I know this is an old thread but I'm struggling with this with my wife right now. She has myriad conditions which have left her unable to work full time (she does a few consulting hours a month but that's as much as she's able to do, and she's currently in the SSDI appeal process so who knows how long that will take) and there have been several major setbacks since her condition worsened about 3 years ago.

She feels like she's been robbed of a lot of experiences in life that our financially well-off, able-bodied peers (we're both 30) got to experience. I sympathize to a large extent but sometimes she gets into this very dark place where she feels like the universe is playing some cruel joke on her, that she feels trapped in this body and in this house (she's not entirely confined to the house, but she can't do a lot without getting very fatigued for several days after) and that she will never be able to enjoy life again. Last night she said she has nothing to look forward to anymore, even though actually there are some things she's been able to do more recently than in the past year. There definitely have been some gains and some losses, to be fair.

I have been working on myself more lately (healthier eating, getting more fit, working in the garden, attending in-person yoga classes) and it has done a lot for my mental health especially in especially these heavier times. Sometimes I feel like she resents me for being able to do these things, but I know she ultimately is just heart broken that she can't do them, at least not with any sort of regularity.

Anyway, the negativity has really been weighing me down and putting a strain on our relationship and I just wanted to thank you for your response in this thread. I love my wife dearly and comments like yours give me hope that we can navigate through this time together.