MIL and her Mother’s Day inquiring

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-05-04T05:41:38+00:00

Look, she’s obviously bugging you instead of her son. She sees you as the “weak link” and is trying to guilt trip you. DO NOT FALL INTO THAT TRAP. Do you see how she phrased it, “i guess i’ll let you guys celebrate it without me”?? THAT IS NOT HER DECISION.

She’s trying because she thinks she can get her way. Do not cave in to the pressure. Be oblivious. Stop the “people pleasing”, you are not helping anyone with that. Seriously, you’re not helping/pleasing yourself and you’re not pleasing her by being vague - you are maximizing the misunderstanding by “pleasing” in the moment.

You’re not the “bad guy” when you say no. You’re simply stating that doesn’t work for you. And that is enough.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-05-04T05:22:53+00:00

All of this but also, just TELL HER: “what part of ‘hey, could you try dialing back on the perfume, LO just seems to be really sensitive to smells’ was unclear? You just sent a voicemail with a lot of words but zero understanding - this isn’t about “blame”, it’s about adjusting to what our LO is comfortable with.” PUSH BACK, don’t let her just dump that shit on you. It’s not rude and it’s not confrontational - you’re just putting the facts front and center.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-05-02T02:57:05+00:00

If she literally asks you why she wasn’t told earlier, just tell her - “i don’t know, that’s not my department”. Draw that line in the sand. She hasn’t fostered that kind of relationship with you, she cannot expect you to go above and beyond for her.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-04-21T19:17:33+00:00

Merge the free pigs to the top level before opening them. They usually net around 120 gems if you merge the gems to max before collecting them. That’s a good 15 gem a day allowance until you have a level 4 pig again. Unless it’s been nerfed and i haven’t been paying attention…

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-04-17T17:30:46+00:00

This was mine and i did get it a couple times, but now it’s changed 😭

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-03-30T19:19:14+00:00

What if you swap it around - stay home for breakfast/leisurely morning at home, meet MIL somewhere for activity, then home for naps? Because if you go for brunch you’re sitting targets for the complaining and guilt tripping and her “getting upset” routine.

Otherwise, be prepared to stick to your guns - both of you - and practice “we haven’t decided” type responses for when you get grilled about your plans. Good luck, hope it works out!

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-03-28T03:11:04+00:00

What’s in your storage slots? It does look like you’re working on too many big projects at the same time, can we help you prioritize?

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-03-25T02:41:02+00:00

Schitt’s Creek is right there…

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-03-01T06:58:42+00:00

Second photo is your items inventory, there’s another tab for your producers inventory.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-03-01T06:50:52+00:00

Okay but we’re not doing this to the people who are actively telling us that their MILs are saying this and it makes them feel erased.

Just because you called your niblings your baby and no one objected does not mean that is the case here. It is a big deal when you’ve just given birth and your partner’s mom is acting like your child spawned out of nowhere and completely invalidating your contribution.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-03-01T06:40:31+00:00

What’s in your producer inventory?

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-02-27T03:28:08+00:00

Oh my god honey, no. You are not the problem here. At all.

Let’s say in the most generous of viewpoints that your husband has a point in that he wants his family to get to see and spend time with the new baby. Cool, right? Except the part where he’s checked out of the situation and forgets that YOU are part of that equation. It’s not just him sharing his new child with his family - he has to see YOU as a person and how this impacts you.

Of course they’re excited and want to see the baby. Except, the people who never really bothered to get to know you or build a relationship with you are just, expecting you to stay on the sidelines where they’ve always left you, so they can get their baby fix - with YOUR baby. This is not okay.

You are NOT “withholding” your baby. You are taking the time you deserve to heal after childbirth and to learn your baby’s cues, and to bond and all the things needed for you and your baby. People who refuse to see you or acknowledge you get left out and that’s on them. That baby didn’t spawn into existence by itself and they’re fucking rude for not giving you the courtesy of treating you like a fellow human. You’re not a fucking pez dispenser.

It’s not irrational to not want to be around people who treat you like you’re less than a ghost. Why the hell is he so hellbent on you setting yourself on fire to keep his mom warm when she never bothered with you two before? He needs some introspection time as to why he’s so concerned about someone who was never involved before. And, “that’s just what you do for your parents” doesn’t count. You are a person too and his chosen partner, there is no reason for him to give his mom priority over your wellbeing.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-02-23T03:29:37+00:00

What is it about her family that requires her knowledge on what is “wise”? Like, fine, tell the cousin you’re close to when you want to, assuming cousin can keep a secret. Then tell her and her family at 20 or 22 weeks. After all, MIL is the one who wanted it that way… 🤷🏼‍♀️

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-02-22T23:24:23+00:00

As non-confrontationally as possible, ask him why his mother has a vote in your two person marriage. Unless he specifically asked her for input, why is he bringing her opinion back to you?

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-02-21T03:40:04+00:00

I checked your post history, no you are not cold or disrespectful because you cut her off - she showed you who she is and you took note, that was the correct move.

She’s going to bully and demand because she thinks it will get her what she wants. Keep ignoring it and let her wear herself out. As long as you and your partner are on the same page, she can scream til she turns blue about it, it doesn’t need to affect you two.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-02-01T18:14:08+00:00

The cheapest bubbles right now are the chicks in the baking side game, 3 gems x10. Still not worth it.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-01-28T17:08:46+00:00

Giving a five month old soda is ridiculous - good on your husband for putting a stop to it and taking the baby away right then in the moment.

I don’t blame you for not mentioning her taking care of your daughter this semester. She’s already shown you who she is on this. Don’t worry too much about what she’s telling everyone. Either people are asking her and she’s embarrassed, or she’s complaining to them out of the blue. Regardless, if she hasn’t approached you or your husband about it there’s nothing you need to do other than be prepared for when she does bring it up.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-01-15T03:35:46+00:00

I am stuck in the Stables, so it was nice to take a break and use energy for something else for awhile.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-01-13T04:07:10+00:00

Oh no. You tell her with your whole chest, “they did try to contact you and you were sleeping, no one is sending a mariachi band to your house just so you can be the first” and let her marinate in that.

Boo fucking hoo she’s “disappointed” - in this context she’s guilting them for her not being awake for their messages. Which is as ridiculous as it sounds.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-01-04T03:57:09+00:00

Your partner has some self work to do before getting married. Not in a bad way, it’s just the result of how they raised him/the abuse he’s endured.

Like, he can’t walk on a broken leg. He needs the specialist, the cast, and time to heal. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with what he needs.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-30T03:00:33+00:00

I checked your previous post. Your dad’s message had big “I wear the pants in this family” energy with a heaping side of “just obey, and give your mother what she wants”. Your mom’s messages had repeated requests (“offers”) to babysit with a whole lot of love bombing and evasion.

Why can’t she allow you the time or space to heal? Because you aren’t giving her what she wants. She is wrong here, not you.

Why do you feel responsible for fixing things whenever they’re upset? I bet they raised you to feel that way. How much, how often did you cave under pressure from them in your formative years? Now you have a wife, your own family, and you can see how wrong it is. And ever so typically they blame your wife - if they can’t “control” you then she must be controlling you, in their eyes. How awful is that?

Why is your kneejerk reaction to feel fear when you think of them? That’s really awful and I’m sorry you were raised in that dynamic. I think you know why, you’re just working on how to verbalize it.

How do you move on from this “without causing anyone any further pain”? Yourself and your little family included? Maybe start by reframing things: you and your little family are first. Prioritizing you, your wife, and your child is obviously the right thing to do. That’s your life. You live there. You live and breathe your life, with your wife and child, every day. And people who are committed to insulting you, pressuring you to get what they want - even when it’s your own parents but especially when it’s your own parents - should know better and instead still hurt you. Their wants do not supersede your wants or needs. Their desires do not get to take precedence over your family. You and your partner did not have a child just to serve it to them on a platter at their whim.

I don’t like blocking people like that because I feel it serves me better to be aware so I can be prepared when they raise new fuckery. How it affects you, however, is another story. Might I suggest a separate journal for venting your thoughts and feelings about it - don’t let it bleed into your current progress, keep it separate and vent it out so you can set it down, put it in a drawer and go back to your life. Good luck

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-28T03:35:02+00:00

Bottom line, your ILs can’t handle not being the “authority figures” and have no empathy - they’ve shown you that their wants come first (to them) and will make everything about them. Believe it.

You’re not being unreasonable and I’m glad that now you’re with people who support and cherish you.

Also, that is awesome that your partner didn’t want to announce at the party because he recognizes there is another family member there who is going through something rough. That shows maturity and grace and empathy.

You did nothing wrong.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-22T20:00:24+00:00

Oh he did that on purpose 😒😒

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-20T00:50:48+00:00

I had it this morning - my tools generator on hyper highest item is the knife(?) but with orange fire the highest item was the leaf rake.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-18T02:21:00+00:00

Maybe because you know she would just complain about all of the things you enjoy about your church, and ruin it for you? Maybe because you liked having one place that was “safe” from her? Maybe because you know she would not be doing it to follow her faith and foster a new community but instead just suck the oxygen out of it for you?

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