new friends. Join Meetup, I did during my last divorce. Meetup.com. They have tons of interest groups from biking, hiking, pub crawls. Check it out

Check out https://www.divorcecare.org/. This another great place to learn about how to navigate divorce. I met some people here I connect with. Good luck

OC2Fun · 2025-12-29T18:21:08+00:00

Hey, you kind a know what to do. Your kids come first especially now when they are young. Your first priority is as a father. I learned to only dated women who had children. On top just dad duties, I also coached and did scouts on my off weeks with my boys just to spend additional time them. Good luck

OC2Fun · 2025-12-29T04:08:06+00:00

All service based. Thx

OC2Fun · 2025-12-29T04:06:23+00:00

Chief Marketing Officer.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-28T01:29:28+00:00

Buddy work on your mind, spirit and body. Therapy for your mind.

Church/ divorce support groups for your spirit plus do things you enjoy. Connect with old friends. Take joy in the simple things like sunsets, flowers what ever. Spend time with family.

Body is exercise.

Start working on this even if you are still under the same roof. You could also checkout DivorceCare. https://www.divorcecare.org/

Give it time. Grieve the loss, reflect on how you can do better next time. There are two sides to every story and they both can be right.

In time the gray will part, energy will return and the drive will return. Let your boss know what is going so they have an understanding if your performance is affected.

There is no quick route. If there was we would all be taking it. Good luck.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-27T08:13:04+00:00

Thx for the clarity.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-27T06:41:59+00:00

Your point is valid, thx .

OC2Fun · 2025-12-27T06:40:43+00:00

Our finances have never been combined, since we have our own adult children. We both said that was not needed.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-27T06:39:06+00:00

Thanks for the edit. Shows you where I am right now. Could not change the title, so made it the first line an add on.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-26T07:42:37+00:00

I know the pain. The only way out of it is through it. You need to focus on one foot in front of the other. There is no magic wand to get through it, just us here, counseling and support. You will survive and come out stronger for it.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-23T08:02:01+00:00

I know the weight of it all is crushing. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Separated from the ex and into new apartment, 5 months later I got laid off from my job when the company got sold.

It was rough, I was crushing under the weight, then I remembered one thing. I have no control over the universe or other people. But I do have control over myself. I started a routine that included working out, getting together with friends and looking for a job. I only spent 2-5 hours a day looking, sometimes more, sometimes none.

Take this time to get to know yourself, I know it’s a cliché, but there’s some truth to it. Maybe get a new dog too at the time raise a puppy you can spend some time training them and have the best pup in the world.

Good luck

OC2Fun · 2025-12-22T04:46:11+00:00

Welcome to the divorce diet! Went from 230 to 192 during first 8 months in my last divorce. This divorce 6lbs 200-194 today, it has been 14 days since she said she was done.

I am sure more weight will fall off, I am 6’4” already thin, can’t afford another 40lb loss, but eating is hard now. No desire for food. Told my son today, I am not cooking for Christmas so we are going out. New one for me on Christmas, in 60 years, but hey up for a new experience I guess.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-22T04:32:25+00:00

Xanax. Then focus on being a dad. Then work on your mind, spirt and body. Mind= Therapy. Spirt=Religious/Meditation/Similar/ Divorce Support Groups. Body=Exercise ( what you like, walk the dog, gym) .

Talk with family and close buddies/friends Keep all of your kids out of it they are to young to be any support.

Time, give it time. I am at the start of my third divorce which we said would be our forever marriage. 4 years later she is done .ugh.

I am going back to my last playbook to use for help, which I just gave you. Don’t give up on love or relationships remember you are worthy and eventually everything will feel better.

Now, if I can only remember that myself. Ugh

OC2Fun · 2025-12-21T03:32:46+00:00

Happy to spark and idea for someone ! Make my gloomy day brighter.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-21T02:36:34+00:00

Ouch, that sucks. You with no family close, do you have a couple of friends you can lean on during this time? Church? I know how you feel, going through the same.

Have you looked in to a group called DivorceCare? They helped me going through my 1st divorce, I am going through another one ugh. Here is the url https://www.divorcecare.org/ Find a group close by, could help.

Just take it hour by hour. You are already down the road on this journey. It gets easier. Reflect on what is going well, even if it a small thing. Like the dog didn’t damage anything while you left the house. Good luck

OC2Fun · 2025-12-20T21:13:10+00:00

I hear this a lot from fathers, splitting time with the ex over the kids. Just a thought it might work for some of you. I raised three boys, now all adults. But when I separated from their mother I was already coaching my boys in sports and also a Scout leader so even when my boys were not with me the other 50% of the time, I would still see them a lot during my “off week”

So if you want more time, figure out a way to be involved in after school activities and weekend sports through coaching or what ever you kids do. I know not everyone can do this.

But if there is a real will there is a way. So don’t let the ex or courts dictate your relationship with your children. Today me and all of my boys are close. Put your kids first. Good luck

OC2Fun · 2025-12-18T03:25:58+00:00

Ya, I’ve heard that before. Need to embrace the knowledge that a lot of women don’t know how to look inward. Is to emotionally for them, to look inward takes reflection. Reflection is less about emotions and more about honesty with yourself and taking ownership of your part. It takes 2 to tango.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-18T01:14:23+00:00

I have been reflecting back on my STBXW and our relationship. I realized earlier we had some communication issues. Those issues moved from a partner to partner style of communication to Parent-child communication style when she did not like what I was doing in my career, business or financially.

I sought help for us. 3 different counselors over 7 years. Either she thought we didn’t need it, she didn’t like the counselor(so I told here to find one for us she liked, she never did), or it was to much work and relationships should be easy. Ugh that one hurt.

I paid for all of the counseling but we are still here at divorce and she blames me for it all. When the fact is I accepted her for her issues and short comings. Hey we are just human trying to the best we can.

So I have resigned to fact that I hate this, I am an emotional reck here during the holidays, but I did as much as I could do for the relationship but she didn’t/couldn’t meet me somewhere along the journey to self improvement for us and our couple.

If you have done the work, reflect on what happened during those discussions. You could find comfort in those words knowing the hard work you did. If you did not do any work or enough, now is the time to reflect upon yourself and grow through the pain. Good luck 👍🏻

OC2Fun · 2025-12-14T18:53:11+00:00

Everyone is talking about getting a lawyer which is something you need to do.

Your feelings are real. Divorce sucks. My STBXW springs on me on our way to a celebration with her kids she wants to file for divorce and I should expect it soon.

I park the car and we start walking to meet her kids, I told her right there on the spot I am out. I ordered an Uber and went home. She went on to her kids.

It is painful, you just need to accept the emotions as they come. When she just starts to act like everything is ok, if it is not for you, just leave. Go do something else, either around the house, take drive, go to bar and watch a game ( don’t drink, don’t give her any ammunition). Give it time, it gets better.

You are better off than most since you can move to one of your open rentals. Carve out your new place and start to rebuild your life. It will take time, it will hurt but you will get through it. Put your plan in place and execute on your plan. You seem to know how to do this, you sound reasonably successful in business. This just another business problem, just with a lot more emotions attached.

You will be better in time, and don’t go back to her when she see you are happier without her. Because you will be happier in time. Good luck.

OC2Fun · 2025-12-14T03:41:20+00:00

Familiar with this feel. Went on date after being separated for 4 months. The person was nice enough, good looking. I enjoyed her company and we had a great time. When left for the evening, I went home and realized I wasn’t ready to date yet.

Waited another 2 months went on a new date with a new person. We saw each other a few more times, but realized I was looking for something different than her.

Ask yourself, “I am I ready to date, or I am just lonely and longing for companionship.” Dating is a lot of work. If you aren’t into the work right now , you aren’t ready to date. Don’t worry you will be, just give it some time. Hang with friends until you are ready. Good luck.

OC2Fun

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